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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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He deletes my comments on FB and likes and unlikes as well
Q. So my ex, (I'll call him Jay) I had an instant connection with him the moment I met him, but our relationship was short lived. He broke up with me because I was "distracting him from his baseball career." (he was a baseball star in his league) Later ...
A. 22 October 2010: Well from breaking up with him (the first time - the only time we had a 'proper' relationship) it took about 6 years for all the feelings to go away. But the main reason it took so long because I kept in contact with him, and whenever he would ask ... (read in full...)
I just don't understand guys!
Q. I don't get it. I met this nice guy at a friend's party a while back, exchanged numbers and now if I have any contact with him its only because I initiated it! The funny thing is I didn't ask for his digits, I asked if he was a member of a certain ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well the red flag here for me is that he "ummmed and erred" before he gave you his number - that suggests he never really wanted to give you the number in the first place. If he was interested in you he would have asked for your number and would ... (read in full...)
Would a guy pick the girl with the big boobs?
Q. embarrassing question... :S would a guy rather a girl with an athletic body, LOTS of muscle, long legs, a six pack, and a good bum but has small boobs (A)... or would he rather a girl with an average or skinny body, with big boobs? both girls hav...
A. 21 October 2010: Whilst I am not a guy, I only have male friends so tend to know a lot about their mindset! And I would say that muscle is generally a turn off for me, especially a 6-pack. Yes men want their girls to be toned, and if the guy is athletic then having ... (read in full...)
He deletes my comments on FB and likes and unlikes as well
Q. So my ex, (I'll call him Jay) I had an instant connection with him the moment I met him, but our relationship was short lived. He broke up with me because I was "distracting him from his baseball career." (he was a baseball star in his league) Later ...
A. 21 October 2010: Apart from the Facebook thing, this sounds very much like a situation I had with my ex. I was with him only for 9 months but over 6 years following that we went back and forth, always meeting up and dating a little bit, then it never working out and ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should tell my parents I am meeting my online friend
Q. I met this guy on a chat room and after 2 months of talking I found out that he was different to other guys on it. I added him on msn as I do to some other people. It was quite a shock when everyone else who I added on the chat room to msn wanted me ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well first things first - how old is he? Does he live nearby or a long way away?
Its good that your friend is coming with you - as long as he is not a lot older than you and your friend is coming along (and will stay for the whole duration... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: When you ask questions like this, you need to be prepared for the answer to upset you. Even if he had said another woman's name instead of his ex, or a celebrities name, you would still be on here asking "why does he like megan fox's butt more than ... (read in full...)
Going on my first-ever date -- at 20! Tips appreciated.
Q. i need help! tomorrow i am going on my first date ever and i have no clue what to do! i am in some serious need of dating tips. for example, what are some topics i can bring up if things start to get awkward? What food should i eat? What should i ...
A. 13 October 2010: I would just say try to go into it with no expectations - the lower your expectations the better!
First of all eating - doesnt really matter, eat what you enjoy. Men like to see that women actually do eat (no-one wants a boring girlfrie... (read in full...)
Teacher I'm crushing on might get fired because students don't like him!
Q. I've been crushing on my teacher for like 2 years now. Before you make a comment about this, let me just say my feelings are under control. I have never shown hints about my feelings towards him and I don't plan to. I'm perfectly happy secretly ...
A. 13 October 2010: There is nothing you can do I'm afraid - if you say anything it will probably give it away how you feel and then you will get him into even more trouble.
Now normally principals will not just fire an employee (teacher) purely because they are... (read in full...)
He's 40, I'm going to be 18..could it work?
Q. I'm about to be eighteen in November and I'm attracted to a man who's forty. I have to admit, I lied about my age. I said I was nineteen and he bought it because I look the part and use a rich vocabulary. Today, I took the liberty to tell ...
A. 13 October 2010: Well it depends what YOU want and what HE wants. If you chose to enter into a relationship with such a huge age difference then you have to be clear from the start what you both want and what you expect from the future.
