A
female
age
41-50,
*avish
writes:Would you sacrific your own happiness for someone else? say you know that your significant other loves you dearly and you somehow fallen out of love with them. They are aware of it and you both are working to rekindle that love.. but you know that your feelings have changed, though you still want that person to be happy, so you stay in the relationship. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): HiIf you live a lie then in the end you will cause damage to both of you and many wasted years and opportunities. Sacrifice a short interval of hurt, by telling the truth instead of years of lies. You are not indespensible she will get over you and meet a man who really loves her and vise versa. via con dios.
A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (26 January 2009):
i think you have to take the risk of hurting them, rather than letting them believe whats not true, then finding out the truth and being torn apart.
the truth always comes out, you can hide it and think your doing the person a favour but in most situations its only getting worse. you have to be true to not only the person involved but yourself, if your unhappy then its come to the end, its not your fault feelings spiral out of control and people get so up and down its impossible to control them. you seem a caring person to consider this but look at it in the long run, the person would probabl thank you in the end, if they love you they dont want you unhappy.
you cannot live your life trying to please everyone else, be true to yourself as well as respecting and loving others. if you feel its the end then a change needs to be made. it may feel bad now but 5 years down the line you will both be in better places, in a relatinship with people who feel the same etc.
it gets worse before it gets better, you have to just be paitent and honest. Good luck xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): I wonder how you view love, what it means for you to have "fallen out of love".
First off what love isn't:
It isn't something you fall into
It isn't a feeling
It isn't sacrificing your own happiness
It isn't unkind
It isn't something that is responsible for your happiness
It isn't something that you base on how you feel, feelings are based on your own mind set and perceptions, not on reality and they change about as often as you change your socks
It isn't selfish
It isn't temporary
It isn't conditional
What love is:
Lust and infatuation is what you fall into.
Love is a conscious decision a committment
Love is not a feeling it is a conscious decision to BE a Person worthy of love. There is action behind it whether you FEEL like it or not.
Love does not require you to sacrifice your own happiness, you are responsible for your own happiness.
What it requires is for you to take care of your partners needs 110% keeping in mind the deal breaking behaviors of abuse and substance abuse, and keeping an eye for your own happiness and giving that a voice so your partner can know you and take care of your needs as well.
Love is patient and kind and is based first a a deep abiding friendship that takes care of both person's needs.
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/68
Check out this article and also read the link below it about Relationship Myths.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Think of it this way, if you really loved someone but you knew they were unhappy in the relationship and that they were only staying with you so as to keep you happy, how would you feel and do you think you could let them sacrifice their happiness for you?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (26 January 2009):
 Sacrificing your own happiness is sometimes something you've gotta do for someone you love. Your family, and when you have them, your husband, your children. And you shouldn't just sacrifice your happiness for any reason, not unless it is absolutely necessary and detrimental to the health, safety, bigger picture of happiness for whomever you're helping. And I'm talking, your husband got a new job in Toledo, you don't want to move there because you'll not be happy about it, but you know that a bigger salary and full benefits will be a huge opportunity for your family. Sacrifice.
But this? This is no reason to sacrifice happiness! You will make this other person happy by dropping out of this relationship. Nobody wants to be in a one sided relationship where the other person is sticking around because they feel bad for you. It may feel like you're doing the right thing and it will feel lousy when you break up with him, but it is the right thing to do. He doesn't deserve a half-assed relationship and NEITHER DO YOU! You deserve to find someone who makes you completely happy.
I would definitely let him go, as hard as that may be... it is certainly for the best.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 January 2009):
You are mistaken if you think that staying with them is going to make them happy.
Do you know how horrible and soul destroying it is to be with someone when deep down you know they don't love you and may very well want someone else?
If you don't love this guy then by "sacrificing yourself" and staying with him you are going to torture him and he will get worse and worse and more insecure.
If you don't love him then leave him. By staying with him you are stopping him from ever finding a girl who will love him as much as he deserves.
Good Luck!! xx
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