A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this is an awkward thing to be asking strangers, but i don't really know what to do. My Boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years, and man has it been a ride. But we don't have sex. We don't have sex because he doesn't like vagina's, but he isn't attracted to men either. he has a lot of mental problem, hes on lithium, he has major panic attacks, bipolar, extreme anxiety, and a not so good home life. But we do love each other more than anything. but i just don't know what to do about the lack of sex, i love him and I'm here to help him any way i can, but i just don't know. I've never even heard of anything like this before. we do do other things, but he cant cum around other people either, which is odd. But he just doesn't want to be anywhere near that part on a woman. I'm just really confused and looking for any kind of help/advice i can get. Can you have a healthy relationship without sex ?is he gay ? straight? or something all to its self?
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Sex is important but not exactly essential.
If both of you are ok without the sex then itcan be good, but if you want it then perhaps things wont go well as you will gradully feel very frustrated. Seeing as youve posted this question already sums up that you are annoyed.
Also once you started saying he had anxiety and etc, I know that when people are depressed, or stressed all the time, sex lacks and some people will just never want to have it.
I am constanlty stressed and also have a very very low sex drive so perhaps taking him to a councellor will help him get stuf off his chest.
The bst thing to do is talk to him. Tell him how you feel and tell him where you see the relationship going.
Goodluck xxx
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 January 2009):
 I think you CAN have a healthy relationship without sex, but only when both people in the relationship aren't interested in having sex! You, my dear, are in for a paaaaaaiiiinnnfully long future with this fella. I am guessing that eventually you won't be able to take it and you'll either drive yourself crazy, cheat or leave him. I would cut to the chase and break up with him. He will find someone out there who feels similarly, there are women (few and far between, but they exist) out there who aren't into sex but want a fulfilling relationship. Give them a chance to find happiness with your fella and give your man the chance to find a woman who is just as enthusiastic as he is about this lifestyle.
You are clearly a strong woman who really loves this man, but I really think that you'll feel a little empty without being able to express your love for him physically.
As for whether he's gay, straight, bi... well, I don't know him. It's hard to determine from what you've told us. He seems pretty asexual to me.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): I don't think it's going to work out in the long run. Healthy relationships do involve sex which makes people closer and if he's not giving you what you want, unfortunately you'll get frustrated with him. I see that you love him, but if he's not going to give you what you want then it's most likely not going to work.
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