A
male
age
41-50,
*oefils
writes:morning,i'm a young guy of 33years old.i have a problem with my girl freind.the probleme is this.i have a fiancee in my own town,but i came in this small town for work almost 8 month now and i find another girl freind.before we started ,i spoke to the new girl that i have a fiancee.and she agreed.after some days she's become jalous she doesn't want me to speak to my fiancee.one day she took my phone and deleted all the messages and photos.that day i was very annoyed.the following day she came and tell me that she pregnant.my probleme is i love the first one to much.i'm planing to mary the firstone. so now i want to help me to solve the problem please.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): from you saying that your girlfriend has deleted your pictures and messages and has decleared she is pregnant it looks like she is doing this to stop you from leaving ask for proof because it looks like she is jealous. Anyway I think you do not deserve your fiancee you have cheated on her! Why would you do such such thing to her! Did she desevre it? do you deserve her after what you have done/ I think you need to have a long hard think about what you have done!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): tell this person to have an ABORTION. i pity that child if ever born.
you messed up and tell to tell you. you are not a young guy of 33 - by 33 you were supposed t obe a mature adult. which evidently you are not.
you cannot possibly love your 1st gf. you were enjoying having sex with the 2nd one while the frst one was waiting patiently and loyally and faithfully for you. your 1st gf needs a real man who will not cheat on her. she deserves better. if you cannot keep it in your pants now how the hell are you going to keep it in your pants when you marry.
both women should just get rid of you. you are cheating both.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (20 May 2009):
 I would just like to warn you that you are going to get some pretty harsh answers on here, the majority of answers will come from people in the US and UK, where having more than 1 partner is very much frowned upon and it is not socially acceptable. I'm not sure how things work in your country - maybe it is different however you will get some pretty angry messages from people on here.
I dont understand why you would want a relationship with another woman if you love your fiancee? Surely she would be hurt if she knew what you were doing? In my opinion, if you love someone you want to be faithful to them no matter how far away they are. And under no circumstances would you start a relationship with another person out of respect for your partner back at home.
You have got yourself into a big mess here and I dont think there is a way out of this. However one thing makes me worried about your situation - you say this other girlfriend is jealous of your fiancee therefore maybe she is saying she is pregnant just to make you leave her? Have you got acutal proof she is pregnant? I suggest that you dont accuse her of this just yet, maybe tell her you will stand by her and support her and the baby. Ask to go to the doctors with her and get her an offical medical pregnancy test (tell her your reason for this is you want to be sure so you can tell your family your wonderful news). If she doesnt want you to go to the doctors with her and she is adamant she will go alone, then I would be very suspicious of her. If she is acting like this then maybe that is the time to ask her if she is really pregnant and would like to see some evidence.
Hopefully for your sake she wont be able to produce any evidence and you will escape this mess you are in. However if she is really pregnant then I suggest you do the right thing and marry her rather than your fiancee. If you have fathered a child then you must do the right thing by the child and its mother, and if this means foresaking the woman you love then so be it. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it.
I have a feeling this other woman may be trying to trap you - if this is true then you need to leave her and quickly. And learn your lesson - dont have affairs! Be faithful to the woman you love and dont ever go behind her back again with another woman. If you love her like you say you do then you will have no problems in being faithful as you wont need anyone else in your life to make you happy.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (20 May 2009):
 Well for starters you need to make sure she really is pregnant she might be saying it so you stay with her, so get her to do a pregnancy test with you, then see if the child is yours. You cant expect to go between two women and not have a problem, you played around and now you have to live with the problems that come with it. If this child is yours then you must be in its life, and so your fiancee will find out and will prob dump you anyway....i think you need to pick who you actually want to be with and then be trueful, and then deal with the situation that is then thrown at you!
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