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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 20 August 2009: She means because she lives in the USA her taxes wont be going towards paying for you and your baby. You see when a teenager has a baby you get benefits from the government to look after it because you cant afford to look after it yourself, but ... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 18 August 2009: Sweety you cant get a job in the UK until you are 16. Each time you post a comment to all our answers you just keep on proving that you are not mature enough for a baby! And as for breast feeding - you can breast feed with large or small boobs, all ... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 17 August 2009: Well perhaps try studying harder at school so you can actually spell and then one day when you do have a baby you can help it with its homework!
You must have read all the answers on here - not one person has told you it is a good idea to have ... (read in full...)
Is underage sex something you agree with?! I want opinions please!
Q. Ive decided to put myself out here after been severely infuriated by some 'adults' on this site who deem it appropriate for CHILDREN to be having sex from as young as 13! do you think its appropriate for a child of this age to be having sex?? they ...
A. 16 August 2009: I would never personally advise someone to do something illegal, just as I would never advise someone to have sex with a sibling (as we get asked so often on here!).
But in my opinion, having a legal age for sex is quite outdated. How can the ... (read in full...)
Sick from alcohol, not illness, should I worry about pill's effectiveness?
Q. Ok, heres my dilema and im not sure of the chances of me getting pregnant, please tell me your views... I take the contraceptive pill mycagon30 (not sure how its spelt lol) i took it at about 7pm-ish, (as i do every day) me and my bofriend had ...
A. 16 August 2009: There is a small chance you can get pregnant, I think it is if you are sick within 24 hours of taking the pill then it will reduce its effectiveness. But I have been sick plenty of times when on the pill and had sex within the 24 hours and never got ... (read in full...)
How do you juggle dating and work?
Q. I got out of a 4 year relationship just under a year ago and now that I'm dating again, I'm wondering how people cope with 1) the uncertainty of it all, getting to know different guys at the same time and not knowing if there could be a future with ...
A. 14 August 2009: God I want to live where you live! 20 guys per girl? sounds pretty good to me, here in the UK its more like 100 girls to every guy (at least it feels like that!).
I am in a similar situation to you, I have just started dating again and I'm find... (read in full...)
I want a baby at 13
Q. the thing is i am 13 (14 on october the 26th) and i want a baby so much i cannot explain my feelings i know i am ready i have tryed to put it off by babysitting but that makes my feelings stronger i have looked it up on the internet and told my mum ...
A. 14 August 2009: You are going to get some major criticism I hope you are ready for it!
I dont want to be one of the people who are nasty so I'm going to try my best not to be harsh. But even just from the way you write and spell, it is a clear indicator you are ... (read in full...)
It's a constant struggle trying to lose my tummy fat and it won't go away! What can I do?
Q. Hi there =) I have struggled with weight maintenance for as long as I can remember and I have pretty bad genetics. Everyone is obese with diabetes in my adult family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) and an aunt on both my mother and fathers side have ...
A. 14 August 2009: Your waist is tiny! You really have nothing to worry about I promise!
If it is as you describe - like a shelf at the bottom of your tummy - then this is literally something you cannot do anything about. That bit of the tummy is the part I was talk... (read in full...)
One of my ex-girlfriends keeps trying to get back with me because she thinks I took her virginity, but did I?
Q. One of my ex-girlfriends keeps trying to get back into my life because she keeps claiming that we are destined to be together because I took her virginity. But I really don't think that what I did with her really counted. Sure, we had all sorts of ...
A. 14 August 2009: Well what I am most surprised about is that you said you had all sorts of "sexual fun" but her hymen was still in tact?! How on earth did you manage that? I am going to assume that sexual fun included fingering her, therefore it is massively ... (read in full...)
Past is the past right? I'm concerned by the number of her sexual partners!
Q. Hi Ive been seeing a new partner for a few months now.. i did the old fashioned courting, but eventually the moment came to have sex. The night was fab..no problems there, but while lying there chatting.. the topic of how many partners we ha...
A. 14 August 2009: Well there is no definition of "normal" when it comes to sexual partners, what is "normal" for one person wont be "normal" for another. In your case you have been very selective with your sexual partners and I must say for your age only 6 is ... (read in full...)
Do women wax their stomach hair?
