A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I recently started fingering my girlfriend and was just wondering what I could say to get her to start giving me bj's.Weve talked about it lightly and she said she would rather give bj's than handjobs. I kinda think it's fair that she should, seeing as though I'm fingering her but don't know what to say to hint for her to give me a bj.Thanks a lot in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): yea obviously don't pressure her into something she's not into. i think that there are ways to physically gesture your desires - although do not push her head down! that would not be nice.i think it would a good idea to start out touching each other with your hands before moving to oral. in this case she should probably touch you and begin to grow more comfortable and let her then initiate taking things further herself.if you really care about her all, you will want her to be comfortable and should be willing to wait however long that might take!good luck!
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 "if she loved me like I love her then she'd want to return the favour"
I hope you don't say that to HER. I think your thinking is a little off about what sex means in a relationship. Being physical isn't a competition, it's not evidence of love. Not at your stage of the game. You said she's shy, which suggests to me that she's nervous about giving you a blow job. You're 16-17, I'm guessing your girlfriend is as young, maybe she's just not ready and doesn't need you to be pushing her with any sort of "if you really loved me then you'd return the favor" crap.
If she would get creeped out by receiving oral sex, she's probably not ready to be giving it either. I would back off this issue with her and enjoy what you guys have been doing together. Spend a little longer making out, feeling up and feeling down. There's no need to rush your sexual relationship. When she's comfortable and she's ready, she'll let you know.
I know you're not trying to be selfish, but on paper that's how it comes off. Reevaluate your priorities in this relationship. If you want to find a girl who will put out, go find one! There are plenty of easy gals who will give you a blow job. But if you really care about this gal, you'll be patient and wait until her shyness subsides.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Has she actually had an orgasm from you fingering her?Dude, what are talking about with that "if she loved me the same" crap? Love has nothing to do with her not yet having given you a blo-job, I mean you said she's shy!!!If I'm honest with you, saying that makes me think you are being selfish. If you say that kind of thing to her then that would make you an asshole, so I'd advise you not to.Lots of people including girls here, have just told you if she cums she'll wanna make you cum, so learn how give her a manual orgasm, you'll know for sure when it happens, I've had plenty of girls tell me they did reach orgasm just to please me, until I actually did for the first time, believe me once you have you'll never need to ask.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 January 2009):
You're using your hands to pleasure her, so wouldn't it be "fair" for her to use her hands to pleasure you? I would say that fingering is a handjob!! So don't say that it's a "fair" exchange, because it's not.
Why don't you offer her some amazing oral sex? Then it would be more fit for her to give you a blow job. Just don't press her to do anything she's not comfortable with - the blow job will feel really awful if you know that she's not into it. Show her how incredibly oral sex can be by demonstrating on her first!! Then she might be more enthusiastic about giving you some oral action.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I've offered to give her oral but she said it would creep her out to receive! And I'm not doing it for selfish reasons I just wouldnhave thought that if she loved me like I love her then she'd want to retun the favour. Bt I think partly the reason is because shes shy and wouldn't want to start it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): First of all,not everyone likes giving blowjobs,Some people could feel disgusted at the thought of putting someone's penis in their mouth !.The feeling may be pleasant for the person receiving it,but not necessarily for the person giving it.As someone said above,there is a big difference between someone touching you with their hand than their is with using their mouth !.
It also shouldnt be considered " fair " for her to give you a blowjob.She should only do that if she is comfortable with it,and you shouldnt be disappointed with her if she doesnt as it is her decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): if you give her a good enough orgasm from fingering or oral sex, then she may feel obliged to repay you…rock her world the next time and then she might feel guilty for not reciprocating :p
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (27 January 2009):
how does a Blow job compare to a little fingering?
i don;t get how she would prefer to give head then a hand job. a hand job is much easier and nicer for the girl. sure i give head to guys, but only because i like to get oral sex as well. have you even considered giving her oral sex? if you don't want to, then why should she suck your dick? if you are only going to finger her then she should just give you a hand job. you can't make her give you a bj. really think about how you have compared it. just because you finger her does not mean that you SHOULD get a bj. please...grow up and smell the coffee!
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (27 January 2009):
 To say that it's fair that she gives you a blow job since you're fingering her is far from accurate!
What you're asking for in comparison to what you're giving are a long ways apart! A little fingering does not equal her giving you a blow job.
Have you considered giving her oral? Now THAT would be considered "FAIR"!
Joe~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I wouldn't say anything to be honest, when you are both alone in a place where she feels comfortable giving you one, then she probably will in the course of a make out session without you asking, it'll be better a bj if she decides to do it on the basis of wanting to pleasure you and not just because you asked.
It's not about fairness either really, I mean if you're just fingering her to get a bj and not with the sole purpose of giving her pleasure then your doing it for selfish reasons and thats pointless. I find that if I give the girl an orgasm then they usually can't wait to return the favour!
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