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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Does my teacher have any feelings for me? Or is he just being nice?
Q. My teacher is 24 and started teaching in my school in september (im 15 from the UK). He's not really what others would call 'fit' but i really do like him. I admit to having crushes on teachers before but not like this. And i thought i just ...
A. 2 November 2010: I know it is a scary thought but no-one would blame you, I promise. You are just a teenage girl with a crush - you did not ask him to kiss you, hug you or ask sexual questions. If you told a teacher or senior person in the school exactly what you ... (read in full...)
I was taking my pill a little later than usual last week and now its been 4 days and still no period, is this okay?
Q. This is just a really fast question! I normally take my birthcontrol pill at the same time everyday but last week I was typically taking it a little bit later on than usual , I never missed a pill however. My boyfriend and I during that week h...
A. 2 November 2010: Well how much later were you taking the pill last week? Generally the medical advice in the UK is that if you take the pill within 12 hours of your usual time to take it then you are fine and completely covered. But if it was over 12 hours later ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have any feelings for me? Or is he just being nice?
Q. My teacher is 24 and started teaching in my school in september (im 15 from the UK). He's not really what others would call 'fit' but i really do like him. I admit to having crushes on teachers before but not like this. And i thought i just ...
A. 2 November 2010: I'm really sorry to say this and I know this is not what you want to hear, but you need to stay away from this man and report him right away to your head teacher or head of year - he is dangerous and should not be working with children.
He is... (read in full...)
For the men: Do you count on your wives to look after the house and kids, or do you take charge and help out around the house?
Q. i want to know how many guys out there who work full time are married and have kids. when you get home from work do you spend time with your kids, help with housework, dissapear and do your own thing? i dont mean to sound rude but im just curious ...
A. 1 November 2010: I know I am not male but have mostly male friends so I have a good idea about how they behave in their relationships.
And it normally boils down to this:
1. Man works full time and wife/girlfriend does not = he does not help out much around ... (read in full...)
Is there any way I could combine my militant attitude to a part time job?
Q. hey i would post this problem on dearcupid's sister site careerglove.com, but it looks like the last activity it had was in 2007. anyway heres my dilemma. even though i'm only 16, i've made up my mind in joining the military, i've started fil...
A. 1 November 2010: Ok well as for being a bouncer:
1. You cannot work in a licensed establishment (i.e. sells alcohol) until you are 18
2. Height and weight - one of the main reason for having bouncers is that they are tall and heavy = big and scary. This is off-putt... (read in full...)
I don't know where I am going wrong in this relationship!
Q. Hi everyone; Been with my ex girlfriend for 5 years and been lived together for the past 2 years. Im 26 and she is 22 so we been together since she was 17 and i was 21. While we been living together she left me 5 times but 4 of them took couple...
A. 1 November 2010: This is quite a simple one - you are not doing anything wrong at all, and it is all down to her. And there is not anything you can do to fix this, apart from letting her go for good.
I have acted in a similar way to your girlfriend in the past, so... (read in full...)
How do I know if I am "the one"?
Q. Hello people, I came here because I need a few answers. I'm confused and I really don't know what to do/think... So we've been a couple for 14 months now and so far we have a great relationship. We're both virgins, but recently we started to ex...
A. 29 October 2010: One thing I will say first that will be really good for you - sleep over at his house but DONT have sex. This will be a really special experience for you both, and hopefully will make you feel closer to him and more comfortable about the idea of ... (read in full...)
I am not thrilled about the wild boy's night out before out wedding!
Q. Heyy guys I have a big problem on my hands that i really need some advice on. Me and my other half who have been together for quite a while have decided to get married, the wedding isnt until 2012 but its already being planned however all of h...
A. 29 October 2010: Well you just need to sit down and have a chat with your finace about this, and tell him how you feel.
Bear in mind that because you are so young, I am presuming his mates are around the same age too hence that comment of "shagging someone ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but I'm afraid protection won't work!
Q. dear cupid im 17 yearsold and im thinking of having sex . . . because i think i am ready ,but im scared incase the protection i use will not work when i have sex with my boyfriend. . .i dont know what to do and i hope you can give me ...
