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I know I'm ready for marriage, but logically am I too young?

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Question - (19 May 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 23 May 2009)
A male Canada age 30-35, *FC_FAN writes:

Hello, im 18 years old and my girlfriend is 20 we have been together for a long time now, and she and i have been talking about marriage i know im ready for it and i know she is too.. but logically am i too young?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009):

I must have been inexperienced, stupid, immature, childish, uneducated, underemployed and what ever the hell else.. i married at 17 after only 2 years together.. and 5 years later we are still very much together. I have my Degree, as does he, a secure job, which brings me alot of money - and that's just my job, our own bought house, our own cars, we fly all over the world. All of that and i am only 22, he's 24. i think ur a bit out of line q1605.

To The Poster: If you want to get married, think long and hard, both of you. Believe me, it's not a decision to be made lightly, it's not cheap and should you fail to make it work, you will be divorced and starting all over again. Good Luck

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2009):

k_c100 agony auntThe way I see it is that at 18, so many things in your life are going to change within the next 3-4 years, it would be irresponsible to get married purely because you dont know where your life is going to take you. Q1605 is pretty much right, even though he is a little harsh in the way he says it. Life can throw so pretty big things at you in your late teens/early 20's and it is hard to figure out what is going on in your own head let alone have to worry about someone else.

What if you get offered your dream job but it is miles away and she doesnt want to move there? Are you ready to give up on your dreams to make a marriage work? What if the same thing happens to her - are you willing to follow her wherever she goes? What if you grow apart over the next year or so? What if she wants to study full time - can you support her (and vice versa)? There are so many things that could happen - life is very unstable at your age and there is not much that is guaranteed in life apart from change will happen!

Take me for example, I thought I was ready to settle down with my boyfriend about a year and a half ago. I was just finishing uni, planning on getting a job and moving in with my boyfriend. We moved in together, all was well for about 3 months until things went bad in the relationship so we split up. Now we are apart, I have just lost my job and possibly could end up moving to a different part of the country. If you asked me this time last year if I could ever imagine that happening I would have said "no way" as I thought at the time I would get a job and live happily ever after with my boyfriend. That was pretty much a lack of maturity there, I clearly was wrapped up in my own little world where I thought everything was going to be great. Life isnt like that, and only maturity and experience can show you the real world.

So give it a few years, make sure you are your girlfriend finish college/school (or whatever it is your doing), get a good job with prospects and one that is secure. Then you can think of settling down - if you try to settle down now you could end up placing too much strain on the relationship/marriage if one person doesnt fill their end of the bargain. My relationship went bad purely down to financial reasons, we would just argue about money all the time. So you need to both be financially secure before you can think about marriage, and you also need just a little more maturity.

What is the rush to get married anyway? You love her, she loves you right? So you will still be together in a few years time, and you can get married then! She isnt going anywhere so why do you need the piece of paper that says you are married? Wedding are pretty damn expensive too, why not start saving now and you can give her the wedding of her dreams in a couple of years time? If this is true love then it will last forever, and it wont make a difference if you get married now or in a few years time.

I hope this helps!

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A male reader, TaoTang United States +, writes (19 May 2009):

TaoTang agony auntI will probally wait 4 to 5 years before i propose and i have amazing ideas for it but anyway i want to get married in my mid 20s

22 at the least

Wait at least intell you can drink alchol legally

Im only 15 i suggest you listen to q1605 he sounds like he knows what hes talking about

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