A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When you love someone so much, would you choose in not forgetting to call that person? Does it really happen that one forgets to call? or is it just some lame excuse? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 i'm guessing someone forgot to call you?
don't focus on little things they forget to validate that they love you, instead focus on the things they do do
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): I think what sleepyhollow is trying to say is that you don't have to be calling someone up all the time to love them. Indeed if you hardly ever called them there would be something wrong.It's complete madness and insecure to assume that someone doesn't love you just for the sake of a missed call or two. You neither own or control a person and cannot expect things to run as you want them all the time. You have to look at the inner you and realise that things are not always about yourself and that your other half simply is tired or just plain busy! They haven't forgotten you.Try to put your energy into making the relationship work and giving your partner some room to grow instead of picking at them for simply doing what every human being does - it's far too suffocating and unhealthy to a relationship. If it's love nothing will make it disapear - certainly not a period of silence anyway.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (10 May 2007):
 Oh my, oh MY.
I don't thin kyou can really CHOOSE to forget. To "forget" is to make a mistake. I know that sometimes I forget to call my Mother (doesn't mean I don't still adore her and love her to pieces), and sometimes I'll forget to call my boyfriend - not because I don't love him, but because I get distracted, it slips my mind and then all the sudden he's asking, "why didn't you call?" and I slap my head and say, "oh my God, I'm so sorry... I forgot."
If this happens frequently, then yes, you have a problem. But people make mistakes all the time. If you are truly in love, you will absolutely be able to forgive a mistake, a little forgetfulness. And some people really do have a hard time with remembering things. I know I can be a little flaky... sometimes I have difficulty with my memory.
Forgive him, forgive him. Forgetting is not something you do to be cruel. It just happens and it is an honest mistake. I KNOW you've forgotten to do a thing or two in your lifetime.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): Of course you can forget to call someone if you love them. That's the whole meaning of "forget" - it is out of your choosing.
I have been completely engrossed, more then once, in something i was doing and before i knew it hours had passed.
There is a big difference those between a genuine one-off mistake and someone saying it because they didn't want to talk to you.
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (10 May 2007):
 Well, I always thought, if I really fail in love with someone, I would think of this person all the time and would never forget to call him. And I was very, very unhappy, when my boyfriend used to forget, because I thought he doesn't really love me... But then after a few month beeing together, it happend to me, that I forgot to call him...!!! I was shocked, when I realised and was wondering if I really still love him. But I did and I still do! And the worst thing that happend to me a few weeks ago was: after beeing togehter for more than two years, he gave me a rose for the first time ever. I was very surprised and it made me very happy and had a feeling of a lot of butterflies in me stomach. That evening we were invited at someones house, 45min away from where I life. I was thinking of the rose nearly all the evening and put it somewhere where I thought no child or dog will get it there, but because I can not really see it there, will I forget to take it with me when I go home? Impossible I thought - but then, it came to the end and I had to rush on the train and when I was sitting in that train, I realised that I forgot the rose at my friends house and could not go back... The only thing I could do, was to call my friends and ask them to put the rose into some water. I went there the next day when I had some free time to get it... But really, also if you are very much in love and have a lot of butterflies in your stomach, it can happen, it is just "normal" if it does sometimes, don't worry. If it only happend once or twice, it could be because someone had a lot of stress or was verymuch envolved in something very interessting and just forgot the rest of the world for a short time. But if it happens very regularly, you should think and talk about it.
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A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (10 May 2007):
This is a really complicated question and there are two viable answers.
Yes, if you love someone, it is possible to forget to call them.
No, if you love someone, it is not possible to forget to call them.
Oddly enough, both answers are right and wrong at the same time. People who love one another can get into a funk whereby they start to take the other person for granted. You see this all the time with married couples, couples, and people who are just friends.
And the hard thing to understand is that quite often the other person cannot and will not understand that their forgetting makes you feel as if they're slipping away. It is paranoia that may or may not be justified. But the feelings you have are very real, and the pain you feel hurts as badly as if your fears were justified and true.
This is the part where inner strength is needed. You need to step back and believe in yourself. If they are slipping away from you and trying to send you a message to that effect, then none of the love you feel will cause them to stay with you. And if they aren't slipping away from you, and it is just your own irrational fears, then how you react may determine whether or not you end up pushing them away.
I don't know how this applies to your situation, but I hope it gives you some insight into your own heart. And keep in mind that if you truly love her, then the way you have to react is cooly and calmly. You may not manipulate situations in which to test her love. You may not accuse her of not loving you enough. Choose instead to be mature and accept whatever comes. Try your hardest to be a good person, honest and honorable. Do not turn into the puppy beast, full of jealousy and suspicion. And if she breaks up with you, don't make a scene. Do not cry. Do not pound your chest or drown yourself in beer... at least, don't do any of this where she can see you.
In other words, be strong, have respect for both of you, and keep the faith.
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A
male
reader, forgonepath +, writes (10 May 2007):
When you love someone a lot, you DON'T forget to call! It's as simple as that. Sorry buddy.
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