A. 29 October 2010: Well the best way to prevent any accidents is to use 2 forms of contraception - birth control AND condoms. Birth control (like the pill) you need to visit your doctor and get hold of it, they will advise you on what will suit you best. For example, ... (read in full...)
I’m trapped between three guys with no way out
Q. It seems like a life time ago but it was merely two years when I fell in love for the first time with my dream boy (Boy N), however when my best friend turned on me and told him I didn’t run away I started to talk to him. He showed little interest ...
A. 28 October 2010: Easy. Just forget about all of them. Tell Boy L that you are not interested (remember how you wished Boy N told you how he felt - you should do the same for Boy L to save him any further hurt) and that you want him to stop calling you and talking to ... (read in full...)
How can I make my parents understand that I am in love?
Q. (I'm 17 and my girlfriendf is now 18, we're each other's 1st love) I'm EXTREMELY annoyed with my parents! Why? Simple they keep on saying that S is my "friend" and that I don't love her I only like her -.-, if I liked her why would I give her a HE...
A. 28 October 2010: Ok, just to try and help you understand your parent's perspective here; yes you can find love anywhere, but the problem is that they are struggling to see how you can be in love over the internet, because an online relationship is only an exchange ... (read in full...)
After we broke up I was so angry I went to his mum and told her everything! I know this was a terrible thing to do but I still want to be friends
Q. My boyfriend and I of a year and a half just called it quits 2 days ago. I feel a sense of anger but I still can't get the sadness out. I told him I still wanted to be friends and I know he agreed just to be nice. So last night I did something ...
A. 28 October 2010: I'm sorry but why do you want to be friends with him? Why do you need such a dirt bag in your life?
What you did was wrong, but understandable. But you must know that she will NEVER be on your side, that is her son you are talking about and as m... (read in full...)
Posh doesn't mean rich!
Q. Today I went to a University open day. As to be expected a lot of people from up and down the country went along too. I'm from London and though I knew I probably sounded 'posh' in comparison to the other possible students having a look around, I...
A. 28 October 2010: To be honest you shouldnt worry too much about this, there are only a few idiots from "up north" who hate southerners for no real reason other than that is the way they were brought up. And same goes for there being a few idiot southerners too who ... (read in full...)
Should I keep my baby? It's all up to me....
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and now im 4 weeks pregnant. Im 19 years old and I don't feel I'm ready to be a mother. I want an abortion but I'm scared to kill my baby, most of all, I'm afraid he won't be there during and after the ...
A. 28 October 2010: This is a decision YOU have to live with for the rest of your life so you have to be 100% sure of your decision. All we can do on here is offer personal opinion, so always remember that. What is right for someone on here may not be right for you, so ... (read in full...)
How common is it to see women that resemble porn stars in reality?
Q. I got a question its kinda weird.. Minus the girls with boob jobs, Is the natural breast in porn really what most girls breast look like? How common is it to see pornstar material in reality? Just wondering.. its not that its important to me, i ...
A. 28 October 2010: Only a teenage boy would ask this sort of question!
Basically it is almost impossible to see a girl who looks like a porn star in reality, and even the 'real' porn stars dont look like porn stars if you saw them walking down the street. What you... (read in full...)
How do I put on weight and make my boobs bigger?
Q. pls help me Im too skinny and my boobs are very small. Im 17 years old and i think that im never gonna get large boobs, my confidence has break down in pieces pls help how to get large boobs and how to gain weight pls do answer ...
A. 28 October 2010: Well generally when you put on weight, your bra size tends to increase too - so that is some good news for you!
What are your eating habits like? Generally eating more will help you to gain weight, so try the following:
1. Eat as a MINIUMUM 3 t... (read in full...)
How do I handle my boyfriend's mother? She's driving me crazy!
Q. I've been with my bf for 1.5 years and we've been living together for 4 months. He's the only child and lives with his parents. At first I didn't have a problem with his mom, but as time went by i realized that there are some annoyance cause...
A. 28 October 2010: Well really your boyfriend just needs to grow a pair and move out! I cant believe you have your own place, which will obviously be costing you money yet he is too much of a baby to stand up to his mum!
He is an adult, he can do what he likes, i... (read in full...)
