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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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What guys do like red heads? Seems like Blondes are favorites.
Q. I've heard people say that most guys like red heads. Is that true? cause it seems like the blonde's are the favorites for sure.... What guys do like red heads?...
A. 23 December 2010: I dont know who has told you that 'most' guys like red heads - that is nonsense. Hair colour is only a tiny part of attraction, and if the girl has a good body, nice eyes, great smile and is confident - then the hair colour is not going to make much ... (read in full...)
Am I a female feeder? I have fantasies about my man gaining weight, Help!
Q. I have recently heared allot about male feeders but I think I might be one too? However, I am female and I have a boyfriend of three years. I'll call him "John". He's always been skinny, and he tried to gain weight: for his own self esteem and for ...
A. 23 December 2010: I dont think you are an actual feeder - you say you dont want it in real life, and you are attracted to slim built men, therefore you cannot be a 'feeder'. Feeders are attracted to obese people, and want to make them bigger.
Look, there is no ne... (read in full...)
I just need a second opinion because my thoughts are not always rational
Q. Right, I feel like a sleaze and know I am one... So please don't act as though I don't know... To start at the beginning, I had a boyfriend. I slept with him and he pretty much left me straight after he got "what he wanted".I was heartbroken....
A. 23 December 2010: Well you have to realise that meeting someone on a site called 'Be Naughty' is not going to be where people tend to go for serious relationships. Sites like Match.com and e-harmony are the usual sites for real relationships, any site with a title ... (read in full...)
He beat me, should I stay with him?
Q. im 14 and me and my bf have been dating for about 4 weeks now and i have a problem write ino im young but me and my bf have sex quite alot (this will make sense later) but he asked me if i wanted to come round after school on our last day but i ...
A. 23 December 2010: There is never an excuse to hit someone, regardless of what you did. This is domestic violence and you need to leave him as soon as you can, for your own safety. What happens if next time he hits you there is no-one else around to pull him off you? ... (read in full...)
I've tried my best to get over him but after his phone call I am back to square one!
Q. Hey everyone, I'm having a problem :\, 27-11 Me n my boyfriend broke up, I'm trying my best to get over him, I tried dating another guy but its not working at all, I tried talking to him about us getting back he's refusing and saying that its ...
A. 21 December 2010: Just ask him. If he said he misses you then he clearly still has feelings for him, so give him a call and tell him how you feel. Tell him you still love him and want to give it another try - see what he says.
If he says no - then he does not love... (read in full...)
He thinks I lost my virginity, but I feel I didnt! Who is right here?
Q. Something Strange Happened to me... i had no deep experience in sex but i knew a lot of information from my friends, one week ago i was with my boyfriend and he tried to penetrate i feel pain so he stop a little bit and repeat after that he enter...
A. 21 December 2010: Yes you lost your virginity. You had a penis inside your vagina - therefore you lost your virginity.
Not all women feel pain when they lose their virginity, and many women dont bleed. This is because your hymen (the membrane that covers your vag... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is asking for too much.....
Q. Hey guys and gals i have a problem... a major one... my girlfriend wants to have sex with me! First of all why now? im fourteen for goodness sake and second of all i don't really love my girlfriend anymore i was going to break up with her t...
A. 21 December 2010: Ok - first of all keep in mind that aged 14 it is illegal to be having sex and you are right in being concerned by everything she has said to you, it is best to wait until you are older when a) it is legal and b) you feel totally ready for sex.
... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I'm not a big city person? Or should I force myself out of my comfort zone?
Q. I don't know why I am the way I am.. and whether it's normal or not. I'm in my mid 20's and I have a degree in communications. The qualification is renowned for being a particularly difficult course with a high dropout rate. I topped my class,...
A. 21 December 2010: Well I am 23 and have left my family home after university to go to a fairly big city here in the UK to pursue my career, as there are no jobs where my parents are from. And it has been the right choice for me - the whole reason I went to uni was so ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be in a relationship and not use tongues?
Q. This isn't anything serious - I saw a question yesterday and it got me thinking. I hate snogging (as in kissing with tongues.)I've been with my boyfriend for a while now (just over a year) and when we first started dating that's how we used to kiss ...
