A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 15 and i have been with my 16year old boyfriend for a year and 1month and we are trying for a baby, and i am nearly 2weeks late for my period and i have done 3 test and yet all neg and i am really scerd, i dont want to tell my mum and friends till i no for sure i am, i am always feeling tired, hungry, sickness, back pain, tightness on my belly and i just really want to no if i am or not can anyone help me or give me advise please i really need it as i sed im only 15 and me and my boyfriend want to no if we are guna be a mum and dad!
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Its nice to see where my taxes are going..
Why on earth are you TRYING for a baby?
You think that because you produce eggs and have sex that you're mature enough to raise a human being?
You cant even string a sentence together..
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (18 August 2010):
And Im sure you and your bf have completely thought out the emotional and financial committment a child will be.....right?
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A
female
reader, ssz  +, writes (18 August 2010):
WOW!!! At 15 and you are ready to be a mother??? You are still young, a whole life ahead of you. Why would you want to have a baby when you are still a baby your self? When you are still a teenager everything seems to be easy, and you seem to take everything lightly. Im still a teenager myself so I would know exactly how you feel. If you really love your boyfriend then you will pospone having a baby, for it will put a great strain on your relationship. You are both still too young to commit to something so major. Due to the symptoms you've been having are obviously false alarms, you say you tested 3 times already and its nearly impossible that they are giving you a false answer. Because you desperately want to be pregnant, and you know the symptoms of pregnancy you will continue thinking you are experiencing them. Talk to your mother, ask her how much work it is to raise a child and maybe you will consider waiting. Before you decide to be a mother you need to be sure its what you want, you are ready and will be able to take care of it. Im sure you are still at school and having a baby might drag you back. So please think carefully before deciding on anything, babies are more work than they appear to be. Goodluck!!!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 August 2010):
 The first thing a responsible person who wants to be a mother would do is to make sure she is healthy enough to have a baby. Your first stop should be your doctor where you can ask these questions. You may be anemic and have poor nutrition and that's why you feel the way you do. You may have some underlying condition that is causing you these symptoms. If you don't have a doctor, it is now time to get one. So contact the NHS and get yourself properly taken care of before anything else.
You have to be getting the right vitamins and minerals and nutrition in order to have a healthy baby, if you are not, you may have major problems.
http://www.nhs.uk/planners/pregnancycareplanner/Pages/PregnancyHome.aspx
And I have to say this, if you really were ready to have a child, you would know this already. You simply don't sound mature enough or ready for the immense responsibility of taking care of a child. Wanting a baby isn't really enough to make you a good parent. I don't think you have the resources--emotionally, financially and socially--to be a really good parent just yet. Yes, love is important, but there is so much more involved.
So go see the doctor FIRST THING! Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): If you are that committed to each other, why don't you get married first? I just ask because at your age I would be very surprised if your bf is still around in 5 years' time.
I would argue that if you are not committed enough to get married then at your age, by which I mean with (I presume) no income and a very basic education, why do you want to bring a baby into the world? That is a lifelong responsibility, for both of you.
Perhaps you can't afford to get married? Weddings can be expensive so I can completely understand that......in which case why do you think you have enough money to bring up a child?
Answer: because you won't be paying for it, everyone else's taxes will.
I agree with all the previous posters here, especially the sentiment of please post back because I for one would love to know how you answer the various criticisms here, and also baddogbj's question as well. I would also love to be proven wrong but sadly I don't think that is going to happen.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
I'm sorry, no other words occur to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): I would suggest learning how to use full stops properly before you even contemplate having a child. I know this sounds flippant but the point is that without a basic education you will never be able to provide for a child properly.
Incidentally it should be "know" not "no" if you are pregnant in your OP. I find this extremely worrying that you are considering bringing a child into the world.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Oh so now my taxes will be stretched even further to pay for yet another baby who is the product of two young people who are both too lazy/ignorant to a)finish their educationb)get a job which might pay for a child (you are too young)c)save up until they can afford a child (again you are too young)d)realise they are committing a crime by having underage sexe) go to a GP if they are in need to health advice.Do you have ANY idea of the consequence of what you are doing? Or do you just intend to coast along for the rest of your life expecting the working public to fund your lifestyle as you could not be bothered to. What sort of life can you offer a child if, at your age, you do not even have GCSEs?PLEASE post back. And feel free to correct me if I am wrong on any of the above. However, please don't come out with the usual "my bf works and I will get a job." 16 year old boys do not have sorts of jobs which can pay for a child and house. If you have a child now you will have a very big problem getting any worthwhile qualifications.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I'm sorry but I dont think you are going to get the advice you want from this site, if you are seeking medical advice then go to your doctor.
I personally am not going to give advice to a teenager who is illegally having sex (seen as you are underage) and to someone who is going to be abusing the benefits system here in the UK for the rest of your life at my expense.
I am just deeply saddened how the education system has failed you and now out of my pocket, and out of the other millions of taxpayers in this countries' pocket, we are going to be funding your stupidity instead of spending the money on something useful, like curing cancer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Here we go, another teenage mother who will be relying on someone else to pay for their kid. Do you or your bf rent/own somewhere to live or will you be expecting council accommodation or to live with your parents? How do you propose to pay for this baby if you are only 15 and 16. Perhaps you have many thousands of £ of savings, but I am at a bit of a loss as to how anyone of your ages will be able to earn enough to fund having a child without relying on the taxpayer. Even your basic grammar and syntax is awful, you can't even string a sentence together properly.
As far as advice goes, have you considered going to see a doctor rather than seeking important health information on an internet forum?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2010): Wow. I am not sure if you are pregnant because I have three already and have been having the same symptoms and the tests I take are the same way. One way to know for sure is through a doctor.With that said I want to give you some advice...I was fifteen when I had my daughter. I was not trying and was surprised because it was only one time. But believe me when I say to wait. I love my daughter but if I waited things will be a lot different it is hard. I was not able to give her a perfect life but I did my best. We struggled at times. Just please listen to what I said and wait even if its after high school that will be a lot better. Go out and enjoy yourself while you are still young let parenting wait. Don't think a baby will bring the two of you closer because it wont. If you guys love each other that should be enough to wait. Trust me one of you might resent the other since its a decision you made together. A child is a blessing not something to be brought into this world just because you want a bond. It cost a lot to take care of a child not only that they need love and support. They need your attention more than you may think. Think about how much more you can do for a child if you have an education, a job and a plan.
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