What date is the first kiss usually initiated on?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im 18. He's 20. We've been dating for about a month. Met up three times during the month, two of them which were dates. He hasnt made any move other than putting his arm around me on the bus journey home, feeding me icecream in the...
A. 27 October 2010: Hmmm well it is different for everyone, some guys have gone in for the kiss with me after the first date, others have waited for weeks!
So I dont think you are going to get a definitive date for when this kiss is going to happen, but it does sou... (read in full...)
How can I make him stay at school so I can get to know him better?
Q. hi how do i convince this boy i like not to leave school because in the UK you can leave school and get a collage thing this summmer and i want him to least to stay on so i can know him better and be with him i just really dont want him to see ...
A. 27 October 2010: I'm afraid there is nothing you can say to convince him to stay, and if you tried to stop him from leaving school you would only be doing it for selfish reasons, and that is wrong.
He has clearly made a decision to go to college, he is thinking... (read in full...)
Is the pill making me emotional or is this normal?
Q. Girls. I am really very emotional and to be honest, a bit of a mess everytime my period arrives. I get so low and cry at pretty much anything that makes me even remotely sad. I am on the pill. Is it the pill or just normal? I can deal with it mys...
A. 27 October 2010: Well it is different for every girl - some get very emotional as part of PMT and some dont. Generally with the pill it tends to supress symptoms of PMT hence cramps are less painful, you are less emotional, the period itself is lighter etc. So I ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my boyfriend's mother? She's driving me crazy!
Q. I've been with my bf for 1.5 years and we've been living together for 4 months. He's the only child and lives with his parents. At first I didn't have a problem with his mom, but as time went by i realized that there are some annoyance cause...
A. 27 October 2010: Ah so you have moved into her house with your boyfriend? Rather than you getting your own place? I hope I've got that right otherwise this answer wont really apply!
Basically you chose to live in her house rather than get your own place, therefor... (read in full...)
My best friend is engaged, but I love her! what do I do?
Q. I have been best friends with this girl for 4 years. And in love with her for at least 3 of those years. She has been in a relationship since not long before I met her and has recently gotten engaged. We go out together to lunch, run errands, and ...
A. 27 October 2010: Normally I would say that you should leave it alone because she is engaged, and part of me still needs to say this - she has agreed to spend the rest of her life with this man, she has decided he is "the one" and loves him enough to stay with him ... (read in full...)
Already jealous of girls in sexy Halloween outfits
Q. Me and my boyfriend are going to a club for Halloween, and obviously the place is gonna be full of skantily clad, but for the most part hot girls. I know he doesn't want me to dress like that, and out of respect for him (and for myself as well, ...
A. 27 October 2010: Simple - wear what YOU want and what makes YOU feel good! As soon as you start dressing for a man, or wearing what he has told you to wear, then you are being controlled and you are never going to have any confidence.
Now I am not saying go out d... (read in full...)
Why would he get sent to jail, and what should I do?
Q. Moderator Note: Two questions combined from same asker. So me and this guy I'm "talking" to and have been for 3 months, go to diiferent schools. They are in the same city and county and stuff just diffrent highschools. Well we ate in a sexual r...
A. 27 October 2010: Ok well the reason why he would get into trouble with the authorities (not necessarily jail) is because if he had sex with you it would be statutory rape - you are a minor therefore in the eyes of the law you cannot consent to having sex, so whoever ... (read in full...)
We slept together, he's now ignoring me. What did I do wrong?
Q. Two months ago, I lost my virginity to someone I'd met online. I was completely head over heels in love with him. The day after, he stopped texting or calling me. We were still in communication; it's just that I did all the work to maintain it. ...
A. 27 October 2010: One big thing to add here - by putting on your profile you were looking for "friendship" that is a great big go ahead to men looking for sex as they think "brilliant, she does not want a serious relationship so she must be up for a bit of fun!"
... (read in full...)
A dream about him cheating on me made me feel more insecure than I ever was
Q. I know I shouldn't read into dreams, but last night I had a dream about my bf cheating on me. I saw him kissing another girl and we started to fight over it. I slapped him twice and yelled at him, asking if he left me for "something better". He said ...
