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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is there anyone that sees what they believe are spirits within people like I do?
Q. I'm a 50 year-old man that's been diagnosed with mental illness. I don't know if I'm sick or what I have, if what I see and experience is real or what! I often see what I believe are spirits within people so I guess they're hallucinations. I tend ...
A. 15 November 2010: Ok first things first - to YOU, what you see is very real, and no-one can tell you otherwise. However, as the doctors have said before, you have something called "Schizoaffective Disorder" ... (read in full...)
After 3rd date I feel like running for the hills!
Q. I started seeing a guy since Halloween. It's been three weeks and three dates. By the third date, I'm not feeling it, and he has a picture of us saved on his cell phone screen saver... I'm 22 turning 23 and have never dated before. Am I over ...
A. 15 November 2010: If you are not really interested in this guy anymore then the kindest thing you can do is break it off with him. He obviously likes you, but if you dont feel the same then the right thing to do is to end it before he falls for you even more.
Gener... (read in full...)
Do I tell her about this debt?
Q. Hi, I am getting married in 2 weeks and in the past week some things have gone wrong. I bought a new TV and as I was setting it up, it fell and broke and unfortunately the warranty does not cover this, so I had to throw it away :( I haven't to...
A. 11 November 2010: Well first things first:
1. The money you borrowed, is it a loan, or credit card? or something else?
2. Are the re-payments coming out of a joint bank account or your own individual account?
3. Are the re-payments small enough for you to manage or... (read in full...)
Ovulation and how it works
Q. im kind of confused...can someone tell me when ovulation occurs and how it works???...
A. 11 November 2010: Did you use a condom or birth control? Aunt Honesty's advice was spot on, but what she didnt mention is that if you have unprotected sex at ANY time of the month, even during your period - you CAN still get pregnant. As Aunt Honesty said, ovulation, ... (read in full...)
I still suck my thumb!
Q. I'm 19. It's pathetic but I still suck my thumb...a lot. The only time I won't is when my boyfriend helps me sleep, tells me stories or sings. But, when I feel too embarassed to ask or he's too tired and goes to sleep first, I do it and I get ...
A. 11 November 2010: I suck my thumb and I am 23! And have no plans to stop! I know how you feel, when you are first with someone it is embarassing and you have trouble sleeping because you are conscious they might see. But what I started doing is after about a month or ... (read in full...)
Boyfried said he found a skinny celebrity 'hot' and now I feel insecure. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. OK i need help here. When it comes to looks I'll admit it im not happy with how i look (well im not happy about one thing and thats my weight, Im a UK size 22) Anyways I was with my bf the other day and I dont remember how the convo came about...
A. 11 November 2010: I think the reason you feel so bad about this one rather than the other 2 celebrities you mentioned is because she is SO thin, she will be the complete opposite of you whereas at least Kate Beckinsale (while still very slim) has some curves and is ... (read in full...)
I still love him but cant imagine another 6 years with him!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over six years but recently I feel like were drifting apart. We are so different and even my family are noticing it and have told me that as much as they like him that they feel he is holding me back, although I don't ...
A. 11 November 2010: Well based on your age, you have been with him since you were between 16-19. Of course you are going to feel differently - after 6 years going through the biggest changes of your life (from a teenager to an adult, through uni/college, getting a job, ... (read in full...)
Ideas for conversations to get a better idea of who he is?
Q. so im looking for some ideas for conversations with this guy im seeing to kind of gain a better idea of the kind of guy he is- im not talking like general interest kind of things... but stuff with more substance that can truly get to the core of who ...
A. 11 November 2010: What makes you think he is playing you? Knowing about his past relationships isnt going to tell you that, he might have been a great boyfriend to an ex, but then could have got hurt and now treats all women terribly? Or he could go the other way, ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about his obsession with me...what should I do?
Q. so theres this guy i had 2 flings with. and he constantly rings my mums house all the time now and its really starting to piss me off, my mum told him to stop ringing her house and thretened him about my brothers and yet he still rings. this is l...
