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male
age
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anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have a 2 year old son and we do not live together. We are leaving for vacation in 2 days and I mentioned to her that I would like to leave for the airport at 2:30 so that we are not rushing, and that I will wait until 2:45 and then I am leaving with or without her (btw we missed a flight on our last vacation because we were late). Of course she flys off the handle and says that I don't need to threaten her and I explain that I was not, but that I am leaving without her if she is not ready. Now do I just leave at 2:45 and not go on the vacation and stay home or leave for the airport by myself and deal with her wrath for several days on the vacation? BTW I think she exhibits "conflict seeking" behavior. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am taking my son Thursday morning and will pack for him and myself, so all she does have to do is take care of herself, but I can guarantee that she will not be on time. I am not being dramatic or trying to cause conflict, but I've been here before. We missed our last flight.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Folks, thanks for the responses so far, BUT...my girlfriend as usual has over committed and is working late the night before we leave and has decided to work the morning before we are leaving, so even if I am there and offered to help, she will not be there. I on the other hand have taken off on Thursday morning so that I can get things done and I am not rushing like an idiot. I can pack for my son, but I can almost guarantee that my girlfriend will not arrive home until the last minute and will be late. So my son and I will be packed, but I cannot pack for her or know what last minute stuff she needs to do to leave. She is extremely uncooperative and argumentative.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 September 2010):
 You take the child so she has plenty of time to get herself ready. You do the packing for the child and feed and dress and basically do all the travel prep work. Problem solved! All your girlfriend would have to do is get herself ready, and then you can leave at 2:45 with the child with a clear conscience.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Start telling her you need to leave an hour before you do, then when she's 30 mins late your fine. If she's habitually late, set her down and talk to her about it.
Some people have no clue about how much time you should give before a flight, and just want to walk right into the airport lounge... maybe she's clueless.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (1 September 2010):
 I think you are right in this situation but you have gone about it the wrong way. You have just been a bit harsh and have not explained yourself, instead you have just said "I am going on holiday with or without you so you better get your act together". This is just going to provoke her and annoy her, rather than actually help the situation.
So as AuntyEm has said, try and get her to stay at your house, or you stay at hers that night so you can be there to help. Explain to her that you are a little worried you might miss your flight like last year, so you want to leave at 2.30 to get to the airport on time. Then ask her what you can do to help her achieve this and what she needs in order to make this happen. Be helpful instead of demanding - that way she wont get mad at you! Make sure you are both all packed, that your son is all ready to go and nothing is left until the last minute.
If you do all this, and help her out and get involved in getting your son ready for the vacation rather than leaving it all for your girlfriend to do, then you should be on time and all leaving the house together and happy!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (1 September 2010):
 Have her stay at yours the night before you leave. Help her as much as you can to be prepared to leave early, like helping with her child or packing or whatever she needs. Try to be supportive rather than giving her an ultimatum. Your creating tension before anything has really gone wrong. Telling her your leaving without her is just plain dumb. You need to learn to negotiate better and not be so dramatic.
The evening before you leave for vacation, order out, both have a nice relaxing bath and try to chill. Have the bags packed by the door and all the last minute stuff like making sure the house is secure and that you have your passports or tickets to hand. Then when the alarm goes off early all she has to do is get dressed and go.
Happy holidays!
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