A
female
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anonymous
writes:An old friend of mine (NOT a boyfriend!!!) said that he thinks that nowadays it is common expectation that a crush -- even one felt by a married man!!! -- should end up "consummated" whereas years ago this wasn't true. I think this is terrible and not even true, and that most married couples are faithful and that a crush stays a crush 98% of time, "even" nowadays. I think marriage is sacred. Aren't I right?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for all your extremely helpful answers!
There is definitely something in Lazy Boy's idea about social circles and drawing the line according to ones feelings. But I am glad that the consensus is that it is
better to be faithful, "cool to be faithful" as Carly Simon sings!!!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 You are both right. It all depends on what social circles you move in.
As for marriage being sacred, plenty of people feel that even just dating should be exclusive. Where do you draw the line, that all depends on your own feelings.
For instance. Girl confesses she loves you, you are taken by suprise and ask for some time to consider your own feelings. She sleeps with someone else within a day. Cheating or not? Some would say yes, some no.
Just be aware that different people will have different opinions and you better find this out before the relationship gets to deep.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 You are 100% right
Though at any time in our lives we cant help who we have a crush on and sometimes they come at the wrong time(during a relationship) they should stay a crush and thats it. end off nothing else.
Anything more and your gonna end up cheating on your partner
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 May 2008):
 I agree with you, love. Crushes are natural, but for a married (or engaged... or committed, whatever) person they should stay simply crushes and NOT be acted on.
Simply put, it's cheating and cheating in a relationship just isn't okay. Not unless you are involved in an "open relationship" or something, where both parties are open about seeing and sleeping with other people.
I think you're right and that your friend is a little bit of a player... or getting his information from the wrong sources... or trying to make a move on you...
xx India
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): Yeah I think you are.
When you get married, religiously or not, you are vowing that you will spend the rest of your life with someone. This means that you won't cheat, or do anything to anyone else.
It obviously can't prevent you from feelings with someone else, however, if you love someone that much to get married this wouldn't normally be a problem. However, crushes are usually just thoughts.
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