A. 27 October 2010: I really cannot recommend therapy enough for you - you have to deal with these issues otherwise you are going to ruin all the relationships you have because of these issues. I know here in the UK there are a number of charities and services ... (read in full...)
We slept together, he's now ignoring me. What did I do wrong?
Q. Two months ago, I lost my virginity to someone I'd met online. I was completely head over heels in love with him. The day after, he stopped texting or calling me. We were still in communication; it's just that I did all the work to maintain it. ...
A. 26 October 2010: Aunt Honesty is right - I'm afraid you were used and there is not a lot more to it. This is very common with online relationships - many people (men and women) use the internet to meet vulnerable people knowing they can say whatever they like to ... (read in full...)
Do we make enough money to have a baby?
Q. My boyfriend and I feel we are ready to try to start a family in the next few months. We have just paid off some debt from my uni days and are looking now to rent a place (we currently live with his family). Our combined salaries are £40,000 a ...
A. 26 October 2010: Well I think while £40k per year is not a lot and money will be tight, the average family in the UK has a combined income of £25k per year so you should be ok. It will be tough, and you will find yourself struggling for money if you do quit your job ... (read in full...)
I feel like I've traded one dad for another!
Q. i recently turned 18. Like most teenagers, i have been long awaiting this time period in my life. Well the time came and all i want to do is have fun. but its like i cant. iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years. hes always been kinda controlling and ...
A. 26 October 2010: It is very normal to feel this way - most girls your age feel like this, it is just part of growing up I'm afraid. Girls always want a boyfriend around the age of 15/16 and you are happy to be in a serious relationship. But then when you get to 18, ... (read in full...)
A dream about him cheating on me made me feel more insecure than I ever was
Q. I know I shouldn't read into dreams, but last night I had a dream about my bf cheating on me. I saw him kissing another girl and we started to fight over it. I slapped him twice and yelled at him, asking if he left me for "something better". He said ...
A. 26 October 2010: Its a dream. It means absolutely nothing. It has no impact on your day to day life whatsoever.
Dreams are your brain's way of interpreting all the signals it gets during the day that it does not have time to deal with while you are awake (as ther... (read in full...)
Are these questions leading up to Xmas?
Q. Yesterday, while driving with my boyfriend on a very very long trip we somehow got to the topic of proposals. He then wanted to ask me questions for future reference and to not "look too much into it." He asked what kind of metals (gold, silver, ...
A. 26 October 2010: I wouldnt get your hopes up - if you start thinking he is going to propose you could be very disappointed if he doesnt so try not to think about it.
By the sounds of things he is probably going to be buying you some jewellery for xmas, but what... (read in full...)
Should I have a kid; don't get off
Q. Moderator note: two questions from the same address Hello. Well me and this guy are talking and I want to have unprotected sex one time and he does too, because he said if you want to we can do it one time. Well we have only had sex 4-5 times wi...
A. 26 October 2010: First things first, here is what you need to think about before having a baby:
1. Are you in a stable, long term relationship where the chances are you will get married in the near future?
2. Do you own or rent a house big enough to have a... (read in full...)
Careers advice needed!
Q. I need some careers advice. I have been offered an interview for one of the top hotels in London . They have positions for Food and Beverage Attendants and Cloak Room Attendants. I havent done any of that kind of work before though. Do you know what ...
A. 25 October 2010: Ok, I will go through your questions one by one:
1. a cloak room attendant is pretty much like a person who works in the cloak room at a night club/bar - you take people's coats, bags, umbrellas etc, give them a ticket and watch over that area, th... (read in full...)
Should I have gay sex with my best friend he is asking help me!!!!!!!
Q. i'm 15 and i know i'm bi but i've told a few people at my school and they told everyone now i'm getting teased but now that everyone knows a lot more gay and bi people ane coming out but now i keep getting asked by a mate of mine who is gay foe gay ...
A. 25 October 2010: I think this is not quite the right time for you to be having sex - you are still finding your feet in terms of your sexuality and you should give it a couple more years just to really figure out if this is what you want.
Sex is a big deal, yo... (read in full...)
Did he get what he wanted and now I'm not important?