Starting with you:
1.... (read in full...)
Outfit suggestions for a date?
Q. A younger man (9 years younger) and I are going out on our first “date”. We will most likely go to a park and dinner and maybe something else… Any advice for picking an outfit to wear on a date with a younger man? Any advice for picking an...
A. 13 October 2010: Age is irrelevant here - just dress in what makes YOU feel sexy, confident and comfortable. If you try too hard and wear something you would not normally wear, you will feel uncomfortable and your confidence will not shine through. Whereas if you ... (read in full...)
Can't find a job. Advice anyone?
Q. This probably isn't the right place to ask as this isn't relationship related at all, but I thought maybe some of you could give me some advice. I finished college in July and moved in with my boyfriend over a month ago. The whole time while I ...
A. 12 October 2010: Thats still not enough - there are bars, restaurants, shops, temp workers......you are just looking at the things you want to do i.e. clothes shops. If you need money then you will have to take any job you can find, regardless of whether it is ... (read in full...)
I hate my job, and struggling with love! Help!
Q. i cant stop thinking about these things! this is not completely realated to realationships. im 13, still classed as a kid to some people. i have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and we are going along fine and all the rest. i have a job as a ...
A. 12 October 2010: I cant understand how you actually have a job aged 13 - it is illegal to do anymore than 'light' work until you are 16! And light work is classed as something like babysitting or a paper-round. I think the right thing to do would be to quit - your ... (read in full...)
Can't find a job. Advice anyone?
Q. This probably isn't the right place to ask as this isn't relationship related at all, but I thought maybe some of you could give me some advice. I finished college in July and moved in with my boyfriend over a month ago. The whole time while I ...
A. 12 October 2010: As much as it is difficult to find a job right now, there are still plenty of jobs out there. Where are you looking for a job? Have you tried every single available option?
1. Sign up with ALL the local recruitment agencies in your area, especial... (read in full...)
I need help, I think I'm about to do something very stupid!
Q. I need help im about to do something very stupid (maybe) SO as you imagine im brokenhearted, we broke up 6 months ago, we broke up she says couse i was "mean", i think she just did not love me. We dated for 3 years, she asked several time to ...
A. 12 October 2010: Please please please dont go to her work! She has just got this job and if it is her first professional job, you will just ruin everything for her by turning up at her workplace. She is obviously very focused on her career, and wants to be ... (read in full...)
We didnt manage to have sex but she was still wetter than normal, why was this?
Q. so me and my girlfriend are ready to have sex, catch is, she's a virgin.So I try to be gentle and all and wear condom,because I hear it's sometimes really painful.I try,she cried really loud and I stop because I don't wanna hurt her,so i stop again ...
A. 12 October 2010: If you had a condom on at ALL times when you were trying to have sex with her then you dont need to be worried. This wetness will just be her natural lubricant that happens to all women when they are aroused.
The only way your sperm can get insi... (read in full...)
Am I too heavy?
Q. I've been told i'm skinny/thin but i feel like i need to lose weight. I am 5'7 and weigh 126 pounds or 9 stone. Is this too heavy? Some days i feel ok with my weight but most of the time i feel a bit fat....
A. 7 October 2010: You are not at all too heavy! At your height you will be really quite thin! Your BMI is around 19.7, and the minimum your BMI should be is 18.5. So if you lost any weight you would become dangerously close to being underweight, even if you just lost ... (read in full...)
I am confused about what beauty is!
Q. i was feeling blue so i googled that i don't like myself and i saw someone talking about being depressed so when i saw this website i felt like this could be my escape to express myself; so i decided to sign up so here i am. i have be feeling ...
A. 7 October 2010: Ok it is quite simple - Actresses in Hollywood are paid to be beautiful - just like models. Therefore if you want to be an actress, most people if not born excelptionally beautiful will have surgery to make themselves more attractive hence they can ... (read in full...)
Struggling to concieve.....