A. 11 November 2010: Tell him (nicely) that you are sorry but you are not interested and nothing will ever happen between the two of you. Not all obsessions turn to violence, you say he is a nice guy so there is a good chance he wont do anything violent.
Howev... (read in full...)
Why do some women wish they were taller?
Q. The question is easy: why do some women wish they were taller? This is the reason most women wear high heels for example. I'm just wondering why, is it to scare off predators or do they just think taller women are more attractive? Is i...
A. 11 November 2010: I have never wanted to be taller - I am 5"3 and love being little! Only exception is when I cant see over people's heads at shows, movies etc. But would never want to be tall, you have to learn to love what you were born with and there is no point ... (read in full...)
Ideas for conversations to get a better idea of who he is?
Q. so im looking for some ideas for conversations with this guy im seeing to kind of gain a better idea of the kind of guy he is- im not talking like general interest kind of things... but stuff with more substance that can truly get to the core of who ...
A. 11 November 2010: Golden rule of relationships - dont ask about his past, his ex's etc. as this will only end up with you getting hurt, feeling insecure and jealous. DONT DO IT!
His past is irrelevant, what happened in his former relationships bears no impact o... (read in full...)
Is this grounds for breaking up with her for the 6th time?
Q. Am I a bad person? I do have a bad temper to the point where I raise my voice. I sometimes scream when I am angry. I have a girlfriend of two years, I have broken up with her five times in that past, I don't know why exactly. I don't know if it was ...
A. 11 November 2010: To put it simply - she was a rebound for you and you are not at all suited to each other. The reason you dont know why you break up with her so frequently is deep down you know this relationship is not right and you are not happy.
You are havi... (read in full...)
How much sperm is needed to get a girl pregnant?
Q. How much sperm is needed to make woman to be pregnant? Is there a minimum amount of sperm required to make a woman to be pregnant? ...
A. 10 November 2010: It only takes 1 sperm to fertilise an egg. It is estimated that every time you ejaculate there are over 100 million sperm released, but it only takes one of these to survive the journey into the womb & fallopian tubes to fertilise the egg and get ... (read in full...)
Best time to have sex without a condom so she doesn't get pregnant?
Q. What is the best time I can have sexual intercourse without using condom with my g.f without her being pregnant?? I need answers from experienced people.....
A. 10 November 2010: If you have sex without any contraception then there is ALWAYS a chance she could get pregnant, even when she is on her period. There is always a chance that your sperm can swim into the womb or even up into the fallopian tubes and find an egg ... (read in full...)
Why are younger women attracted to older men?
Q. I am posting this to ask for opinions more so than answers. It is my hope that the opinions expressed by people in reply to this can help me to answer my question - myself. What I would like to get your opinions on is this Why do you think tha...
A. 10 November 2010: It depends what age girl you are talking about here. A lot of teenagers (i.e girls under 20) will go for much older men (as in 10+ years older than them) for a multitude of reasons, including:
1. Not having a father figure in their childhood ther... (read in full...)
Will swallowing sperm help me to conceive?
Q. Is it true if a girl swallows sperm can it help her conceive? I was told it helps you get pregnant. Now don't think I'm asking will it get me pregnant I'm asking will it help?...
A. 10 November 2010: No. Think about it for a minute here and you will realise how silly this is - when you swallow ANYTHING (sperm, food...whatever) it goes down the oesophagus/gullet/food pipe (whatever you want to call it!) and this leads to the stomach. Your stomach ... (read in full...)
Internet Dating: We know it's rubbish, so why do we do it?
Q. So, they are both at it again. Who's at it? My two best female mates and they are doing what they both said they would NEVER do. They are both internet dating...again. Why? I sobbed, looking up at the ceiling in hope of some divine guidance ...
A. 9 November 2010: As a former internet dater myself, I do agree with a lot of what you said, and it is full of derranged men, and lots to add to your "huh?" list (love that!) even when you have been dating for a while!
The best one for me was I had been on a few da... (read in full...)
Is confidence really important to guys?
