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We have only been together for 8 months and I'm worried we are not having sex enough!

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 October 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 4 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

This might seem like a strange question to ask, but I'm wondering if I have anything to worry about!

Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 months, spent nearly everyday together in that time. But the thing is our sex life had dwindled down to 2-3 times a week - more twice a week than three times. It's not a case of either of us turning the other one down at any point, but more that we both go to bed knackered and fall asleep straight away.

When we do have sex, it's such a turn on and I love it.

I am very attracted to my boyfriend and we're very affectionate with each other. But is this FAR TOO little to be making love in the beginning?

My friend has said that she had sex with her husband 5times a week or sometimes more right up until they'd been together for 2 years.

Help!

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (4 October 2010):

k_c100 agony auntThere is no point in comparing yourself to other couples - everyone is different therefore there is never "too much" or "not enough" sex. With the exception of NEVER having sex, then whatever works for you is fine.

Your friend and her husband might just have had really high sex drives, and their daily lives may not have been too demanding at that time so they had lots of time and energy to have sex. Whereas other couples may have stressful jobs, family problems etc which mean they are tired, dont have the time etc so they dont have sex so often.

It does not matter at all what everyone else is doing - as long as you and your partner are happy with your sex life then thats all that matters. 2-3 times a week (in my opinion anyway!) is a good, healthy sex life. It takes into account that you have real lives that are busy and strenuous, but also shows that you make time for sex and enjoy each other sexually.

If this helps, me and my boyfriend have been together 13 months now and we have sex about once or twice a week on average, and I am 23 and he is 27! So while a lot of people might say that is not enough, for us it is fine. Yes we would like to have sex a bit more, but we are both in very stressful jobs and are incredibly busy, and struggle to get to bed before 12am and then we are up again around 6am so our current stage in life just doesnt allow for lots of sex! But when we have sex we really enjoy it, we are attracted to each other and we always have a good time!

One final thing - remember it is quality over quantity!

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