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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is he too complicated?
Q. Hi all. I am 25 and from Australia. My bf is much older than me, he is 42. I have had problems as you all know about his ex wife and there divorce status. Now guys i need your help again. My boyfriend has three children from previous marriage, which ...
A. 13 December 2010: I agree with CaringGuy - it all depends on what YOU want from your life. You have 2 options really:
1. Do you want children? To get married? All the usual stuff people in their 20's expect?
2. Or are you happy just to be with him, never having c... (read in full...)
The dynamics of the Scorpio-Cancer lesbian love relationship?
Q. This question is directed primarily to Scorpio and Cancer lesbians who have experienced or currently involved in a Scorpio-Cancer Lesbian Love Relationship...HOWEVER...I welcome those outside of this category to share insightful information as ...
A. 10 December 2010: Now I am not going to pretend I know anything about lesbian relationships, so I will not focus on that aspect of your question. But what I want you to focus on, is the horoscope element and why the main thing you can do to damage your relationship, ... (read in full...)
Does his facebook stalking mean anything?
Q. Okay so I'm in a long term relationship at the moment, and I'm very happy, we live together, the ususal stuff. However the other day at home I was on the net on my boyfriends laptop- we do share them as his is faster than mine and mine breaks ...
A. 10 December 2010: I will come to the Facebook thing in a minute. But first, to address the issues in your last paragraph:
1. Yes you have been living together for a while, but you moved in together VERY fast so in the grand scheme of things, to be together only one ... (read in full...)
Should I get my ex back?
Q. So my ex girlfriend and I have been separated for over three months now and she's with somebody new, whom she met fairly quickly after we broke up. I miss her desperately and in the back of my mind I always held out hope that her and I would get ...
A. 10 December 2010: Let her go I'm afraid - she has told you she is happy now and she has clearly moved on, so whatever you tried it would not work. She doesnt want to be with you anymore - you cannot force her to want you again.
Part of the break-up process is greiv... (read in full...)
In love with long term gf's cousin
Q. I have been with my gf now for 3 years. The last few months I have been feeling myself less attracted to my gf and increasingly attracted to her cousin. I love my gf, but it feels as though it is in a sisterly way. I dont want to break my gfs heart, ...
A. 10 December 2010: If you dont love your girlfriend anymore then the right thing to do is end it with her - it is not fair to string her along and waste her time when you dont feel that strongly for her anymore. Of course she will be hurt, all break-ups hurt but it ... (read in full...)
Neither of us can move so we can be together!
Q. I have been in a relationship for about a year and half, and everything is perfect between my boyfriend and I. However, we have one problem we live in two different countries. I want him to move to my place, but he wants me to move to his side ...
A. 10 December 2010: Well you have a couple of options:
1. Do nothing and it will remain a long distance relationship
2. One of you has to compromise and give in, if you really loved each other enough then one of you would give up your current life to build a new one ... (read in full...)
Help with mad Girlfiend parents
Q. So the major problem started about a week ago when my girlfriends car broke down, I offered to tow it to her house but she said it was ok. Her grandma and sister then later went and moved it to the gas station just down the street. They called my ...
A. 10 December 2010: Apologize - it is the best way to smooth things over and stop her family from being angry with you. You dont want any bad feelings between you so best thing to do is apologize.
Just say something like "I am really sorry if you thought I was call... (read in full...)
Lowering testosterone in women really seems like a bad idea..
Q. Women: Have any of you ever been prescribed a drug, or known someone who has, that is meant to lower testosterone to help with acne? My dermatologist forced it onto me only recently(I can't remember the name of the medicine.) I was alright with...
A. 10 December 2010: Now I have never been prescribed a drug to lower testosterone to treat acne, but I did use this drug to treat my acne when I was younger: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytetracycline
If you are not happy with your current medication then I sugges... (read in full...)
Should I tell his girlfriend about him? Should I name and shame him on the radio?
Q. I cant get this guy out of my head. I was interested in this guy who I worked with nothing ever happened then one day he grabbed me and we kissed and then nothing happened for a few months and on a night out we kissed again then nothing happened ...
A. 9 December 2010: If I were you - I would just leave it be and move on. The only person that would benefit from 'naming and shaming' or telling his girlfriend is YOU - everyone else would just be hurt.
If he has 3 other girls on the go then one day his girlfrie... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 9 December 2010: ok well, talking about my current partner here (he is 27):
a)he can cum more than once in a session BUT I would say we only have sex more than once in a session on average once every 2 months. He struggles to get turned on again after sex with... (read in full...)
Do online dating sites really work?
Q. Hey guys my question is: Does relationship sites works? I am a girl and I decided to try find someone in a relationship site. After applying a lot of guys have showed up,I was talking with a guy and I liked him,after one week he asked me to hang out...
