A
female
age
36-40,
*awgal
writes:Hi I was really in to this guy I know, and yes we did a sex a few times, both drunk and sober. He told me he liked me, but it has been over 3 months since anything has happend. I find myself getting jealous of him when he speaks to other girls and ignoring me. Then we both go out for a couple of pints, and he tells me that he doesnt like me anymore, for some strange reason. Then a few weeks later, when we go out for a major night out, he asks me to be ready by a certain time, and to come round at his place. I do, but it then takes him till midnight to be ready. Then we just go to local pool hall for an hour, and then hit a club. After about an hour, he says his not well and goes outside for some air. After 20 mins have passed I start to worry and go looking for him, only to find he's not outside. And when I call him, it turned out he had gone home ill. So i jump in a taxi to see if he is alright, and I give him a hug and kiss goodnight to which he freaks out, runs upstairs and locks the door. I guess what I'm really after is an explaination as to why we can go from best mates... to a sexual realationship... to him just ignoring me and wanting nothing to do with me. I just dont get it anymore, any help would be welcomeThanks in advance for your advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Your emotions may be over ruling your better judgement here. This guy has sex with you, then tells you he doesn't like you anymore, he's ignoring you to talk to other females, he keeps you waiting while he gets ready, he asks you to come and get him, then he dumps you at a club, feigns illness and goes home. And after all this, you go to his place, hug and kiss him goodnight? What is wrong with this picture? The guy is a user and you were a sexual release for him. You are behaving way too desperate and needy, hun and you need to stop doing that, not just with him but with all guys.
It's obvious to see that having sex with this fellow, has engaged your heart quite a bit. And sometimes females feel they have yo make attempts at getting his attention. But your over enthusiam is not having the same effect on him. And quite often this is the case with males and females. You have a choice to make here and I hope you can make the choice that prevents you from becoming further hurt. I suggest you walk away from this guy, totally. No friends, no nothing. This choice is painful but allows you to keep your dignity intact and it frees you up to heal, recover and find a more worthier guy that you can develop a deeper, caring relationship with. A man who loves you back, a man who treats you like his only beloved and cherishes only you.
I would question this 'friends' motivations and his sincerity as a true, caring friend to have treated you, in such a way. People's action really tell you about their feelings and character. You have to remember, when one allows others to demean and use us...the one who gets hurt the most will be you. Your body and emotions are precious. Only have sex with someone who is willing to share his heartfelt emotions and wants to commit to you in a mutually loving and respectable relationship. He doesn't share the same feelings as you and he has told you that outright. It's simply time to move on and accept that this guy doesn't want what you want. Good luck, dear and take care of yourself.
A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (29 January 2008):
 I know it hurts, but it sounds he's using you...dropp him, find someone who likes you back. This guy seems to only like you when he wants something and it seems he's not considerate to you..best of luck x
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Some men just want sex.
Some of those men have the honesty to tell you that before they have sex with you. Not that common since they tend not to get the sex they were after in the first place.
Some men have at least enough courtesy to tell you that after they have had sex with you. At least things are clear from that point on.
And some men aren't brave enough to tell you to your face that all they wanted is sex. So they just run and hide and hope it all goes away.
It sounds like this guy was one of the third type.
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