Q. Do women have to wax their stomachs? I have never had this problem before but ever since I turned 16 my stomach hair has become so much more noticeable. I've been told to wax it or shave it and that it's normal but none of my friends have this ...
A. 14 August 2009: I just bleach the strip of hair that runs from my belly button downwards, stubble on your tummy is not a good look (or feel!). Waxing would be better than shaving I guess because it lasts longer and the stubble isnt as bad, but then again you have ... (read in full...)
It's a constant struggle trying to lose my tummy fat and it won't go away! What can I do?
Q. Hi there =) I have struggled with weight maintenance for as long as I can remember and I have pretty bad genetics. Everyone is obese with diabetes in my adult family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) and an aunt on both my mother and fathers side have ...
A. 14 August 2009: I really hope you dont listen to Satindesire, Lipo is the most dangerous of all cosmetic surgeries and can lead to some horrible complications after the surgery. It has the highest death rate of all cosmetic surgeries and often leaves nasty scars, ... (read in full...)
Can yeast or Candida lead to infertility? Which STI's have this effect?
Q. Hi. I've read somewhere that some STIs may result to infertility. I don't know the truth in this but i just wanna know, can yeast do this or is it Candida? Again, which of the STI can do this? Thank you!...
A. 14 August 2009: A yeast infection is not an STI - it comes from an unbalance in the yeast that lives around the vagina and can be treated easily with some cream and a tablet from the doctor. It does not make you infertile!
For women, the main STI that causes i... (read in full...)
Does kissing someone equal a relationship?
Q. I was just reading someone else's question where the girl had kissed him and he thought that meant they should be in a relationship afterwards...is that how many other people think also? Because I've been seeing a guy over the last few months, we've ...
A. 13 August 2009: Kissing doesnt mean you are in a relationship, a kiss is just a kiss until you have deeper feelings for each other. Normally you would have a talk about where you were headed to decide if it really was a full on relationship or not.
But it sound... (read in full...)
Is it considered cheating when you don't disclose that you talk to others online?
Q. Is it okay to talk to different guys online while you are not committed to any of them yet? Do you consider it cheating when each of these guys doesn't know you talk to others as well? I know for sure these guys talk to other ladies on dating...
A. 13 August 2009: I think until it gets serious with one guy then you are fine to keep on talking to other guys. I've just met someone online within the last 3 weeks and we have been out twice now, and I think we are starting to quite like each other so I am cooling ... (read in full...)
I really like her but she is still hung up on her ex, what should I do?
Q. hey guys im new so dont know if this is the right place to put this but yeah this is a huge story but i can shorten it... basically went on a few dates with this girl like coffee etc, then she met up wth her ex on his birthday, shes crazy abou...
A. 13 August 2009: To put it simply - move on! She clearly has no intention of moving on from her ex any time soon so you need to just put an end to this and leave her to it!
Getting involved with a girl who is still hung up on an ex will always end in disaster... (read in full...)
I have decided an abortion is the right thing for me, but I'm worried what my boyfriend's family will do when they find out!
Q. I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I am now about seven weeks pregnant. During these two weeks I have been forced to face some tough desicions. I am fifteen and my boyfriend is sixteen. At first my boyfriend was supportive, but ...
A. 13 August 2009: If the abortion is the right thing for you to do then go ahead and see your doctor to get it arranged (the longer you leave it the more invasive the process). It is your body and your life, and you have to make the right choice for you.
I sug... (read in full...)
She's 13 and she wants me to have sex with her!!!
Q. Hi I'm 16 and my girlfriend has just turned 13 but she wants sex! What should I do? Is it ok to have sex with someone that age cos she has kept asking me almost every night for about 3 weeks....
A. 12 August 2009: I think some of the answers on here are a bit overdramatic, it wouldnt be rape because she consents. But you do have the issue that it is illegal in the UK for anyone over 16 to have sex with a minor (under 16).
Now I lost my virginity when I w... (read in full...)
BF's standing up in wedding and I'm hesitant on attending.
Q. There is a wedding going on this weekend that my boyfriend is the best man for. I am friends with the couple getting married, but I do not know anyone else that will be there except for my boyfriend of course and he's standing up. I have told him ...
A. 12 August 2009: I think you should go. Yes you might feel uncomfortable and a bit left out at times but it is important to your boyfriend, and the groom himself so just put your own discomfort aside and go along. You might have a rubbish day but you are going for ... (read in full...)