A. 9 December 2010: Have a read of this article http://www.dearcupid.org/question/internet-dating-we-know-its-rubbish-so-why.html
I think it generally shows the typical experiences of people using dating sites, in my case it has been good but in other people's... (read in full...)
Should I follow my sister's plan and get away from him?
Q. Hi. I hope there is some advice you guys can offer me. Ive been with my boyfriend now for nearly 2 years. We were kind of set up at a party and one thing lead to another. We really began to like each other. After 3 months of meeting. He asked me ...
A. 9 December 2010: I agree with your sister - her plan sounds like your best option and you need to get away from him.
You have to think of your baby's wellbeing now, and it is not safe for you to be around this man. You should really report him to the police f... (read in full...)
Wanting more...
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for the past 6 months, he is a great guy but i find myself wanting more than what he wants. I have had a rough childhood and my dad was an alcoholic and never had a relationship with him, therefore i have a problem ...
A. 8 December 2010: Well sorry to say this but if he cant even bring himself to meet your family or do more things together like going on trips then he simply is not ready for a relationship and cannot give you what you need.
Any time spent with this guy will be ... (read in full...)
What should I say?
Q. Ok, So the other Week I went round my friends house, and I met this girl. At the time, I really liked her, and apparently she liked me. When I got home, I went on my PC and went on FaceBook, and there was a Friend Request on there. So I added her ...
A. 8 December 2010: It might be easier to do it in person (and girls much prefer to be asked out face to face!) - so maybe ask her to see a film with you, or go for a walk if the weather is nice. Then while you are out together just tell her you really like her and ... (read in full...)
Wanting more...
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy for the past 6 months, he is a great guy but i find myself wanting more than what he wants. I have had a rough childhood and my dad was an alcoholic and never had a relationship with him, therefore i have a problem ...
A. 8 December 2010: If he is not mature enough for a real relationship then you cannot force him to be ready - he has to want a real relationship in his own time. So by staying with him you will just make yourself unhappy, you will be waiting for him to give you what ... (read in full...)
After 2 rows we split, now I want him back!
Q. i was with my ex for just under four months, and in the last week we rowed twice because of other people lying and this, a couple of days later resulted in us breaking up. We were having, what was our second row of that week, and the second row of ...
A. 8 December 2010: Well how does he feel about this? Does he want to get back together? Or is he out there sleeping with other girls?
If he has already moved onto other girls then he is clearly not bothered about you or your relationship, so the best thing for you ... (read in full...)
Is he using his injury as an excuse to leave me?
Q. i have been going out with this guy for more than a year he has a bad circulation in his leg as was injured by a motorbike accident years ago everything was fine although we had some problems as he seemed to be very distant and i always had to ask ...
A. 8 December 2010: Move on I'm afraid. He told you that you have no future with him, and he has stopped answering your calls - he has broken up with you and does not want to be in your life.
Just accept that he is not the one for you and move on, he is not worth wa... (read in full...)
Will stopping masturbation make me feel more horny?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 weeks now, and I notice that sexually she has so much of a sex drive. I, on the other hand, am one to want to do these sexual things but i noticed whenever we manage to at least make out, i may get somewhat ...
A. 8 December 2010: Well at such a young age your hormones are in no way settled, you have only just begun puberty so dont expect your erections to be 'fully functioning' just yet. Let me just say this and get it out of the way - you must know that what you are doing ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. pls help me out, am a 17 years pld virgin and my boyfriend put his hand inside me which really hurt me and later i saw blood coming out. my question is ,am i still a virgin? pls i need answer urgently.thanks...
A. 8 December 2010: Yes you are still a virgin - you only lose your virginity when a penis enters your vagina.
The blood sounds like it could have been your hymen breaking or just your boyfriend being too rough with you (if he put a whole hand inside you then thi... (read in full...)
My ex is ruining my current relationship!
Q. my ex is going to end up ruining my current relationship because she fucked with my self esteem my current gf brought up a threesome today and i was all for it but at 1 in the morning i woke up at 1 and was and am freaking out now what if she gets...
A. 8 December 2010: It is not your ex that is causing you to be insecure about a threesome - this is perfectly natural to feel this way and 99.9% of all other men would feel the same way.
Why? Because your girlfriend has asked to have sex with another man/woma... (read in full...)
Do women really like one night stands? Is "new" sex more of a turn-on? Or, is the sex better after you've been married?
Q. The conventional wisdom seems to be that sex for women is more emotionally involved than it is for men. The gist of this seems to be that women like sex better when they're in a committed, stable, loving relationship. Yet, I see a lot of posts by ...
A. 8 December 2010: Ok to answer your questions in order:
1. I do think that the posts on here only represent a small percentage of the population. I personally am a 23 year old female, living with my partner and we have been together for 15 months now. My desire for ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 7 December 2010: You are totally right to feel this way - she has no idea about the male anatomy and clearly does not understand how the penis works!
