A
female
age
41-50,
*ummed out
writes:Guys here is a question 4 U women if its ever happened 2 U please please give advise. In the middle of sex all of a sudden he takes it out and says I came but there isn't anything there he didn't ejaculate but he says it feels like he did. Then it just goes limp and its over he doesn't even want to continue with intercourse. I think he just isn't into sex. He is 26! This isn't healthy I try to yell him to see a doctor because it's hurting me terribly we can't have a normal sex life and it's only been 2 years. I was with someone 4 7 years and every time we did it it got better. I don't understand this with my new guy and I don't understand his easy going no big deal attitude about it all. I am not supposed to be hurt or say it may be a health issue. Is the almost finishing thinking he is finished thing normal for a guy? I wish I knew but This is it. I can't do this anymore I mean what the hell will we have 20 years from now if this is what we have in 2 years.
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ejaculate, limp, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 It's not that unusual for men to have problems ejaculating with a woman via intercourse, but to be able to bring themselves off masturbating. This is usually for psychological reasons, which can get quite complex. Therapy is the usual way to tackle this.
If you google the phrases 'retarded ejaculation' and 'delayed ejaculation' you'll find lots of information about it. I suggest you read some of the links and then come back here if you have any further questions.
It's also possible that it's just happening because he's masturbating so much, and gotten too used to his hand. A guy with his hand can exert a lot more pressure than you can with your body, meaning achieving orgasm with you might become very difficult. There is a way to test this: he just needs to stop masturbating for a while. The difficult thing for you is that he doesn't want to seem to admit he is doing it! He may be ashamed of it because he feels he can't give you what you are looking for. You need to be able to talk about this openly with him. Keep raising it, talk about out of your normal context, and not during sex or when he is doing it. Any step to a solution is going to mean he has to admit to it, so thats the first thing to do.
A
female
reader, bummed out +, writes (29 January 2008):
bummed out is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again for the input. I am so confused and frustrated. I really think he has major issues. As I said before I know he masterbates every night right there in bed next to me and when I wake up he pretends he isn't doing anything but he is wide awake. He takes me for an idiot. I told him look if our sex was right on then do what you please but when I haven't gotten it in days and your pleasing your self where the hell hell does that leave me? Also I feel like he has this secret great pleasure with himself and its all a chore when its with me like he waits for me to sleep and from what I have observed he can keep it up and he can orgasim a lot alone. I believe three times in a row once. My real issue here is I love him well falling out quickly now but we are great friends besides the fact that he is lying to me and yelling at me when I get upset over this. We have become co dependent living together owning a car and bills. I hate this. It won't be easy also I am 31 I want to have a kid someday soon. I will have to start over with someone else if that someone ever comes. I have always been the girl you had fun with great sex with but never took he home to meet mom. I don't want to be alone again for a long time. I know things won't change with this guy its suck it up and stay or grow some balls and go for what I want. I would rather not get it at all than get what I do and I would rather sleep knowing I won't be woken by an act that has now become so offensive to me. I almost don't want to go to bed anymore in fear that he will wake me. I get so sick inside knowing he wouldn't rather wake me up and have sex I have told him before just wake me up.ill sleep naked and you can wake me which ever way you want to. Never happened. Plenty of nights the bed is rocking and he is under the covers all hot and sweaty. Your all like my therapy thank you just knowing someone will read this and maybe answer back makes me feel as though I'm not alone.
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