A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:We've been dating a year and a half or thereabouts, and recently she's moved to a different city, and I'm supposed to move with her but I don't know if I should.She's recently made her facebook completely private, so I can't see photos or comments or anything, and she's not listed as in a relationship with me anymore - last time she did this it was only hidden from me, so I'm guessing that's what has happened again, but she never told me why.She keeps going out for the day at the weekend where she is now to meet up with people, and whenever I ask it's always 'a friend from uni' - I never get a name, even though she's taken time off work and booked hotels in order to meet these people, and I've asked her who she's actually with.Whenever I have seen her recently she hasn't wanted to be initimate at all... I only get to see her once a month or so for a couple of days at the moment, and the last few times she 'hasn't been in the mood', but she's started taking better care of herself with creams and stuff because she says she wants to look sexy.Sometimes when we talk on MSN we'll be on webcam (not inappropriately) and I can see her there talking to someone on her laptop and laughing her head off, but she ignores me for (literally sometimes) hours at the same time.I also recently found out that she was planning a holiday to go see 'a friend' in another country, but she didn't tell me, I found out because one of her friends mentioned it off handedly on facebook... the only friend I know of that she has in that country is a guy that's hit on her before.On top of this I know she lies to me - a while ago a guy from her class was hitting on her all the time, and she told me it happened once, but her friend told me that actually she'd met up with this guy a couple of times (although nothing had happened) - times when she told me she was revising. It took her six months to admit to it, and she was denying it even when I told her that her friend had told me.She goes from one extreme to the other - if I see something on facebook that I question (like the holiday) she accuses me of stalking, but she's admitted that she reads my msn conversations and looked down my facebook page until she found comments from my ex of three or four years ago - sometimes she'll ring me crying that she misses me, others she'll ignore me for a few days.Actually, in writing this I've realised there's no need to ask the question...
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facebook, in the mood, msn, my ex, she lies, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI had a proper sit down and chat with her, and eventually she confessed that she was two-timing me. Thankfully it was before I'd officially moved down, feeling really low right now, but I guess we all know it's for the best.
Thanks for your responses everyone :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2010): think you need to break the distance and be there with her, the distance is wahts causing this. need a close proximity relationsihp so you can be with eachother and not play games. otherwise ditch her! and find someone closer
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (25 September 2010):
why does she have your password to begin with?!
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A
female
reader, tblondie1826 +, writes (24 September 2010):
Dump her, you deserve so much better. Do not stand for those stupid mind games. She wants you around when she's lonely and when she's not she is off with other men doing her thing. End it because she does not deserve you. I'd break all contact.
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A
male
reader, wantspaintogoaway +, writes (24 September 2010):
 no matter what she is doing, she is still hiding things from you and that is not okay
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Ditch her. The post below says it all.
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A
female
reader, CuteBabe +, writes (24 September 2010):
 I totally agree with K c100.. He definately has a point here, and you realised at the end you know! You might be in a relationship but she definately ISN'T! so forget about her, she's playing with you and your feelings.. You absolutely deserve better than her!!!
Can't say much more than Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Well at least you have realised it yourself - this girl is bad news! There is no doubt something is going on, whether she is actually cheating or just spending a lot of time talking to someone she is lying to you and there is definitely someone else in the picture.
Booking hotels to see someone, and she wont even give you a name?! That has just the biggest red flag! And to hide everything from you on Facebook when you are supposed to be in a relationship, that is just shady.
You cant trust her (and rightly so), you barely have any communication in your relationship and you hardly see each other - this is not a relationship, you are just her comfort blanket when she gets a bit lonely and doesnt have anyone else left to flirt with.
Dont waste any more time with her, and do not move to be with her - she is taking you for a ride!
Sorry that this has happened to you, you sound like a good guy and no-one deserves to be treated this way. You can do a lot better!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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