A. 20 December 2010: Totally normal, dont worry. I am 23 and not a massive fan of kissing with tongues, I just find it a bit sloppy and doesnt make kissing more enjoyable! I have had some partners who have been great kissers, even with tongues, but in general I am not ... (read in full...)
I woke up in my husband's arms and he was on his laptop looking at porn?
Q. I'm about 8 weeks pregnant and married. This morning I was watching tv with my husband and fell asleep on his arm. When I woke up he had his laptop and was looking at porn. I don't know how I should react. I don't know if this was no big deal or a ...
A. 20 December 2010: 99% of men on this planet look at porn, it is nothing to worry about.
It is a little odd that he would do it right in front of you - but at least he is not hiding it and obviously thinks that you are open minded enough not to be freaked out by i... (read in full...)
If he loves me then why does he call me all these names?
Q. My boyfrind says he loves me but calls me all these names. we go out n evey lil thing I do bothers him we live together n wen we get home its a non ending battle he gets mad at me he tells me he hates me n den wants to have sex n den he gets mad n ...
A. 20 December 2010: Sounds like he is using you for sex I'm afraid. He clearly does not respect you if he calls you names, then seemingly he only apologises to you when he wants sex and then goes back to being nasty again.
Dont put up with his name calling - tell h... (read in full...)
It bothers me that he was once engaged to someone else!
Q. This is a fairly simple question. I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 months and I love him. He is older than me and 5 years ago he was engaged. They ended up not getting married because she wasn't ready to give up her life of partying, as he ...
A. 20 December 2010: I am not sure what part about him being engaged before bothers you? This is how I look at engagements - basically you agree to spend the rest of your life with that person, typically the guy gets down on one knee and because she is 'the one' asks ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend to update his language and stop sounding ridiculous?
Q. Hi, I'm a freshman and I have this best friend "JP". I use slang a lot when I talk: aiight, fookie, stresst, heated, blawk, gucci, boi, fit, madd, sick, tight, etc. It just kinda rolls off my tongue jst as well as the next guy. this kind of language ...
A. 18 December 2010: I'm not going to encourage you to try and make some poor guy speak in a language that will make him look like an idiot. He clearly is not comfortable speaking this way and it doesn't come to him naturally like it does to you.
So what I think you ... (read in full...)
What are your top 5 "Must haves" and "Can't stands"
Q. Poll (just for fun). For women and men, for you, what are the top 5 "MUST HAVES" and the top 5 "CAN'T STANDS" when evaluating members of the opposite sex as a potential lifelong partner? I guess mine would be Must Haves: friendly dispos...
A. 17 December 2010: Must have:
1. Intelligence
2. Ambition
3. Good manners
4. Makes me laugh
5. Smells nice!
Cant stand:
1. Bad hygeine
2. No ambition or drive to achieve anything in life
3. Boring conversation/no interests
4. nasty fingernails & to... (read in full...)
Am I able to pull it off as my boyfriend's baby?
Q. Hi I'm in a tough situation,I think I might be pregnant with my ex boyfriends baby. My current boyfriend and I have been trying for a year for a baby and haven't had any luck. He cheated on me 3 times a while back and out of anger I went and cheated ...
A. 17 December 2010: It would be VERY wrong if you tried to pass it off as your boyfriend's baby - you cannot try and fool him into him into raising another man's child, and it is also not fair on your ex because this could well be his child, this child is 50% his genes ... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to worry about his mom?
Q. Hi all! My boyfriend is leaving to another country for 10 days this Friday and I'm fine with it, I want him to enjoy himself. However one thing slightly irks me.. His mom really doesn't like me a lot, calling me ugly and little nasty things thr...
A. 17 December 2010: Well if he has gone to Argentina then it is not really strange to not take a phone, it is so expensive to use the internet or make calls, and he is only gone for 10 days so it is not really like he is gone for ages.
Seen as it is Christma... (read in full...)
I'm 14, he's 18..is it a good idea to date?