Q. Hi, I am young and I want a baby, we have a decent income and a home but i am having a very hard time getting pregnant but I do have a monthly cycle. I am even beginning to get depressed but I am often ok because I do understand that i have time ...
A. 7 October 2010: We are not doctors I'm afraid so we cannot tell you what is wrong! But if you have been trying for a year, then BOTH you and your partner need to see a doctor and they can run some tests on your fertility. It could be you, or it could be him. There ... (read in full...)
Struggling to concieve.....
Q. Hi, I am young and I want a baby, we have a decent income and a home but i am having a very hard time getting pregnant but I do have a monthly cycle. I am even beginning to get depressed but I am often ok because I do understand that i have time ...
A. 6 October 2010: Well how long have you been trying to concieve for? Generally if you have been trying for less than a year your doctor will send you away because getting pregnant can take time, for some people it can happen instantly and for others it can take ... (read in full...)
Does it hurt really bad the first time you do it?
Q. Does it hurt really bad the first time you do it? How do you know you've chosen the right person to do it with? Im kinda unsure so i need help!...
A. 5 October 2010: Well basically if you are unsure about having sex for the first time then it clearly is not the right person or the right time to be having sex!
When you are ready for sex, and are completely in love with your partner, then there will be no feeli... (read in full...)
Why do I still feel sad for my finished marriage?
Q. I just left home of my 2 year marriage, it was so sad to leave my house and my husband, even when he changed the locks on me and I had to call the cops so they convince him to come and open the door for me. Am I too weak or what... I mean, ...
A. 4 October 2010: Well of course you are going to be sad - you are mourning the loss of your marriage and it is going to take some time to get over it. You made vows to this man to love and to cherish until death do us part, you will have gone into the marriage ... (read in full...)
If your fiance cheated before proposing, would you want to know?
Q. Would you want to know if your fiance cheated on you before he proposed...would you want to know before marrying, or would you rather remain "ignorant" if he is no longer cheating? Would you rather have honesty and a "true" relationship, or a rel...
A. 4 October 2010: I agree with petina1 - you need to think about what you would do if the answer was yes, he had been cheating. Would you want to end the relationship? Would it change the way you feel about him? Would you be able to forgive him and learn to trust him ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks if we move into together I should pay double his rent because he has a car!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend now for 8 months, i am 27 and he is 28, and he is very sweet and kind and very caring. Recently, well today I was discussing perhaps moving in together in the future. I am living with a roommate and he is living with ...
A. 4 October 2010: It is really very simple - it is HIS car, he bought it, he wanted it therefore it is HIS responsiblity to pay for it. As you said, you are happy to make your own travel arrangements and will happily use the bus. So he cannot force you to pay for ... (read in full...)
We have only been together for 8 months and I'm worried we are not having sex enough!
Q. This might seem like a strange question to ask, but I'm wondering if I have anything to worry about! Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months, spent nearly everyday together in that time. But the thing is our sex life had dwindled down to...
A. 4 October 2010: There is no point in comparing yourself to other couples - everyone is different therefore there is never "too much" or "not enough" sex. With the exception of NEVER having sex, then whatever works for you is fine.
Your friend and her husband ... (read in full...)
Do you always have a thing for the guy that took your virginity?
Q. Wanted to ask a question toward the women, because i think it happens to them more than guys. Do you always have a thing for the guy that took your virginity?...
A. 1 October 2010: No not at all - my "first" is getting married in a few months and I could not care less, I have absolutely no feelings for the guy whatsoever! I havent even seen him in about 6 or 7 years and horrible as this sounds, I bet I would not even recognise ... (read in full...)
Having issues with his past affair.
Q. Long story short, my boyfriend's "ex girlfriend" (he calls her "friends with benefits but with emotional attachment" aka girlfriend but he refuses to call her that) of three years is just really an unattractive person physically and personality wise ...
