A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im thinking about having a baby at twenty...too early in life? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 To add on from the first response...
My mother had me at 20. She sometimes talks to me about what she choosed to miss out and stuff.
I think that 20 is too young. You should live your life longer. Experience the world and grow more yourself before having a child for the rest of your life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): Yes. If I had had a baby I would have never had the freedom to do all the things I have done so far in my life. Travel. Skiing. Weekends in Montreal. Trips to Amsterdam. Awesome education I got. Kicked it with musicians. Met my first love (was awesome). Made the amazing friends I have made. Have the most amazing memories and stories to tell my children and grandkids should I have them someday. What stories are you going to tell them?
Kids limit you alot. And if you don't have a good partner who will share the responsibility, it is so much tougher. Not only that, if you are single it is SO hard to meet a guy when you are a single mom.
You are SO young. Your skin is supple. You are at the prime of your youth and your beauty. This is not the time to have kids. This is the time to make the most of your powers and what you have to offer as a woman in order to secure a good life for having kids in the FUTURE.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (16 August 2010):
K_C100 pretty much sums it up. Looking after someone's baby and looking after your own are two different things.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (16 August 2010):
 I guess it depends on your situation:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a child?
3. Do you have a good career with future prospects?
4. Does your partner have a good career where he can support you and the child?
5. Have you finished your education?
6. Do you have a car?
7. Do you have some savings ready to fork out the initial costs of having a child? Like buying all the things you need in preparation for a child?
8. Do you have a supportive family network around you?
9. Are you ready to give up going out with friends, having any money to buy clothes/make-up etc for yourself? All for the baby? You will have no time or money for yourself so you need to be ready to give up a lot for this child
If the answer is YES for all of them, then I would say no 20 is not too young for a child. But if any of those things are missing, then 20 will be too young.
Think about it this way - you want to give your child the best life you possibly can, but is this possible at your age? Or would you be able to provide more for your child, like educational toys, days out, more knowledge and wisdom, a better family environment, if you waited a few years?
Generally at 20 if your life is very stable and you have enough money then having a child is ok. But the reason why most people wait a few more years is so they can finish their educations, get good jobs that pay well (children are SO expensive, they estimate it will cost over $100,000 until the child is 18), and more importantly - so that you are wise enough and knoweldgeable enough to raise a child well. When the child comes to you asking for help with its homework, or wants to know some deep question about life, normally you need a good amount of life experience behind you to really give your child the knowledge and values it needs to set them up in life. And if you have not lived, and all you have done is quit school to have a child, you are not going to be able to give it the rounded, knowledgeable childhood it needs to turn the child into a well-rounded adult.
Have a good think about it, at the end of the day it is your decision and at least you are not like the silly 14 year olds we get on here who wants a baby because they are cute and they want something to love. Think about if you are in a position to give the child the best life possible, or if you need to get a few things sorted first. There is never any harm in waiting, if you have a child at 23/25 you will still be a young mum but at least you will be in a better place in life to handle having a child.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
|