Q. Okay so this is considered wrong sometimes i guess. Okay so im 14 and I am going to be quite honest the guy i like 18 and he likes me to. My issue i giess is what other people say about it? In the State of Indiana i know that if someone has sex with ...
A. 17 December 2010: Well you havent mentioned anything about the guy himself or how he acts around you so I cannot say if he likes you or not.
However with the issue of dating him - I'm not sure if this will be a good idea to be honest. You are right, if you had sex ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend to update his language and stop sounding ridiculous?
Q. Hi, I'm a freshman and I have this best friend "JP". I use slang a lot when I talk: aiight, fookie, stresst, heated, blawk, gucci, boi, fit, madd, sick, tight, etc. It just kinda rolls off my tongue jst as well as the next guy. this kind of language ...
A. 17 December 2010: Look, he is your friend and you should accept him, however he speaks. In my personal opinion I think anyone who speaks the way you do is making themselves looks ridiculous, it is a horrible way of speaking that is so try hard and fake. So jus... (read in full...)
Can sex or my penis size ruin my relationship?
Q. Hello everyone, I just started to go out with my girlfriend, and she seems like the greatest girl in the world except for one huge problem. At times she can be very sweet and caring and there are other times where she can be very judgmental. She ...
A. 16 December 2010: Well lets be realistic here - yes SEX can ruin a relationship (as in bad sex or a lack of sex) however it is highly unlikely that penis size would ever ruin a relationship (unless it was 3inches or smaller!).
5 inches is fine - Although there is... (read in full...)
Do I have reasons to worry about his mom?
Q. Hi all! My boyfriend is leaving to another country for 10 days this Friday and I'm fine with it, I want him to enjoy himself. However one thing slightly irks me.. His mom really doesn't like me a lot, calling me ugly and little nasty things thr...
A. 16 December 2010: Well you have to remember - your boyfriend is his own person and cannot be forced into cheating by his mother!
As long as you know that he loves you and you trust him, then there is nothing to worry about. Because all these comments will just was... (read in full...)
A few things are worrying me about my friend's older man, does anyone else find this strange?
Q. Well let me start off by saying that I'm seeking some opinions. My best friend has always been into younger men, she is 18 like me. Over the summer she met a 38 year old man at another friends job. She was hesitant because he is so much older but ...
A. 15 December 2010: Not strange at all.
1. Not being married at 38 - that is a good thing! Divorces are messy, kids could be involved etc so it is nice that he hasnt jumped into a marriage that has then failed - he clearly knows what he wants in a woman and in a rel... (read in full...)
His daughter will always be more special to him than I am, how do I get over this?
Q. Please help me, I want to leave but am so scared. I have been with my boyfriend 1 year. He is 7 years older than me. He has a daughter of 5 and I get along well with his daughter but do sometimes suffer with jealousy towards her,, although I never...
A. 15 December 2010: He will be walking her down the aisle and beaming with pride that his beautiful daughter is all grown up. He will be happy for her and incredibly pleased that they have stayed close all this time, without letting anyone come between them.
Chanc... (read in full...)
I wanted to make him feel good but I failed!
Q. First off, me and my bf are both virgins and we decided to have sex when I'm ready. Lately I've been feeling like I really want to do that, we talked about contraception, tried to imagine our first time, talked about the future and so on. We're ...
A. 15 December 2010: Well if he had already masturbated that day then it is quite likely to be the cause of his lost erection, there is only a certain number of times in one day a man can get it up! And for each man it varies - some men can have multiple erections each ... (read in full...)
His daughter will always be more special to him than I am, how do I get over this?
Q. Please help me, I want to leave but am so scared. I have been with my boyfriend 1 year. He is 7 years older than me. He has a daughter of 5 and I get along well with his daughter but do sometimes suffer with jealousy towards her,, although I never...
A. 15 December 2010: I am sorry to say this and I hope you dont take it the wrong way but you are being very immature and selfish. To be hurt when someone says they love their child more than they love a girlfriend? That is just about the most normal statement you can ... (read in full...)
She cant confirm if we are really over, but wont let me back in her life! What can I do?
