A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of a few days now got off work early yesterday and wanted to hang out. But I had to work late. Plus, I had school work. We talked throughout the night. Then, I said let's hang out on Friday...due to my busy work and school schedule. He said, "ok" Later on at night he calls me again to talk...he mentions "oh my friend invited me and a few friends to play poker on Saturday." He goes on and says, that means I have to spend more time with you on Friday. My tone of voice changed but still said, "ok" That means I won't see him that day, at all! Is this normal? Do guys want to hang out with their gf one day and the next just the 'guys'? So, we hung up and I was a little bothered...I thought to myself. Hmmmm that means I can hang out with my friends. And I'll do this on Sunday. Sooooo, I will only be seeing him on Friday! I haven't told him yet. What should I do? I don't know why, but I got that strange feeling that he's trying to or is playing me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 January 2009):
 I don't think he's necessarily playing you, unless you have other evidence besides a poker game with the guys. He should be allowed to go out and have fun with the guys on the weekend and you should absolutely go out with your girlfriends. Time apart is completely healthy, even for a relationship as young as yours. By showing how cool you are now about this, you'll be really scoring some "awesome girlfriend" points with him.
If he shows you a really great time on Friday and makes plans with you for another date, keep this guy around!
A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Allowing each other to have friends and not putting heavy restrictions on one another is a good thing!
I understand that this is a new relationship? Neither party should be expected to just drop everyone in their life. Often times that happens, and one or the other begins to feel confined. After a while, when one person makes the move to go spend time with their friends, it is a shock to the way things had been going, and the other person feels like there is something wrong. In actuality, there isn't. they just want to go and be with their friends.
Keeping it mutual is important! That is, if he wants to see you, but you've got plans, don't change them for him. Yet at the same time, don't expect him to change his for you.
If it looks like things are one way, then you have a different issue.
Going and doing things separately is healthy. It gives you something to talk about later. A mate is a beautiful thing, but being sewn together at the hip can feel suffocating.
I hope this helps.
Joe~
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