Q. Hey, just a quick question, is confidence really important to guys? Cause i've heard that guys are more attracted to confident girls, but im really shy and I haven't had a boyfriend in ages. How can i be more confident around guys? And is confidence ...
A. 9 November 2010: I know I am not male but all my friends are male so I have a pretty good idea of what they think, plus I am now 23 and fairly well experienced when it comes to the world of dating and attracting men!
I think confidence in women needs to be split... (read in full...)
Is his twin stopping him from pursuing me?
Q. I've heard many times over that if a man likes a woman, nothing will stop him. However, I am wondering if in the case of twins this might be different? Things have been rocky with this guy I speak of on and off, but he gives me the feeling that...
A. 9 November 2010: Well if he knows how you feel and is still messing you around, then I am afraid he just doesnt like you that much.
If he was really into you, wanted to be with you and felt the way you do about him, then he would be chasing you and he would sh... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend trying to get me pregnant?
Q. So I got the birth control shot and the doc told me I had 2 wait a wk. My bf was happy cause we agreed we didn't want any accidents especially when Im younger than him (not ready) and he said he doesnt want kids. I told him, you cant cum inside me. ...
A. 9 November 2010: Sorry but you have to take some responsiblity here! You say you dont want kids, you say you dont like abortion - so why on earth are you letting him have sex with you without protection?!
As CaringGuy said - he is being a typical male. Yes he d... (read in full...)
I never stopped loving my ex, should I tell him?
Q. My ex was in jail for a year. I never cheated on him, and never lied. I met someone during that time, and told him I couldn't deal with the jail thing anymore. We ended on bittersweet terms, and lost contact. I kept all his letters/drawings...
A. 9 November 2010: Sorry but the answer is no - no good can come of telling him how you feel. You are only wanting to tell him for purely selfish reasons - you want to get it off your chest so you feel better. But it will only end up badly if you do say anything, ... (read in full...)
What can I say to engage her in conversation?
Q. Ok so I asked this question a couple of days ago but I didnt get any responses so I figured I would ask again so here it goes... I know this might sound like I am shy but I am really not that shy. I have a calm personality but I am not afraid to...
A. 8 November 2010: Add her on Facebook? Or find out if she does any after school activities and then you can join?
Walking up to her when you have no shared classes and only pass in the hall is a bit weird - she wont appreciate being randomly hit on by some guy in t... (read in full...)
She's had sex with her friend before, now he wants to meet her to "catch up" and this bothers me. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. All is grand. She used to have a best friend, a guy, who she maintains she was very close too. One night, they had sex, she insists it was a mistake, 'a complete one off' and tha...
A. 8 November 2010: I think it is ok for it to bother you, it is natural when presented with the idea of your partner meeting up with someone they have been intimate with in the past.
However there is a difference between something "bothering" you and then putting ... (read in full...)
Is his twin stopping him from pursuing me?
Q. I've heard many times over that if a man likes a woman, nothing will stop him. However, I am wondering if in the case of twins this might be different? Things have been rocky with this guy I speak of on and off, but he gives me the feeling that...
A. 8 November 2010: No idea I'm afraid. Ask the guy you like - thats all I can suggest.
There is a possiblity that his twin may be influencing his decision, as family is important and if your family doesnt like the girl you like, then that is a problem.
But the... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my good friend but I don't want to go against my boyfriend's wishes
Q. Hello Cupid. I have a seriously problem. I am stucked up between my best friend and my boyfriend. i once had a facebook account. However once i met my better half he told me to cancel it. i did it since i did not feel the need to keep an account ...
A. 8 November 2010: Sorry but X is not a good friend - he is just a guy who is in love with you and wants to see pictures of you. This is NOT friendship! If he was a friend, he would have kept in contact with you regardless of your boyfriend, and would want you to be ... (read in full...)
Growing up query for the Agony Aunts!
Q. Hey Aunts I kind of have a few questions, a bit awkward but I literally had nowhere else to go. I have no mother I could ask about these kind of things and I'd have to ask my dad to go to the doctor and he'd get all overprotective and want to know ...
