A
male
age
,
*xcvbn
writes:hisomething thats always bugging me ..i wonder if you can help me.... i have been married for sometime/before my marriage my wife use to play badminton quite alot....and crease her legs together to masterbate..... on our first intercourse i noted she had no hymen ....even quite tight .she always proclaims that strecting her legs whilst in badmington and sport contrubuted to the hymen being broken.can you help me to clear this doubt in headthanks
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male
reader, axcvbn +, writes (30 April 2008):
axcvbn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi
tisha-1
thanks for being guidfull ...i will try it out,for atleast my kids sake....i hope these negative feelings vanish....i really want to let go of these bad days so much.....i still feel she is hiding many things ..i cant seem to shake that,but i will try this but please try and help ...someone help...these voice dont sound real but but seem real
thanks
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 April 2008):
 Sounds like you're already starting to think positively. Tell you what, next time you have a negative thought, don't push it away, but then stop, and write down 3 positive things about yourself and your wife. Keep a little journal where you only write down the good things.
Something little like, 'she smells like sunshine today' or 'I like the way her face crinkles when she smiles' or 'I have my health, my wife, my friends, I am a lucky man.' Keep writing new positive thoughts into the journal everyday. Paste pictures of things that make you happy into the book too. Flowers, food, a sports team, anything that you like.
After a week or two, you can pull out the journal when you feel negative thoughts and look to the words you've written inside for all the good in your life.
When you have a negative thought, write it down on a piece of loo paper. Read it, then flush it down the toilet!
Sounds silly, maybe, but it can't hurt to try, can it?
One more thing, are you hearing real voices in your head, or do you mean that in a kind of metaphorical way? I just ask to make sure that I understand you correctly.
Well, the sun is shining here, the birds are singing and I just realized that the bird feeder is empty. They must be scolding me!
Good luck with the new project I've given you!
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A
male
reader, axcvbn +, writes (24 April 2008):
axcvbn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi..tisha_1,thanks for ur answer,maybe ur right,i will take ur advise,ur right i have got myself already ill..but these voices in my head dont stop...but i will try hard,and let time heal and play its part to make me understand...sometimes i soppose when u have no one to talk to it seems even the unreal come alive and u want to belive the unreal.....that voice that satin in sside who always wants to distroy,even ur closest help u to become a zero,,,i suppose that ur right 20years is truth it self...i dont know whom i am fighting ....maybe the good i have....which everyone around me is helping me to disytoy....i will try hard to develope on love,thanksssss.may be i have to go through this to relize me ...and her....after all i think people would be more happy to see us hurt and ill......i think we need each other more,and win. then maybe one day this would seem like passing clouds
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 April 2008):
She might be very exhausted at trying to convince you of something that you simply don't want to believe. Trust her, love her, and stop worrying! She is with you for 20 years, right? So please give her the benefit of the doubt. You are only going to make yourself and her unhappy with this now.
All the best.
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A
male
reader, axcvbn +, writes (23 April 2008):
axcvbn is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the help....u see I am and alwaysed possesive on my wife maybe love, maybe scared of her leaving me, maybe just possesive....I don't know... but I have always given her 10001% of me, my past, my mind, my love, everything about me...there are not gaps into what I haven't told her...even my fantasies, the way my mind and I clink...u know all that, I have so honest......but....she on every question even up to this day after 20 years marriage on many situations says I won't do that...or she would say nothing...like she says trust me...I love you..but she would never stand her ground by helping me to talk things through to help understand or get over it, it just seems she don't care about getting it...someone please help me understand. please.[moderators note to poster, please do not use all capital letters when replying, thank you.]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): look up hymen in the dictionary this is what you will find
A thin sheath of tissue partially covering the vaginal passage that can be broken by active sports.
www.ifsha.org/glossary.htm - Definition in context
Do you believe her now?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Yes, my sweet, a hymen can be broken in so many ways! Sports could do it, or any NUMBER of other things - riding a bike, tampons, falling, riding a horse, any NUMBER of things can lead to a hymen being broken. Don't preoccupy yourself with that question!!
Trust your wife, there is no need to doubt her loyalty or honesty.
xx India
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): YES! Her hymen could be broken by many things, even things that are not related to sports. i should know, I'm a doctor here in the US and my specialty is female ailments/health.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 April 2008):
Yep, unless she was a Victorian lady who spent her youth doing embroidery and stroking kittens that hymen will be well gone.
Badminton, climbing trees, cycling, tampons, masturbation, they can all damage the tiny tiny layer of skin that form the hymen.
Get over your trust issues and stop doubting her.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): Yes - gone are the days where women didnt do more than lift a teacup - nowdays women are active in many ways and this does contribute to the hymen being broken.
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