What is the big deal about masturbation?
Q. What is the big deal bout masterbating/cuming/orgasm? I have never masterbated in my life, but even on this sight there's something bout it. You hear stories bout people using hair brushes and carrots and whatnot to stick them up ya, i think it...
A. 12 August 2009: To put it simply use your fingers! One finger is fine and just rub your clitoris (the bit of skin that sticks out like a little lump - you will know when you find it because it feels different to all the other bits down there!). Once you find it and ... (read in full...)
What is the big deal about masturbation?
Q. What is the big deal bout masterbating/cuming/orgasm? I have never masterbated in my life, but even on this sight there's something bout it. You hear stories bout people using hair brushes and carrots and whatnot to stick them up ya, i think it...
A. 12 August 2009: I too think using household items and other random things to masturbate is pretty disgusting, and often unsafe and unhygenic. Using a vibrator or dildo would be a much more sensible option if you wanted to masturbate that way.
I am guessing... (read in full...)
I'm falling for this boy on Habbo and not sure if this is normal because I've never met him! What should I do?
Q. Q1. Hey, im 15 yr old female, i went on habbo few months back and i met this boy tht was just interested in talking to someone and we got chatting. I was bored and just felt like meeting new people and we've got to know eachother quite well and we w...
A. 11 August 2009: With regards to your Habbo guy, that is never going to happen! You just live way to far apart, its a bit silly to think that you can have a relationship with someone who is at the opposite end of the country!
What you are feeling for him is a cru... (read in full...)
I'm on what I think is my period, but it's different to the ones before! Could I still be pregnant?
Q. Hello. I'm a little confused and would appreciate any advice given to me. I have been ttc for nearly a year and on my "most fertile days" (25th-30th July) i had regular sex everyday with my partner (sorry tmi). For the past 2 weeks i have had...
A. 11 August 2009: Well I would say there is a chance you are pregnant so take a test! I think you are right in waiting to see how long the bleeding lasts, if it is a very short and light period then it sounds like there is a good chance you are pregnant.
Your ... (read in full...)
Everything's broken...
Q. Hello, Just to warn you, this is a long one. Bsically I am in a weird place right now, I was with my ex girlfriend since the age of 16, we spent over three years together,some happy and shit times. We were both each other's fist love and sexua...
A. 11 August 2009: I dont really see a way for you guys to get back together I'm afraid. While you may have dealt with your issues and resolved any problems you had personally, she is still at the age where a boyfriend is only going to hold her back. I know you think ... (read in full...)
Is delusion and Denial the only answer?
Q. Is delusion and denial the only answer? Let me start by saying that I wouldn't consider myself remarkably good-looking, I have no confidence, and the women I'm interested in don't ever seem to be interested in me (probably because they're above my...
A. 11 August 2009: Well think about it the other way round - the woman that you are with may feel the exact same way, so she will be constantly worried that you will want to be with a more attractive, more successful, younger and slimmer woman!
Everyone has inse... (read in full...)
I just can't accept that men always look at beautiful women!
Q. My first boyfriend ever left me, we were together for 3 years and we had some issues because he was jealous of my past. This had some impact on my self esteem, and I started feeling more and more ugly all the time (I've always felt ugly because I've ...
A. 10 August 2009: I'm not quite sure I understand why you had problems in your relationship - you said at first he was jealous of your past? Then you make it sound like it has all been your fault for not wanting him to look at other women or porn?
I know how it f... (read in full...)
What's the big deal about letting a man ejaculate in a woman's mouth?
Q. Why is it that alot of people have a problem with the question of a woman giving oral sex and letting a man ejaculate in her mouth or her swallowing? I ask it and some feel the need to humiliate or belittle or call me a jerk or use the word "de...
A. 10 August 2009: I understand where you are coming from and if you have encountered people on here who call you a jerk then it seems you have come across some of the more judgemental aunts & uncles on this site.
Now I personally dont mind swallowing in general ... (read in full...)
I want to be in a relationship with an older man but I'm unsure...what do you think?
Q. Ok so Im 17 going on 18 next year and I like an older guy and hes 26 years old going on 27 in september. Were friends and hes really nice. I know just because guys are nice doesnt mean theyll be like that all the time. And because of our age ...