A. 8 November 2010: Ok I'll try and answer your questions in order:
1. Periods
You are not actually mid-way through puberty until you are about 15/16, no matter how young you are to start puberty. So having irregular periods even into your early 20's is very normal. ... (read in full...)
We have just found out we are far off cousins, is this wrong?
Q. I am very busy guy having troubles in business and studies.. And once in my life i found the person I could relate and who'd understand my feelings.. We then feel in love.. She was real close to me.. And we've now been together for about 3 yrs.. ...
A. 8 November 2010: It depends how "far" cousins you are - if you are 1st cousins then this is wrong and is very likely to mean your children will have birth defects.
However if you are more distant than 3rd cousins, or are only cousins through marriage rather t... (read in full...)
Does he fancy me? I hope not
Q. One of my guy friends fancies a girl, and, as usual, me and loads of the other girls have been trying to get him to tell us who. One of his friends has been joking that it's certain girls who we know it wouldn't be, or at least presume he wouldn't ...
A. 5 November 2010: Well for now dont do anything - there is a chance it might not be you so dont say anything otherwise you might end up feeling embarrassed.
And if it turns out he does like you, and asks you out - then, when you are both alone, tell him the trut... (read in full...)
When you go out with someone, do you have to have sex?
Q. I know, the question sounds silly. I was just wondering, when you 'get together' with someone does it always have to get physical? I don't mind kissing and stuff but it seems that there's a lot of pressure for teenagers to have sex as soon as...
A. 4 November 2010: It doesnt have to get physical, there are many elements that make a good relationship and the physical side is only one of them. And at your age, it is a good thing if it doesnt get physical!
So dont worry about sex, you will know when the time... (read in full...)
Good age to get married?
Q. what age would be a good age to get married?...
A. 4 November 2010: While age is a factor, I dont think it is the most important thing to think about when deciding to get married.
Read this question as a start - to me this is the typical situation (from a male perspective) that will almost always occur in 99% of y... (read in full...)
Is wrong to have a boyfriend but to practice sex with a friend to get ready for boyfriend?
Q. I have a boyfriend now but one of my guy friends wants to be friends with benefits. I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend but is it wrong to have a friend with benefits to practice for my boyfriend?...
A. 4 November 2010: Quite simply, yes it is wrong. It is cheating and would hurt your boyfriend, meaning that he would probably end your relationship.
How would you feel if you found out he was having sex with another girl and his excuse was he was "practic... (read in full...)
Admit it guys, you're fantasizing about the girls in porn, the rest is just excuses
Q. I have opinion's I’d like to express about male sexuality. Porn. I understand that not all girls have an issue with it, just as some guys don’t watch it. I often hear of guys feeling like they have to hide it from there spouse. "what they don’t know ...
A. 3 November 2010: Ok in brief - this is the reality with 99% of men and porn:
1. It is fantasy and they are well aware of that. They know the boobs are fake, the pictures are airbrushed, the movies are enhanced in post production, the lighting makes the girls lo... (read in full...)
Controlling parents refuse to let me move out?!
Q. I'm 21 and have been living at home this whole time. I've wanted to move out before, but never had the means or options to do so. I had gotten a bit desperate to move out because my parents are too controlling and they act like children sometimes. ...
A. 3 November 2010: I agree you should just move out, you need to do this for your own sake. But dont just leave a note - that is wrong. And lying about who you are living with - again that is very wrong. Here is what I think you should do:
1. Pack up all your stuf... (read in full...)
Which family should I work for as an Au Pair?
Q. I need help. I have been offered some Au Pair jobs, but i'm not sure which family to work for...I'll tell you about the ones i have heard back from. Some of the families haven't wrote back with all the details yet... One of the families is Ameri...
A. 3 November 2010: So let me get this straight:
1. You get upset when children misbehave (which ALL children do because this is the nature of children)
2. You cannot cook
3. You only want children that are easy to look after
4. You are not comfortable doin... (read in full...)
Should I be worried he thinks another girl is fit or is he just being a boy?