Q. I have been with my bf for 9 and a half months, a couple of days ago I performed oral sex on him for the first time (we has previously done other stuff) at the time it was like he was encouraging it (I started by kissing him stomach and got lower, ...
A. 25 October 2010: This is very normal for a teenage boy - most boys love video games, and if they have a new one he wont be able to keep himself away from it! My boyfriend is 27 and when he gets a new game he cannot wait to play it, so I think it is normal for all ... (read in full...)
My best friend? or the guy she likes?
Q. Hi to all who read this...well I need some help there this guy I like I found him at my friends party he was sweet,nice, funny and so on but he is a good friend of my friend which is a she and now I want to get to know him better but I found out ...
A. 25 October 2010: Basically if you care about your friend, and want her to still be your friend - then leave him alone. Friends should always come over guys, because guys come and go but friendship (if taken care of) lasts forever. No guy is worth messing up a ... (read in full...)
If I live in his place then I guess we can't date???
Q. I met a new man a month or two ago and have met up with him about 3 or 4 times. I really like him and have been really excited about seeing him each time. We spent Sunday together, had a lovely day outdoors and then to the pub and then to have ...
A. 25 October 2010: Well unless he is slighty bonkers and rushes all his new relationships, then the only real reason he will have asked you to do this is because he is buying a new house which is expensive, therefore you are the easy option - you can move in right ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend, I asked him out for a drink but he said "'I would love to another time." What does he mean?
Q. im sorry that it is long but there is a lot to say. please give your advice :) there is this guy who my friend says like me. he stares at me everytime i go into the shop he works in, and it is sort of constant staring. he always smiles at me and ...
A. 22 October 2010: This is very simple - none of this matters because he is not available. You cannot date him, you cannot have a relationship with him - he loves someone else.
He is just a flirt, and yes he is attracted to you by the sounds of things but it does ... (read in full...)
Is my husband with me just because I had his baby?
Q. I'm 23 and my husband is 33 we have only been together in a sexual relationship for about 13 months but have known each other for over 5 years. When we first got together everything thing was perfect, He was the perfect gentleman, Took me out for ...
A. 22 October 2010: Well if he has already expressed you should try counselling then you need to take the first step and just go ahead and book it - dont wait around for him to sort it out. Book it, then tell him where and when he need to show up.
Apart from tha... (read in full...)
Is my husband with me just because I had his baby?
Q. I'm 23 and my husband is 33 we have only been together in a sexual relationship for about 13 months but have known each other for over 5 years. When we first got together everything thing was perfect, He was the perfect gentleman, Took me out for ...
A. 22 October 2010: Sorry to say this but he was forced into this marriage with you and he feels like his life has been altered against his will. You got pregnant after 6 weeks! You didnt know each other very well, could not have possibly fallen in love that quickly ... (read in full...)
He deletes my comments on FB and likes and unlikes as well
Q. So my ex, (I'll call him Jay) I had an instant connection with him the moment I met him, but our relationship was short lived. He broke up with me because I was "distracting him from his baseball career." (he was a baseball star in his league) Later ...
A. 22 October 2010: Well from breaking up with him (the first time - the only time we had a 'proper' relationship) it took about 6 years for all the feelings to go away. But the main reason it took so long because I kept in contact with him, and whenever he would ask ... (read in full...)
I just don't understand guys!
Q. I don't get it. I met this nice guy at a friend's party a while back, exchanged numbers and now if I have any contact with him its only because I initiated it! The funny thing is I didn't ask for his digits, I asked if he was a member of a certain ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well the red flag here for me is that he "ummmed and erred" before he gave you his number - that suggests he never really wanted to give you the number in the first place. If he was interested in you he would have asked for your number and would ... (read in full...)
He deletes my comments on FB and likes and unlikes as well
Q. So my ex, (I'll call him Jay) I had an instant connection with him the moment I met him, but our relationship was short lived. He broke up with me because I was "distracting him from his baseball career." (he was a baseball star in his league) Later ...
A. 21 October 2010: Apart from the Facebook thing, this sounds very much like a situation I had with my ex. I was with him only for 9 months but over 6 years following that we went back and forth, always meeting up and dating a little bit, then it never working out and ... (read in full...)
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