A
female
age
30-35,
*iiiiiiiiii
writes:hi i am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 :] we've been together for 6monthsi met his family and we're very close to each other now. but i have a problem. i lied to him he know that I'm 19 too.. his family trusted me so well but im afraid to tell him the truth because i dont want to let him go.. i did that because i dont want other tease me that " you are still a kid, play first" even though im 16 my head is mature enough to understand everything .. im afraid every time he send me up home after bonding together in there house because maybe one day he will know my secret from my family, i dont know what to do and im going to say without getting mad too hard at me :( im planning to tell him when im on 18 already but it is 2years from now :( so he cant tease me a kid :( that im too elder enough for him and it is not a game :( he knows everything in me except of my real age :( what should i do? :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SexDrive1ohhh1  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 The foundation of any relationship should be honesty. If there is no honesty from the beginning, you are only looking for problems. I think you should tell him your age, explain to him why you thought you had to lie. He will probably laugh it off, and say that its ok. But if you let this drag on until you are 18 - it will only get worse and he will never trust you again!
Goodluck!
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 "even though im 16 my head is mature enough to understand everything"
Except, if your head was mature enough to understand everything you wouldn't have lied about this.
You need to tell the truth. Living a lie is no way to carry on a healthy relationship.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 I think you have to tell him now I'm afraid - you have lied to him for 6 months and if you wait another 2 years it will only be worse. And you would have to celebrate a fake 21st birthday if you waited for 2 years - I'm not sure if you make a big deal on a 21st birthday in your country like we do here in the UK, but if you do then you couldnt hide this! He would want to know why your family are not putting on a big 21st party for you, why you have no cards with 21 on them etc etc.
Lying in a relationship is wrong, even if you are only doing it so you dont lose him. You have to tell him now and hope he forgives you. If you explain your reasons to him like you have on here, he might be ok with it and you can stay together. You have left it a long time though, the longer you lie to someone the worse it gets.
Lets hope for your sake that he is a forgiving and understanding person!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): Heyy...
I think the only thing to do is tell him the truth it was really wrong what you did and I can imagine that he's going to be hurt but the more longer you leave it the less he will trust you when you tell him and the more mad and hurt he's going to be.
You need to get over your fear of losing him because bringing up a lie like this there is a risk whenever you tell him the truth that he will leave you, more so if you leave it 2 years. You need to come clean with him ad accept that if he's going to leave and learn from your mistakes.
Maybe write him a letter telling him and also saying that he knows how mature you are, it doesn't change who you are and how much you care about him and know how much of a mistake it has been.
This isn't fair on him and it will only continue to eat you away inside
You need to tell him as soon as you can 6months as it is is already an extremely long time for such a serious lie
Good Luck
mail me what happens as i'd lke to know how things turn out
x
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A
female
reader, charchar17 +, writes (14 May 2009):
 babe you should have told him the truth .... btu i an understand were your coming from .. i say tell him the truth and if he love you anough he will forgive you x
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