However I dont think she is comparing you to an ex - I think simply she just doesnt understand enough about se... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to let him know, I like him?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I have always read peoples problems on this website and have decided I need your help. My love, John of 1 year, 9 months left me last week to go for an expedition in California, hiking to Arizona and then hiking all the way ...
A. 7 December 2010: Look - you need to sort out whatever it is going on with John before you think about another man because you could end up hurting lots of people. So here are your 2 options:
1. Decide that it is over for good with John and there is no going back... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself from losing all hope of ever finding my Prince Charming?
Q. I'm 20 years old and only a year from graduating college. I am the epitome of a hopeless romantic. My bookshelf consists of piles of historical and contemporary romances, love poems and fairy tales. I spend my Friday nights watching romantic ...
A. 7 December 2010: First things first - get your head out of these books and films and wake up to reality. There is NO such thing as prince charming, or Mr Darcy. You will never ever meet a man who comes close to one of the FICTIONAL characters - so any man you meet ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my English teacher 18 years my senior, and I can't get over it!
Q. okay, so this is quite common on this site i hink.. I've seen similar questions around.. but anyways, I'm a 16 yr old high school student, and I'm just about to finish my final year next year. there's this teacher who comes in occasionally as ...
A. 6 December 2010: As I'm sure you know, crushes on teachers are perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with it as long as you leave it as JUST a crush. I'm sure you are well aware that if you tried anything with him he would lose his job, have a criminal record ... (read in full...)
I have to choose either the private school or the top state school. I have no idea which one to choose. Help!
Q. I am a student in the UK and I have been studying at my school for 4 years already and I will finish my GCSE in this year. My problem is I don't know where to go for sixth form. I can't go back to current school because it is not suitabl...
A. 6 December 2010: Well what are the stats for students getting into Oxbridge from the private school? Do you even want to go to Oxbridge?
Look, this is your future and I can tell you know that all the people you know and think you love at the moment will not be i... (read in full...)
A 22 year old and a 16 year old??
Q. I'm 16 and there's this 22 year old guy I started talking to over the internet... At first I was experimenting with talking to older guys because I was curious to see really how much different it'd be if looks and appearances weren't in the process ...
A. 6 December 2010: It is quite easy with online relationships to make the person into a 'perfect man' because all you get are some words on a screen, and maybe the odd telephone conversation so you fill in the gaps - he can be whatever you want him to be!
Being... (read in full...)
My cheating husband--is he a pedophile? a sex addict?
Q. I just found out a few months ago my husband of 19 years has been seeing a girl who is a crack addict/prostitute for 14 years (off and on - whatever that means) In addition to her there have been others, I don't know how many, he refuses to talk ...
A. 6 December 2010: Simply I think you need to write a list of all the questions you need answering, sit down with him and ask him everything. Tell him that you cannot continue in this marriage unless he answers all of your questions - that should show him that he is ... (read in full...)
Why is my Girlfriend Dry during and before sex
Q. Hi Just wondering if any of the readers here have had their partners having issues with lubrication?. Ive been with my partner years now, we have both been STD tested, are monogamous and trying for a baby, so dont use protection. This wee...
A. 6 December 2010: Well she is not young to be honest, and plenty of women start going through the menopause in their 40's, so she might want to go to the doctor and get checked out.
But on the other hand, it is quite normal on occasions to not get particul... (read in full...)
He called me a prostitute! I'm his mistress!
Q. I'm having an affair with a married man. Well today his wife caught us in a hotel and called me a prostitute? Then she started fighting my man and in the midst he told her I didn't mean nothhing to him but a prostitute! Wtf?! I'm a mistress! Will ...
A. 6 December 2010: I'm really sorry to say this but there is not much difference between being a mistress and a prostitute - except you give your body away for free rather than making him pay for it.
All this man wants from you is sex - nothing else. He knows he... (read in full...)
Will our babies be affected since we are cousins?
Q. Tami and I are gonna move to Virginia Beach this summer and move away from our family. Since we were young we both been physically, mentally,and sexually abused. We both have alot in common not alot of people understand why we are so close together. ...
A. 6 December 2010: This website should help: http://www.hgc.gov.uk/Client/Content.asp?ContentId=741
But just to summarise their key points:
- the overall risk to first cousins having children rises to about six in every 100 births, i.e. double the risk in the gener... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was nursing her 3 year-old!
Q. I have been dating a new gal for the last several months. She is wonderful in every way. She has a cute 3 1/2 year old son. I was at her house a week ago and she took her son upstairs to put him to bed. It took a long time, so I thought she may have ...
A. 6 December 2010: You are obviously entitled to your own opinion of how to raise a child and when to wean a child - but this is not your son therefore you cannot call the shots on how she raises her son. If she still wants to breast feed him then this is her choice ... (read in full...)
