A
male
age
41-50,
*udiodude
writes:I need help im about to do something very stupid (maybe)SO as you imagine im brokenhearted, we broke up 6 months ago, we broke up she says couse i was "mean", i think she just did not love me. We dated for 3 years, she asked several time to get married and i did not what to do. i wanted too but i guess i was not ready. I was always capable to get female attention while i was with her. We had some "dates" after the broke up, we had an incredible time together even when broken up. But now she ignores me, she does not pick up the phone, respond texts, emails, anything. For a week i try almost everyday to contact her, but now i gave up.In reality im suffering like never before in my life, i fu...d big time, i had the best girl i ever had but i was so fuck...g stupid to realize it. Im a big mess (on the head and the hearth), on the outside i look at my best since all i been doing is working out, i also have gone out to pick up girls but NONE of them can replace her, also all of the girls i talk to i meet them in a club so its not the best place for a serious relationships like the ones i like to have. My biggest wish in life is to have her back. I went to a trip and i got her a gift. LAst time we spoke we agree to meet up later to have a coffee and to give it to her, now everything is all cold and she ignores me. Also, she just finish her master degree and got her first great job as a professional , she got a new great place by the beach. I AM very happy for her success but it seems that she focus all her energy on that, while all i think about is her. I am about to go to her job and wait for her to give her that gift. I really dont know what else to do to see her,!!!! I cry almost everyday, i think about her all the time. Its not that i need her in my life but i want her, i love her and i dot think i will ever meet somebody like that again. I dont know what to expect if i go there, but all i want to do is see her for a few minutes. I have her as my facebook friend and ALL i do is go to her website to see our pics together, I sant to delete her so bad, but i cant!!!!! I dont know if she is dating , i dont know what her feelings are, all i know is that she thinks this is the right decision and that "we had problems" It seems that she is thinking of the negatives so much that she forgot about the great times, or maybe i think so much about the good times that i forgot the bad ones... Anyhow, should i go there to give her the gift??? How can i take those bad times out of her head?? Thanks.
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male
reader, audiodude +, writes (12 October 2010):
audiodude is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, i wasnt going to show at her job inside , maybe i wrote the wrong thing, i was planing on waiting outside by her car, so i dont couse problems... at the end, I guess its the same psycho stuff, but you guys are right.!! As far as writing her i think it will be deleted without even reading, that is why thought of driving there... Thanks for your answers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): I know this sounds tough, but it sounds as though you're on a hiding to nothing, as they say. She broke up with you (for whatever reason), and is now enjoying her new life without you*.
You can't make her change her mind, and desperate demonstrations of love rarely work outside of romantic movies. You're better off investing your emotional and phyiscal energies into getting over her and focusing on other aspects of your life.
Put yourself in her shoes. Would YOU want an ex constantly chasing and harassing you once you'd told them it was over?
(*I have a feeling I'm going to be finding myself in a similar situation, having just been brutally dumped by the "love of my life" (sounds corny, but I'm 40, divorced, and have had a fair few relationships so I know the difference)).
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Please please please dont go to her work! She has just got this job and if it is her first professional job, you will just ruin everything for her by turning up at her workplace. She is obviously very focused on her career, and wants to be successful. So having an emotional, crazy ex turn up at her work declaring his love for her and thrusting gifts at her will make all her colleagues think differently of her. It is very important at work to keep your private life seperate from your work life, so if you show up you could cause big problems for her at work. I'm sure you dont want that now do you?
If you really feel you must give her the gift, then why not just send her a text or email saying that the last time you spoke you agreed to meet up again and you would really like it if you could catch up on xxxx time at xxxx place. If she responds, then great you can give her the gift.
But if she does not respond, then I think it is time to accept that she has moved on and wants nothing more to do with you. You cannot force her to see you, or want to speak to you. I know it is hard to accept and deal with, you obviously still have very strong feelings for her and it is hard when the other person does not reciprocate. But time will help, eventually you will move on too and it wont hurt so much. But you have to leave her alpne, if that is what she wants then you need to respect that.
You cannot force someone to love you back, and if she wants nothing to do with you then you have to accept the situation and finally realise it is over.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (12 October 2010):
 HI. I am sorry you are feeling like this. WHy not email here telling her al the stuff you have just put down in this post? eg: you love her, miss her etc , wnat her back. Then see if she gets back to you. Also maybe text her, telling her you have emailed. Don;t turn up at her workplace for now, or keep contacting her. Giver her a few dyas, and see if she gest back. I am in the smae position with my Ex BF. The worse thing is , not knowing how the oher perosn feels. Let me knwo how you get on. Natmareixx
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