A
female
age
41-50,
*elisha
writes:I just left home of my 2 year marriage, it was so sad to leave my house and my husband, even when he changed the locks on me and I had to call the cops so they convince him to come and open the door for me. Am I too weak or what... I mean, relationship was lacking of communication and respect, sometimes I felt manipulated and alone when living with him =(... I know I'm not perfect and I thought divorce was the best for both of us... What I'm sure is that we have so much to learn and some of that stuff you learn alone, in my experience... But I don't know why I feel so sad, I'd like to go back home.B
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female
reader, Belisha +, writes (5 October 2010):
Belisha is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your kind words, god bless you for taking the time to share them with me, you're both angels...it feels so good not to be alone on this one.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 October 2010):
 Well of course you are going to be sad - you are mourning the loss of your marriage and it is going to take some time to get over it. You made vows to this man to love and to cherish until death do us part, you will have gone into the marriage thinking this was it forever so for it to end will be a big shock to the system for it to end.
The house will have been the house you shared for 2 or more years, a home you made together filled with happy memories. Yes there will be bad memories and a lot of unhappiness but still, you will have had good times too and the mind is much better at remembering good things and repressing the bad ones out of the way. When you get married you dedicate your whole life to that person, committ to them forever so your whole life tends to become about them. So for that to be taken away is very sad.
So dont feel like you are weak or that you shouldnt feel this way - it is totally normal and good that you feel like this. If you were going on about life like nothing had happened, happy as larry then that would be worrying as you would be bottling it all up inside. But at least you are letting yourself feel sad, you are expressing your emotions rather than hiding them. It is best to let it out as much as you can, cry if you want to, shout if you need to....it all helps.
It will take some time so dont expect to stop feeling sad any time soon, divorce is often like a death - where you go from having this person in your life to them suddenly being taken away and there is no more contact with them. So you need to let yourself mourn the loss of your husband, home and old life, just like you would mourn the loss of a loved one who had died.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (4 October 2010):
 It sounds like you've experienced alot of drama. That will drain you emotionally and leave some feelings that I only wish I could explain. But it sounds like you are experiencing them.
When you spend that much time with someone they become part of your life. Not just in the "day to day" but the body as a whole.
What you are feeling is common. Even in times when things were miserable and painful, after you are apart, for some reason you still miss them. I know that I experienced that and couldn't understand why.
My best description is: Now that the weight has been lifted, I feel an empty spot where it once was....
Bottom line is. It was a rut. A bad rut, but a comfortable rut. Getting on to smooth pavement takes time and courage. i.e. healing.
Add the fact that that was the place you called home. You went into the marriage with good intentions. Being it was only two years ago, you have taken an emotional roller coaster ride in a short time.
To go back would only be reliving the past.
The best thing for you is to focus on you. Do the things that make YOU happy. It's hard, and there will be days when you think my words are crazy. But in the end, your life and happiness is what matters most.
and...
That's why we are here.
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