A. 10 August 2009: Well if you are waiting until you are 18 then it sounds like you are being sensible about this so why not! Is this guy interested in you as well? Or does he only see you as a friend? Make sure you clear that one up before you do start to pursue a ... (read in full...)
What will people think seeing me working in a restaurant?
Q. Well I think this may seem juvenile, but I've been getting bad anxiety about this and it's making me lose motivation. I was living in a large city, but I ended up getting laid off my job and moved back home, to my much smaller city. The city isn't ...
A. 10 August 2009: Well you are doing it for a good reason so you shouldnt be worried about what other people may think. You are doing it to improve yourself and to help build a better future so you shouldnt be embarrassed! Yes it may mean a few people see you in the ... (read in full...)
My friends accuse me of being with my b/f for his money, not true! How to deal with this?
Q. My boyfriend runs a web hosting company. It's not just online though - he does meet with clients offline (i.e. face-to-face, these are business clients, not members of the public). When I told friends what he does they accused him of being as ...
A. 7 August 2009: I think your boyfriend definately has the right attitude towards the negativity shown by your friends, just letting it wash over you is the best possible way to deal with it!
Your friends are both jealous and ignorant (they clearly have no idea ... (read in full...)
Ways to gain weight to increase breast size
Q. hi i am a 13 year old girl and i am looking for ways to gain weight.i know the obvious answer would be to eat alot but i tried that.i have been skinny all my life.i want to gain weight because i want to increase the size of my breast.kids pick on me ...
A. 7 August 2009: Your body will have just entered puberty at 13 so it has only just started developing, it will take you a few years before your breasts develop fully! Gaining weight wont work in the way you want it too, while it will make your boobs a tiny bit ... (read in full...)
How can I keep my stomach flat? I'm desperate!
Q. hi every1!im 15.im tall n slim but i have a problem with my staumach,sometimes its so flat and sometimes its not!!!!!!!and because of my bad luck when i have a party or when i plan 2 go 2 the beach with my friends guess what?i wake up in the morning ...
A. 6 August 2009: Ok well if you say some days your tummy is flat, and others it isnt, then you do not need to lose weight. That difference you see in your stomach is down to food - starchy foods like pasta, bread and potatoes (carbs really) make your tummy bloated ... (read in full...)
15, pregnant and don't know what to do. Can someone shed some light on my situation?
Q. I found out I was pregnant about a week and a half ago. I told my parents the next day I found out. My mother has become supportive to non supportive to some-what supportive within this past week and some. My parents boyfriend are also aware, ...
A. 6 August 2009: I wish people would stop with the "I dont believe in abortion" nonsense - this is not someone asking you about your personal beliefs and you cannot force them on someone else!
I hope that you (the girl who has asked this question) ignores those re... (read in full...)
Survey: Is finding a mate a trial and error thing?
Q. Hi I was just wondering.. I just broke up with my bf and I promise myself not to stumble with someone like him anymore. But how will I make sure I wont attract the same type of person? Right now, I have met one online. And to be honest, I am h...
A. 6 August 2009: Make him wait to have sex with you! That is pretty simple, you normally find that after about 2 weeks (or 4-5 dates) if you havent had sex and thats all he wants, he will not bother calling you etc and will vanish off the face of the earth. I know ... (read in full...)
Are there any pills you would recommend to help me lose weight?
Q. how can i lose weight? are there any pills that you would recommend? i am 14 5ft2 and about 10 1/2 stone. i would really appreciate any advice. please don't recommend any diets because i am not allowed to follow any of them. ...
A. 6 August 2009: Pills dont work if you want to lose weight - they have nasty side effects and as soon as you stop taking them you will put the weight all back on again! Do you actually know how weight loss pills work? They stop you from absorbing the fat in your ... (read in full...)
15, pregnant and don't know what to do. Can someone shed some light on my situation?
Q. I found out I was pregnant about a week and a half ago. I told my parents the next day I found out. My mother has become supportive to non supportive to some-what supportive within this past week and some. My parents boyfriend are also aware, ...
A. 6 August 2009: Only you can make this decision, and you have to do what is best for you. An abortion would be the easier of the two options because you wouldnt have the financial worries and you could continue with your education. However you would have to live ... (read in full...)
We are trying to have a baby, with no sucess, any suggestions?