A. 1 October 2010: Well this is quite odd! Most girls are always over the moon to know their boyfriend's ex's are less attractive than them, if it was the other way round and the ex was stunning girls are normally super jealous and continually worried that their ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I once had an abortion?
Q. Hi fellas.i need your advice once again.i had an abortion 4yrs ago (6weeks).even my then boyfriend didnt know i was pregnant(i missed my period,took pregnancy test then ran straight for abortion).i found an excuse for leaving my then bf.i gave ...
A. 1 October 2010: Well this is a tough one, but I think most men would want to know if you had an abortion - but ONLY if you are serious and thinking about having kids together.
How long have you been with him? I ask this because if you are still in the early st... (read in full...)
Since I married other women seem more attractive than my wife
Q. My wife and I just got married less than a month ago. I love her very much and we knew each other for a year before getting hitched-which happened very very suddenly. Her and I both are off to a college now and I've been noticing that I find many...
A. 1 October 2010: Well the issue here is that you married too young and are now paying the price for it. There is a reason why people should not get married BEFORE they go to college and University, and that is because during those years that is when a person changes ... (read in full...)
I know I need treatment but I'm terrified of needles!
Q. Hey all, i have a problem, but im too scared to sort it out. I think i have IBS, actually im about 100% sure i have IBS. Ive read numerous amounts of articles on it and symptoms about it. I have almost like contractions or spasms of really intens...
A. 29 September 2010: Just ask yourself this - what is worse, suffering in silence for the rest of your life or taking a blood test that does not hurt?
You had a bad experience when you were young so I understand your fear, but one bad experience does not mean you... (read in full...)
How a crush destroyed my marriage.....what is your opinion?
Q. The excerpt below is a series of narratives I wrote 2 years ago after I developed a life-changing crush on a woman. Since then, this woman moved away, I lost touch with her, I fell away from my wife and had an affair (with a different woman), my ...
A. 28 September 2010: I actually have a lot of respect for you - to find someone who you so clearly loved and adored yet never told her how you felt, and let her go off to be happy with her fiancee, that is pretty amazing. I know exactly how it feels, to have met your ... (read in full...)
How a crush destroyed my marriage.....what is your opinion?
Q. The excerpt below is a series of narratives I wrote 2 years ago after I developed a life-changing crush on a woman. Since then, this woman moved away, I lost touch with her, I fell away from my wife and had an affair (with a different woman), my ...
A. 28 September 2010: That really is a heart-breaking story, I'm afraid I dont have much to offer you based on that apart from more questions!
You said at the start of your post you now have separated from your wife after having an affair with a different woman - ... (read in full...)
Trouble getting pregnant
Q. Why cant i get pregnant? I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 29. We are trying for a baby and have been for the past year. I am healthy and i know we are both fertile as i have got pregnant twice before however i was only 14 the first time so i had a aborti...
A. 28 September 2010: Well really if you have been to your doctor following the miscarriage and have told them you are trying to get pregnant again, they should have done all the relevant checks to make sure you are all ok and there is no problems following the ... (read in full...)
Ugly duckling
Q. heyy well im 13 gunna be 14 years old and well i feel sooo ugly. ive always been the "ugly duckling" i was always teased about my hair and weight.. my friends say im ugly and wen my family say im pretty i think theyre on sumthing.. i fear i will ...
A. 28 September 2010: I think all girls go through an "ugly duckling" phase in their teens, so you really are not alone in this!
Let me tell you my story:
When I was very young (from the age of 4 up to about 10) I was very pretty, a happy little girl and my mum ... (read in full...)
When is the right time to get married? Does a lot of planning go into a wedding?
Q. hey everyone! its been awhile. anyways heres the thing, over the summer i met this one girl at a anime event and we kinda hit it off on the first day and we hd our first kiss the same day we officially met. (we met over FB) and I deeply believe she ...
A. 26 September 2010: Well there is no "right" time as such to get married, and yes LOTS of planning and money has to go into a wedding.
