A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:okay... i told him i like him but he didn't feel the same way. the thing is, i more than just like him and i showed him it didnt bother me that much like i've showed everyone else. i'm breaking up inside, it hurts so much. i go out with my friends every day and try to keep busy and not think about him and i succeed with that but when the night comes and i'm upstairs on my own away from everyone i completely melt down. so what do i do? how do you move on? and i dont want to chuck myself at another guy because no one else appeals to me. i thought about internet teen chat sites so i can meet people? are they safe? does anyone know any safe ones? p.s i dont want to use facebook and msn to talk to my friends at night because he might be online and i couldn't bear that.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (17 August 2010):
 To be honest I dont think chat sites are safe for teenagers, regardless of what site it is and what claims they make about security. It is quite easy for a older man (say in his 40's) to join one of these teen sites, create a profile with a fake age and picture and no-one will be able to prove otherwise. There are plenty of people out there who are like this, and use teen sites to deliberately prey on young girls and boys who are just wanting someone to talk to and a bit of affection. So I think it is wise to steer clear of teen chat sites where you are intending to meet guys, it is not safe at your age!
So what you need to do is give yourself time to get over him. I know this is a rubbish answer but until you are fully over him, no other guy will compare, it will be like trying to put a plaster over a wound that needs stitches. It might cover the gap but wont heal it. So time is the only healer - as each day goes by the pain will get a little less and eventually you will be able to bear it.
As for Facebook and MSN - this seems pretty obvious to me but just delete him? You can delete him as a friend from Facebook and block him from MSN - then you will be able to chat to your friends without the fear of him chatting to you. You wont ever get over him if you keep him in your life through things like Facebook and MSN, so if you really want to move on then just delete him so you can get on with your life.
And try looking at this in a positive light - yes you told him how you feel and got rejected, it hurts and it is a horrible experience. But at least you tried, it is better that you have told him and been turned down than never to tell him at all. You were very brave so well done! Plus it is not like you were in a relationship and then he dumped you, that would be a million times worse.
You are only young and I imagine this will be one of your first experiences with really liking a guy, so of course it will hurt like hell and you will think you will never get over it. But pretty soon he will just be a distant memory and you will be happy being single and hanging out with your friends.
And in the mean time, find things to keep you occupied at night too. Reading might sound boring but not only does it improve your English skills (very good for school and your grades!) it also is a way to escape, getting lost in a good book can mean you escape all your feelings and problems. There are plenty of hobbies you can do indoors that will keep you occupied, maybe try painting/art, watching films, learn how to play a musical instrument.....the list goes on!
Keep telling yourself this will pass and you will feel better soon, and one day you will wake up and suddenly you will feel so much better. But until then, keep on doing what you are doing, you are going about it the right way so just stay strong!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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