Q. my lifes just spinning out of control. 8 months ago i had everything, although it wasnt all good on the relationship front and hadnt been since sept 09 really when our 2nd son was born. basically we fell in love and left out partners nearly 7 years ...
A. 14 December 2010: She is not trying to ruin your life - she has simply broken up with you because she cannot handle your behaviour any more. In a way you ruined your own life by treating her so badly, and this is something you are going to have to come to terms with. ... (read in full...)
She cant confirm if we are really over, but wont let me back in her life! What can I do?
Q. my lifes just spinning out of control. 8 months ago i had everything, although it wasnt all good on the relationship front and hadnt been since sept 09 really when our 2nd son was born. basically we fell in love and left out partners nearly 7 years ...
A. 14 December 2010: I cant see why that matters? She wanted to know what time this child (step daughter or not it is still a child who she cares about) was going to be returned to her (you said in your post "when are you dropping B to me?" - that indicates she was ... (read in full...)
She cant confirm if we are really over, but wont let me back in her life! What can I do?
Q. my lifes just spinning out of control. 8 months ago i had everything, although it wasnt all good on the relationship front and hadnt been since sept 09 really when our 2nd son was born. basically we fell in love and left out partners nearly 7 years ...
A. 14 December 2010: Look, let me make this clear - what you did IS cheating. Yes it is not physical cheating, but it is emotional cheating and this can be just as hurtful, if not MORE hurtful than pure physical cheating. You have to try and see this from her ... (read in full...)
How can I be less possessive?
Q. My bf of 5 months is awesome: loving, caring, smart, open minded, and we match sexually like 2 pieces of lego blocks. We are in love with each other pretty madly. We both value honesty and openness, and since we live in separate cities, it makes...
A. 14 December 2010: I dont really understand - are you having an open relationship? Presuming because you have done 'physical' things with someone else then it must be an open relationship otherwise you have cheated?
My thoughts are this - if you really do 'love' h... (read in full...)
How safe is sex with a condom but no birth control?
Q. How safe is protected sex with a condom and no birth control. I dont want to catch anything and I do not want to get pregnant. Is a condom safe? I'm not into the pill thing. ...
A. 14 December 2010: As CaringGuy said - about 97% effective providing it is on correctly and does not break. Condoms are the only way to prevent STD's so it is important to always use them, but because of errors in putting them on and the fact they are quite easy to ... (read in full...)
I have left her twice, and only been back together for a short time but now I find myself emotionally cheating! Please help!
Q. First things first, I'm 24. Now, about 5 years ago I was with this girl for about 6 months, she turned crazy and left me and all of her friends no longer talk to her and they are STILL TO THIS DAY friends with me. The day that girl and I broke...
A. 14 December 2010: Look, that post was a bit too long to take in all the information fully but here are my thoughts:
1. The other girl is irrelevant, she was just great in bed and all you would want from her is a rebound, sex based relationship. So try and disr... (read in full...)
Does my cousin like me? I need to know for sure!
Q. Hello to all. i have posted a question here. it was to know whether my cousin is interested in me. i have got 2 answers which tell me 50 % he likes you and 50 % he likes you but like a cousin. so i have still some doubt which i want your advice...
A. 14 December 2010: Well let me just say this first - I am not sure how cousin marriages are regarded in your culture, I am presuming that it is quite normal but you must understand that obviously my answer will be from a western perspective where cousin marriages are ... (read in full...)
Do I ask both of her parents for permission to marry her/
Q. Alright, I will soon be asking my long-time girlfriend to marry me. Since the two of us come from rather traditional families, I want to ask for permission before I do so. Traditionally, one generally asks the father of the bride to be. However, ...
A. 14 December 2010: Well obviously the 'traditional' thing to do is ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage - this has come from when the man was the head of the household and his daughter's were 'his to give away' so to speak.
Now we are in 2010 - this i... (read in full...)
How do I tell my ex I don't want him back and I'm happy with my new boyfriend?
Q. Hi,me and my ex broke up because of some misunderstanding,but it was so clear that we still loved each other,i kept regreting why we did that until i met this guy that swept me off my feet,he was so gentle and nice.we got to know each other for a ...
