A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy a few weeks ago and we have been dating. However, he has now moved to a different town for work. This was planned way before I met him. Unfortunately, I only met him not long before he had to move. He moved there last week and he just came back to visit me yesterday. I really like him and want to get to know him better. However, Im not sure where I stand with him, and what we 'are' exactly. I mean are we a couple? Or are we just dating? Or maybe he doesnt even see it that way!! Whenever we go out, he ALWAYS pays for everything, and hes always hugging me and kissing me and holding my hand in public. Hes always saying how much he likes me and he said it was really hard to let me go the other night when he had to fly back to his new town. Anyone have any idea of what may be going on?I want to talk to him about whats going on with us, but Im afraid I will freak him out because we havent known each other for that long. But i really feel like I need to know if we are in a relationship, exclusive etc, because I dont think I can go on wondering and not knowing. If we arent exclusive than I dont think I can continue seeing him in the way I have, i.e. I woudlnt want to kiss him and hug him etc, and do 'couple things' if we werent realy a couple.When we said goodbye last time, he said he has a good reason to come back now to visit me lots.We got onto the topic of where we would like to go with our careers and lives, like where we would like to live etc. He said he really likes my home town could def see himself living there again. I asked him about his new town hes going to and the town where his family lives and he said he cant really see himself living there. This is all just os confusing. What do yo uthink is going on with him? And how do i bring up the topic of what we are without freaking him out? Even though I would love to give a long distance r/ship a go, im afraid it might be risky since we havent known each other for very long.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (14 May 2009):
 It sounds like he really likes you and you are making a big deal out of nothing! Why do you need to define the relationship? Why does it matter what name you give to it?
This is a very bizarre need that women have and I never understand why - In your case, the guy likes you and you like him. He is willing to fly back from his new town to see you, yet you are unhappy?! Can you not just be happy that you are dating this guy and you like each other? What more do you need?
The reason why he wont have made anything official yet is because he has just met you, and he has just moved away so things in his life are a bit unsettled at the moment. He is not trying to confuse you - he likes you and wants to see more of you. You should be happy with that for now and just wait for him to get settled first before you bring up the "where is this going" conversation. Men hate this conversation so if you can get over your insecurities and manage to not have this conversation then I think you will be better for it.
If you have to talk to him about it then just wait a couple more weeks. You are dating at the moment, nothing more but nothing less. This is totally normal in the early stages of a relationship - you are still getting to know each other. Once these few weeks have passed (and hopefully you will still have been talking lots and maybe seen each other again) then you can bring it up. Just say to him that you really like him and have really been enjoying seeing him, and that you would like to give a long distance relationship a go, if he would be up for it too? Or maybe just bring up the topic of long distance relationships and see how he feels about them - this way you could judge how he is feeling about the situation.
But mostly you need to stop worrying - a lot of girls would give anything to be in your sitation. You have a great guy, who is willing to fly a big distance to come see you, who is a gentleman and who is affectionate. Dont throw this away purely because you need to put a label on your relationship - this is just your insecurities coming out. Put them to one side and enjoy dating such a great guy!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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