A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:alright, so im 16 years old, alot of people around me are all having babies or just getting pregnant,plus the fact i looooove babies,i also have a really horrible family life, and sometimes just need to know someone cares about me i know i have all my life still ahead of me but i just feel alone, its such a hard situation but and i know i dont think i could support a child but is the love that baby would give you worth it all.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Get a puppy, hun. You don't need a child now.
And read K_C100's post a few times, she is absolutely right.
A
female
reader, spiderweb  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 No, it is NOT worth it. You're 16 - you're not mature enough to bring up a baby. You may feel like playing doll's right now, but by this time next year (or even next month), you may well have different needs and wants. Think of the baby, which is not a toy. Sorry sweetheart, but get these thoughts of a baby replacing love that you lack from your family, right out of your head. Get a puppy or a kitten in the meantime, and wait until you're grown up before you even think of bringing a child into the world. Babies are hard work and need alot of time, money and caring. You have lots of living and maturing to do before you even start thinking of having a baby. Why don't you offer to help out at a centre for neglected children and babies? This will give you some experience and knowledge of the care children need, and also channel your energies into doing good for little one's who could do with extra care and cuddles from a loving person.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I dont really know what your question is? But any way here is what you need to think about before having a baby:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a child?
3. Do you have a good career with future prospects?
4. Does your partner have a good career where he can support you and the child?
5. Have you finished your education?
6. Do you have a car?
7. Do you have some savings ready to fork out the initial costs of having a child? Like buying all the things you need in preparation for a child?
8. Do you have a supportive family network around you?
9. Are you ready to give up going out with friends, having any money to buy clothes/make-up etc for yourself? All for the baby? You will have no time or money for yourself so you need to be ready to give up a lot for this child
Think about it this way - you want to give your child the best life you possibly can, but is this possible at your age? Or would you be able to provide more for your child, like educational toys, days out, more knowledge and wisdom, a better family environment, if you waited a few years?
The reason why most people wait until they are in their 20's to have kids is so they can finish their educations, get good jobs that pay well (children are SO expensive, they estimate it will cost over $100,000 until the child is 18), and more importantly - so that you are wise enough and knoweldgeable enough to raise a child well. When the child comes to you asking for help with its homework, or wants to know some deep question about life, normally you need a good amount of life experience behind you to really give your child the knowledge and values it needs to set them up in life. And if you have not lived, and all you have done is quit school to have a child, you are not going to be able to give it the rounded, knowledgeable childhood it needs to turn the child into a well-rounded adult.
Think about if you are in a position to give the child the best life possible, or if you need to get your life sorted first. There is never any harm in waiting, if you have a child at 23/25 you will still be a young mum but at least you will be in a better place in life to handle having a child.
Having a baby now will not make your life better - it will only make it worse. You will have no money, no friends, and no future. The baby wont show its love for you for a few years - at first it is just a pooping, eating and sleeping machine that is only interested in the people that feed it. Love is not enough for a child - it needs the support of 2 adults (mum and dad) who are mentally and emotionally ready for a child and the hardship it brings. You cannot give the child all it needs on love alone, a baby needs so much more.
If you love children so much why not think about a career in child care instead? This would mean you can be around children all the time, playing with them and having lots of fun - without all the burden of being a mother at such a young age. I'm sure at 16 there are courses you can go on to study childcare, and maybe you could even get a part time job at a day care centre or something to fit around your studies?
I hope you dont think that having a baby will fix your life, that really is the worst possible situation to bring a child into this world. Babies do not fix anything, they only make things worse as they highlight the cracks in relationships, whether that is with your family or with your boyfriend. The only time you should consider having a child is when you are truly happy in life, and the baby will make everything that little bit better - like the icing on a cake.
A baby needs a settled family, who can raise it in a happy home. A baby would suffer coming from a broken home where mum was unhappy all the time. So please, think of it that way.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, msvee +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Okay I'm not gonna be telling you that it's wrong but I'm hoping you can put things into perspective.
The love the baby will give you is worth it when you're old and mature enough to be fully responsible for it. Spend a day with a baby and you'll understand that what you want will thrust you way in over your head.
You need to know someone cares about you, well babies are kinda selfish. They're babies and there's no way to fast forward time with them. By the time they're old enough to even show you that they really care about you, you're gonna be old enough to understand you could've done that all later on.
