A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am i right to be pissed off?So this girl who i am basically dating (we kiss, hug, cuddle, hang out all the time) but arent official because for some reason she needs time, i found today that she is possibly dating another guy.She has been going to albany(about 1hr away) to hang out with her sister, but i think she has been going to see this guy as well, because on her myspace, hes her #1, and on her facebook which i dont have she has messaged him saying things like "hey sweetheart, cant wait to see you :), and happy easter handsome, or i had fun last weekend gotta do it again :)" And she is going to a wedding across the state with her a few of her friends....and this guy(who shes said all along hes just a friend, nothing more!).She said he needs to find a tie to match her shoes for the wedding but says that they arent going together, but as a group...Why does he need to match to HER shoes then??. And her away message in her facebook says "going to Albany for the weekend.........Cant wait to see my cutie :)". I told her what i found and she says "hes just a friend, hes helped me through alot and weve known each other for a looong time", but this type of talking to each other to me should only be reserved for significant others right?? Am i wrong to be pissed at her and hurt?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 April 2008):
 I don't think that you're overreacting. It seems like she does definitely have a relationship with this guy, even if it is just like the one she has with you - casual. I think you need to just tell her that you're not going to wait in the wings while she figures things out.
I would just fly solo for awhile... maybe find a girl who will commit to you and be a real girlfriend to you (unlike your current woman).
Tell her that if she'd really like to be with you, then you want to be in a serious relationship. If she's still making you wait around for her, don't waste your time.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008): In one way your right to be pissed, I sense she is not being ompletely truthful to you.
When she is unwilling for the two of you to be official, that she needs time, it means she still wants to date others, and among them, find the best match for her that she can call official.
It sounds like accepting her as a friend and dating others is where you need to be heading. It doesn't sound like your soul mates. If you get mad about this in front of her, you may not even have a friendship afterwards.
What is good for goose is good for the gander is the situation you have on your hands. Start dating others. You may click and find someone to be official with.
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