It sounds to me like you are just getting to know this girl so while marriage may be on the cards one day in the future, it defin... (read in full...)
I don't think I should stay with my girlfriend
Q. We've been dating a year and a half or thereabouts, and recently she's moved to a different city, and I'm supposed to move with her but I don't know if I should. She's recently made her facebook completely private, so I can't see photos or commen...
A. 24 September 2010: Well at least you have realised it yourself - this girl is bad news! There is no doubt something is going on, whether she is actually cheating or just spending a lot of time talking to someone she is lying to you and there is definitely someone else ... (read in full...)
Is a 24 year age gap too much?
Q. Am I being unrealistic? Is a 24 year age gap to much? I am 26, he is 50. I've always said to people, age doesn't matter. But that's when I was offering advice to my friends. Now it is a situation that has arisen for me, and I have my doubts! ...
A. 24 September 2010: Well it depends what you want from him. Would you be happy just with him? Or do you want the whole, wedding, kids, grand kids etc?
Because if you would be happy just being with him, and enjoying him for who he is then 24 years is not that bad. How... (read in full...)
I'm 14 my friends think I'm absolutely nuts Is it actually normal to love a 46 yr old teacher ?
Q. I'm 14 and head for heels for this 46 yr old teacher and i've never felt this way about any guy before and hes the head teacher of science so i love going to science haha :P i had him for yr8 science last year and thats how i develope...
A. 24 September 2010: Well first of all yes it is normal to have feelings for a teacher - if you search this site you will see hundreds and hundreds of teenagers just like you who have feelings for their teachers. Some of the teachers are young (in their 20's) and others ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be with any man anymore, not short or long term, just never.
Q. I am reading all the posts here and get kind of jealous, that people go through all these strong emotions. I don't understand whats happening with me lately, but i don't want to be with any man anymore, not short or long term, just never. ...
A. 22 September 2010: Well I'm not sure how soon after meeting these guys you start sleeping with them but that might be part of the problem? It sounds like it is quite quick with you (maybe after the 1st date, 2nd date or 3rd date) - and maybe you are not giving ... (read in full...)
I love him but he lives 500 miles away...
Q. Well basically I'm 13 and I dont know what to do.... I met this guy online and he's really sweet and I really love him and he loves me but he lives 500 miles away in Essex and I want to be with him so badly but I can't because he lives that far away ...
A. 22 September 2010: I know it is hard to talk to parents at your age because you think they wont understand anything, but I'm sure if you just are honest with them, tell them that you have a boyfriend but he lives 500 miles away etc. then I'm sure they will try and be ... (read in full...)
Is it important to find out why they broke up with their ex?
Q. I hate long distance relationships and i promised myself not to have one again.. this one was unexpected and i plan to move hours away to be with her with quitting my job in the process.. We've been talking for a year now and have met a few times....
A. 22 September 2010: I think you will ruin your relationship if you go to her ex and ask him why they broke up - so unless you want to lose her then dont do it!
You are in a relationship with her, you want to move to be closer to her - so I assume you love her? And... (read in full...)
Why are his parents so over protective towards us?
Q. I am 16 and almost 17. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now. I want a baby and so does he... but his parents say and tell use that we cant do anything till were out of college and a lot older. WE are not allowed to do anything, we ...
A. 21 September 2010: Well to be honest they are doing the right thing - they are stopping their son and you from making a huge mistake by having a baby. Teenagers often want a baby due to their hormones raging and think it is a great idea, I remember going through the ... (read in full...)
I love him but he lives 500 miles away...
Q. Well basically I'm 13 and I dont know what to do.... I met this guy online and he's really sweet and I really love him and he loves me but he lives 500 miles away in Essex and I want to be with him so badly but I can't because he lives that far away ...
A. 21 September 2010: Obviously you cannot run away - you are far too young to live by yourself and it would only make the situation worse so you need to forget that idea.
As for the guy you have met online:
1. How old is he?
2. Are you 100% certain you can trust hi... (read in full...)
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