A
female
age
30-35,
*ymy
writes:I've been seeing my boyfriend for about a month now (we haven't had sex but I feel that we care about each other and trust each other enough to perhaps eventually make that step). I'm a virgin and he's had two sexual partners before, so I am slightly concerned that if we do have sex and something goes wrong (we discussed contraception if the time came to it) I could catch something. I don't know if he has anything, though obviously do not want to take any risks by not finding out. Is it too unreasonable to ask him to get checked, or that we both get checked together (he knows I'm a virgin but just to be on the safe side) or would he take offence or think I was being paranoid and assuming he's 'been around'. I don't want to cause any friction by asking him this, but is just wearing a condom enough?
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female
reader, Mymy +, writes (23 January 2009):
Mymy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your advice, I'm seeing him again on Monday so will ask him then if it seems appropriate. I'll let you know :)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (22 January 2009):
 Hey sweetness,
Nobody should be offended by that question, nobody except for a handful of scumbags out there. You're looking out for your health and his... he should be happy to do anything for your personal comfort. With my fella, he had been with chicks and I was a virgin (like you) and he didn't bat an eye when I asked him to get tested with me. It's the markings of a real gentleman.
A condom would suffice, but there are still a lot of risks involved, and you'll be missing out on additional fun. I would just go put your mind at ease so that you two can have all the oral/sexual fun you want without the fear of contracting anything. When you're in there getting checked, get yourself some birth control so that you don't have to fear pregnancy either!
Be safe and enjoy! You're being very smart, good for you!
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A
male
reader, FunnyMan27  +, writes (22 January 2009):
As a boy/man i think that he should be fine with it if he loves you and understand that it would be good for you both to now and piece of mind.
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