Q. Hey im 20 nearly 21 and me and my boyfriend are tryin for a baby. Iv come off the pill but just doesnt seem to happen for us as much as we try. I find after sex that half of the cum seems to leave me as soon as i get up from the bed. Its reall...
A. 6 August 2009: Doctors often say that it can take up to 6 months for the pill to be fully out of you system, so there is still a chance that some of the hormones from the pill are still in your body at the moment so just be patient, you still have 2 months before ... (read in full...)
I have been forgetful with taking my birth control pills... what is plan B?
Q. I've been pretty forgetful lately with taking my birth control pills. I ended up spotting for a few days, which was weird. I took my pills at the right time for a few days, but I missed one day so I doubled up the next. A few hours after doubling ...
A. 5 August 2009: I'm guessing by plan B you mean the morning after pill as we call it here in the UK?
If so, then you have to of had sex in 72 hours or less. If it has been longer than that then it wont work. It is most effective within 24 hours, and then its effe... (read in full...)
How can I gain this weight?
Q. I’m 14 years old 5'5 and about 100lb. I’m too skinny. My parents were skinny till they were in their late 20s; my mom didn’t like eating and my dad ate alot but didn’t gain weight. I don’t eat alot and don’t gain weight. I don’t have much of an ...
A. 5 August 2009: Try not to worry too much at your age; your body doesnt finish developing until you are about 18 so you wont have all your curves until you get a bit older. You are still in your early teens so puberty has just begun really, give your body time to ... (read in full...)
For women 50 and upwards, I need ideas for a fragrance for my partner!
Q. ..... For the attention of women between 50 upwards.... What sort of fragrances do you think you like to wear in the evening? Other than "Lilly of the Valley", I would like to get my partner something a bit more different....
A. 5 August 2009: Chanel No5 is a classic and works for people of any age. I dont think you should be looking for a perfume for an "older woman" - all scents work for all ages, as each woman that wears the perfume will smell slightly differently due to their own ... (read in full...)
My partner prefers brunnettes but I'm blonde?
Q. Hi, I need to talk to my partner about this but he gets angry however this is driving me insane i need to talk to him about it or write him an email in a away that he can fully understand me and not shout at me. I have been with my boyfriend ...
A. 5 August 2009: Well you said you have been together for 2 years, so he wont be gutted that he is with you! He clearly loves you enough to stay with you that long, and of course he will be attracted to you otherwise it wouldnt have lasted this long!
I think yo... (read in full...)
Could two sexually inactive people pass along an STD?
Q. My fiancee and I are about to get married and have sex for the first time. We are both virgins and both come from a religious background with some pretty strong views on pre-marital sex. Neither of us has been sexually active with anyone beyond ...
A. 4 August 2009: You wont have any STD's, as the name implies....you need to have sex to transmit the disease!
Dont worry about it and just enjoy your wedding night together!
I hope this helps and good luck!... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my fiancee want sex?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 27 years old and recently engaged, everything in our relationship is awesome except one thing: We dont have sex! I want to and I feel i need to, but my fiance never wants to. She always makes some kind of excuse or says s...
A. 4 August 2009: I could write you a list as long as my own arm with reasons why she doesnt want sex anymore; but the only way you are going to find out the real answer is to ask her!
Sex often slows down in a relationship and you may just be going through ... (read in full...)
How can I feel more positive and stop feeling so down?
Q. I'm think I'm really depressed. I've been thinking about life, about how the good guys die. MLK-shot, JFK-shot, John Lennon-shot, Reagen-wounded. I think about how there's no god. I'm the funny guy in school, everyone thinks I'm happy. Reminds me of ...
A. 4 August 2009: I'll explain it to you - the gunman had a very good aim! Stop getting worked up about the past and think about your own future - we all die one day and at least John Lennon did something with his life! At this rate you will spend the rest of your ... (read in full...)
How can I feel more positive and stop feeling so down?
Q. I'm think I'm really depressed. I've been thinking about life, about how the good guys die. MLK-shot, JFK-shot, John Lennon-shot, Reagen-wounded. I think about how there's no god. I'm the funny guy in school, everyone thinks I'm happy. Reminds me of ...
A. 4 August 2009: Here's something that should make you happy - you are young, alive and free to do whatever you choose in life. You have a family and friends who love you. You have a roof over your head, food and water. That is a lot more than millions of people ... (read in full...)
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