A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't get it. I met this nice guy at a friend's party a while back, exchanged numbers and now if I have any contact with him its only because I initiated it! The funny thing is I didn't ask for his digits, I asked if he was a member of a certain social network to which he said yes then umm-ed and err-ed before deciding to give me his number as well. It was quite cute how he made sure I spelt his name right too.So yeah, the fact that he hasn't been the one to initiate any conversations makes me think he's not interested, but at the same time I wonder why he would bother carrying the conversation on if he wasn't? He definitely makes sure there are plenty of talking points. Urrrrgh I don't understand guys anymore. I mean I know its exam time and he has to study but seriously!
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Well the red flag here for me is that he "ummmed and erred" before he gave you his number - that suggests he never really wanted to give you the number in the first place. If he was interested in you he would have asked for your number and would have text you first.
Sorry if that is harsh - but I'm afraid he just isnt particularly interested in you. He will have given you his number just to be polite - he will have thought "she is interested in me as she is asking about this social network - best give her my number to look nice, I dont want to reject her here in front of other people". Then he will carry on the conversation in texts when he does text back, just to appear polite. But the clear sign he is not interested is that he is not initiating anything - he is just being polite rather than forward.
It might seem odd that he would behave this way, and you are probably thinking "why didnt he just say sorry I'm not interested" but most people cannot do this - it is hard to reject someone to their face, especially in a social setting in front of friends. So the easy option is to give your number out, then slowly phase them out that way. That avoids any awkward moments face to face, and the hope is that if you never text them they will just get the point eventually that you are not interested.
Sorry about this - but just forget about it and move on! The key with men is this - they will chase you if they are interested, they will always be the first to text or to invite you out on a date. If they do not do this - not interested. Simple as that. Men who are really into you will ask for your number, then text you first, then invite you out, then will ask when they can see you again. If they are not behaving like that then it really is so simple - they are not into you!
It is not hard work understanding men, they are very simple creatures and when they want something, they will work at it to get it and keep it. If they are not interested or if they dont like you that way, they simply wont bother. They will respond if contacted, but wont do anything more than that.
Forget about him, and onto the next!
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 He's probably just shy. If he didn't want to talk to you he wouldn't pick up the phone, he wouldn't text you back, he wouldn't stay on the phone long. Ask him on a date and see what happens. Then you'll know for sure, and my guess is the answer will be that he likes you and wants to go out. He just sounds shy, like he's worried he'll scare you off if he calls you (which is silly). Just ask him for coffee or something.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 October 2010):
 He might just be shy or unsure how to navigate this kind of thing. For all you know, he may have never had a date before. If he responds with things to keep the conversation going, then that means he at least likes the conversation. The fact that he hasn't initiated could mean he's not interested, or it could mean that he doesn't want to seem too eager. It's hard to say.
You're obviously starting to like this guy, or you wouldn't be here trying to interpret his behavior. Why not ask him to meet up and see how it goes?
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A
female
reader, hotnhorny +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Seriously huuny he aint all that into you if he dont contact you is he. It sounds like hes just playing you cos you let ya guard down at the party. I understand that exam times are very stressful and that ya do need to study but persoanlly I would play him at his own game. Only contact him every now and then for a general chat or a study chat. Then maybe after exam time is over he might pick things up without you running to him all the time. In the mean time just you carry on as normal do ya studying and ya never no you might come across a nicer guy that you dont have to initiate every conversation with etc. Good look with the exams. x
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