A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: When girls have a bad experience their first time in sex, or regret having sex for their first time. Do they later on lie to their future boyfriends about remaining a virgin? Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): I'm a virgin female, 18+. No, never lied about it. As I get to know men, I let them know my culture doesn't condone pre-marital sex. Anything but a hug is off limits.
If she seems really eager to jump into bed with you, etc. She may not be one, especially if she is at least 18 (apparently she was waiting is something special), etc. And if commitment or any glance of the future hasn't been brought up - she may not be one, but I'm unsure of the motive on lying unless she feels you'd just like her more (which is strange, considering everyone loves experience). These day being a virgin is a handicap in the dating field unless you're dealing with marriage minded guys.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): yeh some do. me personally, i haven't but i know girls who have.most of them do it becasue they like to think there a virgin if it didn't 'go to plan' the first time. having sex for the first time - usually this applies to girls but can also with boys too- its very memorable and will stay with you forever. if it was bad they like to forget about it so they pretend it never happend.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Yes some girls do lie. And so do some guys. There seems to be this idea among a lot of people these days that the truth doesn't matter as long as they don't ever intend to do it again.Too bad that memories don't disappear, other partners don't disappear, and STDs can be years before showing up on tests.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 May 2009):
I don't know. I never lied about it. Maybe because I'm a kind of person who rather take my time with most things in order to NOT regret it later.
I however would guess that a lot of women will lie about their sexual past, just like men do.
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (19 May 2009):
Sometimes. There is a lot of hypocrisy and mixed messages in our culture about female sexuality. On the one hand we are supposed to be progressive and liberated, with women (now) having the same rights and freedoms as men. Yet at the same time we continue to judge women for their sexual behaviour and label them sluts etc. The two are contradictory, so it's no surprise many women end up feeling they have to hide information.
The important thing is to not take it personally, and let it erode your own sense of confidence and trust. From a female perspective it's a very easy lie to tell, with good reasons to tell it, and hence shouldn't be judged too harshly. It shouldn't be a big deal, in other words.
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (19 May 2009):
I think girls usually lie if they have been with many men! If only a few then i think its normal for us girls to be honest, ive always been honest, even if your first time was crap it was an experience and we all learn from them....some girls may lie about being a virgin as they think if they say there not they might come across as a tart, but having sex is normal and i think people should just be honest!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): I did, and believe it or not I know of other girls that have too. Its not because I'm easy or anything but because I made a mistake when I was 15 and drunk... When I actually got serious a year later with a guy, I had to lie about it because I knew how much it meant to him and I wasn't going to be like "oh yeah I had sex with some random guy at a party and don't even remember". I had to lie not only because that would make me sound horrible and slutty (even though it only happened that ONE time) but also because I knew how much it meant to my bf.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (19 May 2009):
Now personally I would never lie about being a virgin, there just seems no point in lying about something like that. However if a girl is religious, or the guy she is dating has strong views/is religous too, then maybe yes she would lie.
But if there is no apparent reason for her to lie about being a virgin then you might have wonder what else she could be lying about too!
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