A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am I being unrealistic? Is a 24 year age gap to much? I am 26, he is 50. I've always said to people, age doesn't matter. But that's when I was offering advice to my friends. Now it is a situation that has arisen for me, and I have my doubts! What do you all think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chick989 +, writes (15 November 2010):
my boyfriend and i have been together nearly 2 years - we have 32 years between us, i'm 19 and he's 50. totally in love with him more than ever and never want it to end. follow your heart x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): hey whats tyhe matter with everyone these days i am 54 and my wife is 26 we have 2 young children who are much the same age as my grandkids my kids are around the same age as my wife and they all get on fine if your love is true and strong then go for it and bugger what others say
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A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (26 September 2010):
 Age doesn't matter, it's how the two of you feel about one another.To say that he "only has a few years of good health" is ridiculous. The man is only 50!As far as his sex drive, YOU will increase that! Besides, isn't it the men 30+ complaining that their wives for one reason or another don't or wont have sex? We always hear about women reaching their sexual peak in their 30's, yet so many men are in relationships with these 30's year old women who wont do it, so maybe someone can explain this?I realize that you have your doubts. There is social pressure and the uncertainty. But as the old saying goes, To love and lose is better than to have never loved at all.As far as him being "set in his ways" who isn't? He can offer you stability and the opportunity to do things you may very well not be able to do with someone your own age.Often times in same age relationships; all the while a couple is trying to build a future, they are still growing up. Next thing they know, they find that they are not only grown up, but that they have grown apart. That's usually one or two kids later. Hey, look at the divorce rate..Just relax and let it flow. If you live your life according to what society considers "normal" you will find yourself old and gray and realize that you live for everyone else, but not yourself.I hope this helps...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): The age gap is not fair to you. He has few years of good health left, and will die on you while you will still be relatively young. In a society where men and equal are said to be treated equally, age gaps like this are unfair, and should not be tolerated. In conservative patriarchal societies, like in Asia, where men wield more of the power, the society is groomed so that young women accept being with older men. If he wants a a girl 24 years younger than him, make him go to Asia for it. Find yourself somebody that will actually be GOOD for you!
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A
female
reader, beautiful life +, writes (24 September 2010):
Personally, I feel age does matter. If you marry a man 15 or 20 years older than you, and he has a low sex drive, and your sex drive is high, that would be a huge problem. In some cases the man is set in his ways. Things has to be his way or no way. I am married to someone like this. I am only speaking from a living experience.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Well it depends what you want from him. Would you be happy just with him? Or do you want the whole, wedding, kids, grand kids etc?
Because if you would be happy just being with him, and enjoying him for who he is then 24 years is not that bad. However, if you want a family, wedding etc then realistically with him aged 50 the chances of this happening are slim.
Think about it this way - he is 50 now, so chances are he will have a) been married in the past & now divorced or b) had numerous long term relationships. If it is a) does he even want marriage again? if it is b) you have to ask why has he not settled down before? Is he just an eternal bachelor?
Even if he wants to get married in the future, then really you have to think (based on that you have only met recently) that say you get engaged at the earliest within a year, he will then be 51. So again, allow for wedding planning time, he is 52. So you might get the wedding you want - but then what about a family?
Allow at least 1 year for trying to fall pregnant after the wedding - he is 53. By the time the baby is born, he is 54. So when the child is 10, he will be 64. Can you really be a good dad, playing with your children and running around after them when you already have a bus pas and a pension? My best friend who is now 23 has parents that are elderly - her mum was 41 when she gave birth and her dad was late 40's/early 50's. She would be bullied by other kids at school with the kids saying "oh is that your grandad here to pick you up?" - so much so that her dad had to stop coming to school and she would have to come home with me and my mum. She is now a carer for both her parents, her mum has just had a stroke and her dad has severe artritis. She cannot live the "normal" life of a 23 year old - instead she is having to care for her parents and spends lots of her time in hospital visiting her parents, or the rest of the time cooking, cleaning and looking after them when they are at home.
Do you really want this for your kids? To have dad already quite elderly when they are in their teenage years? He might not even make it to see them get married, and even seeing them have children (his grandchildren) is unlikely. Is that really the life you want to offer your children?
And what about you? You will get 10 good years at the most, then you might end up caring for him, watching his health decline when you are in your peak? When you are in your 30's & 40's, wanting to go to dinner parties with friends, when you career is at its best - he wont really be able to share this with you. What if he does have health problems in his 60's? You might end up being a single mum with a teenage child, are you ready for that?
It might seem wonderful now, when he is 50, still active and attractive. But this will quickly decline, and he is not in the right place in his life to commit to a future like marriage and kids. When I think about this, I just cant get my head around it. I am 23, and my dad is 54. So this is not much different to your age gap! My dad has 2 daughters (me, 23, and my sister 20) - I know for sure he would never think of having more kids at his age. He has got to the point in life when his kids have grown up and he can now enjoy himself, do what he wants doesnt have to worry about us all the time.
So I guess it is up to you really. What is more important; being with him, or having a family? Because you cannot get both from this relationship, so you have to decide what is more important to you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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