A. 13 December 2010: Telling someone that you dont feel the same is never going to feel good, there is no nice way to say it and of course he will be disappointed. But you are hurting him more by leading him on and pretending that he still has a chance with you - so all ... (read in full...)
Will he say yes if I ask him out?
Q. Ok well ive been getting mixed singals from this guy i like. Hes so sweet and considerate and caring. He makes me love him. i havent met him n person cuz i met him on Facebook thru my friend/his ex girlfriend. But hes sent me videos of him on ...
A. 13 December 2010: So let me get this straight, this guy is your friend's ex?
If that is correct, then regardless of how you both feel it is very WRONG to ask him out. This girl is supposed to be your friend, why do you want to hurt her by dating her ex? Friends ... (read in full...)
I already have a child, I don't need my boyfriend to be another one!
Q. Let me start off by saying that I am a single mom taking care of a 2 year old. I'm going through divorce and trying my best to look good so I don't lose my child. My soon to be ex will have a lawyer but since I can't afford one, I won't. This is ...
A. 13 December 2010: Well just because he earns a lot of money does not mean he is the best person to have custody of your daughter, and the courts know this. If he makes six figures then chances are he works a LOT of hours and is a very busy man, whereas if you are ... (read in full...)
As the girlfriend, how would you feel in this situation?
Q. I simply want your opinion on the following scenario. Your bf [who has in the past broken your trust issues and met up with an ex behind your back]allows a different ex gf to come to his state, stay over night and generally hang out because she's ...
A. 13 December 2010: If I were the girlfriend I would not be happy about it at all and would be considering breaking up with him. It is not acceptable to have an ex over to your house to stay, especially one that you are not in frequent contact with and is newly ... (read in full...)
I already have a child, I don't need my boyfriend to be another one!
Q. Let me start off by saying that I am a single mom taking care of a 2 year old. I'm going through divorce and trying my best to look good so I don't lose my child. My soon to be ex will have a lawyer but since I can't afford one, I won't. This is ...
A. 13 December 2010: Have you spoken to him about his behaviour? Told him how you feel? I'm sure if you just sat down with him one day when your daughter is asleep or at her dad's and just explained that you are currently really worried about the upcoming divorce and ... (read in full...)
Should I write a note to boyfriend's parents? Is that respectable?
Q. I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about 1 year and a half now. I love him dearly and we’re planning a future together sometime in the next year. I’m working out the details of moving to be with him. Anywho, long story short, he lives ...
A. 13 December 2010: I think sending a letter (not a note) would be a nice thing to do and I am sure they would appreciate it.
Dont worry about not being good with words - all that matters is that it is spelt correctly and that you write from the heart so it is belie... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and want to keep it but my fiance wants abortion
Q. I'm 20 years old , I have a 13 month old son ... My fiance has two children , we just found out three days ago I am pregnant.. At first I didnt know what I wanted to do , but now I realized I want to keep the baby.. We have talked about it and have ...
A. 13 December 2010: Well first of all, really your fiance is to blame seen as if he does not want more kids, then he should be responsible and wear a condom. He should not be having unprotected sex if he cannot deal with the consequences!
However it sounds to me th... (read in full...)
I found it I was pregnant and he started calling me names
Q. I am very confused and in need of advice . I hv been a commuted relationship for three years. I just found out I was pregnant , not sure how my birth control failed , I use depo shot. Anyways I told my boyfriend I was pregnant and he freaked o...
A. 13 December 2010: Well first of all, your boyfriend had no right to call you names like that, it was a very nasty thing to do when you did not do this intentionally. But I guess he will have just been very shocked, angry and scared.
Have you ever spoke about ch... (read in full...)
Is he too complicated?
Q. Hi all. I am 25 and from Australia. My bf is much older than me, he is 42. I have had problems as you all know about his ex wife and there divorce status. Now guys i need your help again. My boyfriend has three children from previous marriage, which ...
A. 13 December 2010: I agree with CaringGuy - it all depends on what YOU want from your life. You have 2 options really:
1. Do you want children? To get married? All the usual stuff people in their 20's expect?
2. Or are you happy just to be with him, never having c... (read in full...)
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