Babies really don't solve your problems. Babies should be planned for when you have a stable enough life and want to fully complete it. It doesn't sound like you're halfway there yet, but even so, believe me it's a lot more rewarding to provide your baby with all that you can give, not just yourself or your love, meaning later on in life, or you're just being selfish and ungenerous.
What you need to do is find someone, there are tons of people just as alone as you and need a friend or companion. They're already here and they're like totally instant, able and ready to listen or talk (unlike babies), and also in need of love. Make a friend and as hard as it might seem, it's actually easier than making and having and supporting a baby. Much easier.
I wish you the best!
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 August 2010):
 I know that it seems like a baby would fix all that, but in reality a baby would just isolate you more and cause way more problems. You said so yourself you can't support a child. So what will happen once the baby gets there? If you have no money and the baby was neglected or starving or just generally lacking in care, child services would take him or her away. The only problem a baby can ever solve is what to spend all that extra money on. Babies cost a ton of money, will take away every last bit of free time you have, limit your choices for what to do with your life, and severely limit your options for a boyfriend or husband. You really do not sound ready for a baby financially or emotionally, and you sound like you want one for all the wrong reasons. Trust me, this baby will do nothing to solve your problems, only compound them. You should wait until you're older and stable with no serious problems in your life. Trust me, babies do not solve anything.
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female
reader, Practical  +, writes (24 August 2010):
hey there ..
u are young and sweet and life is ahead of u !
Don't even think about it .. u have what are called" stressors" in your life that would make u think that by being a mom, you will get the love you miss.
Don't .. Don't .. Don't do it please .. I know u feel alone and all but having children is an important responsibility. One should never ever have children out of boredom or loneliness.
Get a pit and really take care of it. A dog will love u or taking care of him and this will not make u feel all alone.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (24 August 2010):
 A baby is a ton of responsibility and very expensive. Who's going to help you out with the baby and support you? You have to be there 24-7 attending their every needs, often having to put your own aside for a crying infant. Feed, change, burp, give a bath, sometimes just hold, and constant doctor appointments. Are you going to get up at 1 am to soothe your baby when you have school the next day? It's not all it's cracked up to be and it's better when your older, married, and have a little experience from babysitting or nieces/nephews/cousins. Have a baby for the right reasons not because every one else is pregnant or has one.
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female
reader, answerfromtheheart +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Please do not become pregnant to fill a void in your life. This is the wrong reason to bring a child into this world.
When you are not financially able to support a child and yourself, you will end up making your life too difficult to enjoy the benefits and joy that a child can bring because you will be too busy trying to support yourself and that child.
Plus I'm afraid that because you are only 16, as time goes by, you will want to experience what other peers your age experience in terms of parties, camping, traveling, and because you will have a child on your hands you will not be able to experience those things.
Once you have a child, you don't live for yourself any more, you life becomes only about your child and how to make them into a good human being. You will miss out on a lot of things that are there to make you into a better human being in order to help your child to become the same.
Give yourself the opportunity to experience young adulthood before becoming pregnant. Don't rush your life so much. Find a person who will be a great father, and someone who is ready to be a father to your child. Because there is nothing better than for a child to be born to two people who are really want that child around and have the opportunity to give him/her their undivided attention and time.
I grew up with very little parental attention and it was so hard to live that way. I want to make sure that I give my children what I didn't have.
I hope you give your desire to be pregnant some really long thought and make the right choice.
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male
reader, Alwayswondering +, writes (24 August 2010):
You need to grow up first. You don't have the adult mentality yet. You are still figuring out who you are. Just because people around you are having kids, does not mean that you have to. It's a full time job. Do you have a job? Does this boyfriend of yours has a job? Are they good jobs? Better than minimum wage? I doubt that. There is a difference between practical and wanting. You may want something, but how practical is it. Like I said, it is a full time job, and at your age, you are still figuring out who you are. Wait until you have a job, and you are with somebody who will not leave you, and equally wants to have kids. You feel alone? You have a boyfriend. How can you have that feeling? Honestly. You are with somebody who loves you, and you love them. 2 years? That's rare for our age. Sorry if I come off cold. But I don't believe in this "beating" around the bush.
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