I'm the only single one left in my group of friends
Q. I'm in my mid 20s and find myself to be the only single one left in my group of friends. Everyone I know is already married or engaged to be and I've never even had a girlfriend or even dated for that matter. There's been times where my loneliness ...
A. 3 December 2010: I know this is not everyone's cup of tea but have you tried online dating?
When I moved to a new city where I only knew 1 person, and just started a new job that had long hours - I knew I was not really going to be able to go out much and meet... (read in full...)
I don't want children and its affecting my dating relationships
Q. I am really close to just throwing in the towel. I'll try and summarise as much as I can! My first girlfriend died in a car crash when we were 19. We'd been together 2 years and I know first love is always a biggie but to lose someone like tha...
A. 3 December 2010: It worries me that you would rather be dead than single - does the same apply for children? Would you rather be dead than have children? Is it really so bad if it means you get to have a wife/partner and a family? Surely having a family is better ... (read in full...)
She said it was disgusting for a women to pay a man's bills but she let me pay for all of hers!
Q. Hi everyone, I am a 30 year old guy from London and I have come on here from some honest opinions on my relationship. Now this is quite a long thread but I promise it is very interesting and will be the cause for conversation with your friends and ...
A. 3 December 2010: As I said before - there is nothing wrong with her standing by her opinion and she is right to do so. You need to stop going straight in with the whole principle that her opinion is wrong - everyone is entitled to their own opinions and you can ... (read in full...)
Adoption? Abortion? Or keeping the baby from an unplanned pregnancy?
Q. This isn't a relationship question really. But out of blatant curiosity I was wondering if people out there would share their opinion on whether they think adoption, abortion or keeping an unplanned baby is the best option and why they feel that ...
A. 2 December 2010: Well in my opinion this all depends on the situation. I would never personally be able to give up a child under any circumstances for adoption as you have gone through the full pregnancy with that child, gave birth to it...basically gave the child ... (read in full...)
Hair conditioner question....
Q. Okay, so what's the difference between leave in conditioner and regular conditioner? ...
A. 2 December 2010: Leave in conditioner is exactly that - conditioner that you leave in your hair without washing it out.
Normal conditioner you use after your shampoo and wash it out like you would shampoo.
Leave in conditioner is good for people with very... (read in full...)
I want to be with my ex but I'm stuck with my husband!
Q. Okay. So, I have been married to my husband for about a month, and so far it has been horrible.We dated our Junior and Senior year of high school and then we broke up. I ended up dating someone else for a year and I was absolutely in love with him. ...
A. 2 December 2010: Well you were far too young to get married and had not dated him for anywhere near long enough to make a commitment to him - so this is what you get for being so foolish.
However, you have made your bed and now you have to lie in it. You made vow... (read in full...)
For girls, what's your taste in guys?
Q. I know every girl has diffrent taste in guys but these are just a few questions I can think of off the top of my head that I want to know the answer to 1.Do girls like guys with long hair? 2.Do girls like guys who call them babe or baby? (I d...
A. 30 November 2010: Ok I will try and answer these in order:
1. Long hair can be attractive, it would not put me off a guy. But ONLY if the hair is clean (long greasy hair is a big turn off!), if it suits him (as in part of his style/personality, not just he cant be b... (read in full...)
Is it right to have sex with my girlfriend?
Q. Im 17 years old male!my girlfriend live in my country but im studying in Canada.i wanna have sex with my girlfriend in this year when i wanna go back to my country but my girlfriend is virgin and I dont know that is it right to have sex with her or ...
A. 30 November 2010: Well does your girlfriend want to have sex? Have you spoke to her about it? Because if you are both over the legal age of consent, and you BOTH want to have sex - then there is no problem with you doing so. However, you need to find out if your ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he thinks he was a bad boyfriend! What should I do now?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he was a bad boyfriend and he did everything wrong? erm a couple of months ago our relationship was a little rough because he cheated on me and was texting other girls, i got fed up of it and he got fe...
A. 30 November 2010: Look, he IS a bad boyfriend, in fact he was a terrible boyfriend! You can do SO much better than this loser, he is not worth you spending another moment thinking about him.
Relationships are not supposed to be like this, and you will go on to fi... (read in full...)
She said it was disgusting for a women to pay a man's bills but she let me pay for all of hers!
Q. Hi everyone, I am a 30 year old guy from London and I have come on here from some honest opinions on my relationship. Now this is quite a long thread but I promise it is very interesting and will be the cause for conversation with your friends and ...
A. 23 November 2010: Hmmm this is a difficult one, and I would say that you have BOTH been right, you have BOTH been wrong on certain things. I think trying to make her see that she is to blame for the break-up is just as bad as her trying to claim she has been ... (read in full...)
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