Q. I read a text on my bfs phone [I know I shouldn't have] and it was talking with his male friend from college about this fit girl from their college [I go to a different college to him] and my bf was agreeing she was fit etc. Should I be worried or ...
A. 3 November 2010: He is just being a boy. I'm sure when you are with your friends and one of them points out a hot guy, I'm sure you would agree and say "oh yeah he is hot". Same goes with celebs - I bet you are happy to say if a male celebrity is "hot". It does not ... (read in full...)
Will I have to pay child support if my pregnant girlfriend leaves me for her ex?
Q. Me and my current girlfriend got together shortly after we broke up with our ex's. She had sex with her ex the day before he broke up with her, and we had sex every day for about two months after that, with me inducing her period for a short time ...
A. 3 November 2010: Basically if the child is yours i.e. if the DNA test proves you are the father, then yes you have to pay child support regardless of who the mother is in a relationship with.
You chose to have sex with her, and regardless if you wanted to get h... (read in full...)
I am in a committed relationship but there have been so many other guys, have I done something wrong or has the situation caused me to act this way?
Q. i am typing this question as i couldn't find a proper answer,plz somebody help me. i am in a commited long distance relationship since 1 year 4 months.i have messed up very badly.i really love my bf and even he loves me a lot but now i have created ...
A. 3 November 2010: Look this really is quite simple - you think you are in a committed relationship but you are NOT, the definition of committed is to totally dedicate yourself to one person, to put all your efforts into that one person and your relationship.
You a... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want to hang out if she has a boyfriend?
Q. My ex and I dated for three years (almost), and haven't been in contact for about 4-5 months, except for when I texted her on her birthday a few weeks ago. She flirted and tried to text me a little bit even though she has a bf. The reason we ...
A. 2 November 2010: Well you have not given much information so it is hard to say, plus we are not mind readers so we dont know what is going on in her head! It would be helpful to know why you broke up, if you still have feelings for her, if you want her back, if you ... (read in full...)
Very small penis, now I don't fancy him!
Q. I'm in a bit of a cuffuffle. I started talking to a lovely guy a few weeks ago, we have been on 3 dates and I stayed at his house last night. I'm 21 he's 31. We ended up getting naked and feeling each other. I noticed that when his penis is e...
A. 2 November 2010: There is no need to tell him exactly why you are ending it, he deserves an explantion but not the exact why and how. There are loads of reasons you could give him, here are a few suggestions:
1. We are not sexually compatible and this is a big deal... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have any feelings for me? Or is he just being nice?
Q. My teacher is 24 and started teaching in my school in september (im 15 from the UK). He's not really what others would call 'fit' but i really do like him. I admit to having crushes on teachers before but not like this. And i thought i just ...
A. 2 November 2010: I know it is a scary thought but no-one would blame you, I promise. You are just a teenage girl with a crush - you did not ask him to kiss you, hug you or ask sexual questions. If you told a teacher or senior person in the school exactly what you ... (read in full...)
I was taking my pill a little later than usual last week and now its been 4 days and still no period, is this okay?
Q. This is just a really fast question! I normally take my birthcontrol pill at the same time everyday but last week I was typically taking it a little bit later on than usual , I never missed a pill however. My boyfriend and I during that week h...
A. 2 November 2010: Well how much later were you taking the pill last week? Generally the medical advice in the UK is that if you take the pill within 12 hours of your usual time to take it then you are fine and completely covered. But if it was over 12 hours later ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have any feelings for me? Or is he just being nice?
Q. My teacher is 24 and started teaching in my school in september (im 15 from the UK). He's not really what others would call 'fit' but i really do like him. I admit to having crushes on teachers before but not like this. And i thought i just ...
A. 2 November 2010: I'm really sorry to say this and I know this is not what you want to hear, but you need to stay away from this man and report him right away to your head teacher or head of year - he is dangerous and should not be working with children.
He is... (read in full...)
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