A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm 14 and head for heels for this 46 yr old teacher and i've never felt this way about any guy before and hes the head teacher of science so i love going to science haha :P i had him for yr8 science last year and thats how i developed my feelings for him , hes not entirely the best looking man but he is super hilarious and i love his pearly whites and his personality :)this year i had him for ag but then i left because i felt like i wasn't meant for ag i'm pretty artistic/creative etc etc so then i changed into photography but i hate it everyones so loud and the teacher is very inconsiderate and heaps bitchy and i want to move back i regret moving but seeing as it's the end of the year i wont have a chance even though i sneak in there when hes away my friends miss me in there and want me to ask him if i could go back like thats going to happen , all of my friends know my feelings for him and think its disgusting and they think i'm quite bonkers and i'm kind of ashamed of liking him for about 2 years , everyone in my year knows some teacher knows and not to mention deputies and the staff and all them it wasn't meant to spread all over looks like i shouldn't have told my friends so really i just don't know who to trust about it i always wonder if he knows but it dosen't matter i'm leaving this school and going to an all girls high school but i want to tell him or leave him a note telling my feelings for him i know thats stupid but i'm sick of him not knowing how i feel and i wonder what i feel for him is actually normal ? i've never liked guys my age they always had to be older and i think thats not normal , older guys are so compelling to me , Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (24 September 2010):
 Well first of all yes it is normal to have feelings for a teacher - if you search this site you will see hundreds and hundreds of teenagers just like you who have feelings for their teachers. Some of the teachers are young (in their 20's) and others are over 50! So you are not alone here and this is perfectly normal!
But what you need to realise is that this is just a crush, this is not love. I know these feelings you have for him will be very strong and I'm sure you are convinced this is love - however you cannot love someone until you are in a real relationship with that person, where you know everything about them, the good bits and the bad bits. You have to have intimacy, and sharing of secrets.
Whereas in your situation, he makes you laugh, you like his smile and his personality. This is not love I'm afraid - yes you have feelings for him and it is a pretty big crush to have lasted 2 years, however it is 100% NOT love.
There really is no need to let him know your feelings, no good can come of it. He will never reciprocate your feelings as you are just his student, he will obviously care about your wellbeing as a student but no more than that. You could also get him into trouble if you start leaving notes for him expressing your feelings - if the whole school knows as you say, then they will be watching you and him very carefully so to start leaving notes might cause problems for him and his career.
So the best thing to do is just leave it alone, dont give him a note and just maybe send him a thank you card for being a good teacher. But DO NOT put any expression of your feelings in there, all it should say is "thanks for being a great teacher, you have made classes really enjoyable and all the best for the future". I'm sure if you have feelings for him then you wont want to get him into trouble or risk his job, so if you really care for him then you wont let him know how you feel. It is inappropriate and not the right thing to do.
Your moving to another school so your feelings will fade over time, the less you see of him then the less you will think about him. Telling him how you feel will not achieve anything and can only cause trouble, so I really hope you dont go ahead with this note.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 September 2010):
It's perfectly natural to feel the way you do. Many young people (especially teenage girls, though some boys too) fancy or have a crush on a teacher at some point. But it's not love. It's a teenage crush on an older man who is mature and perhaps comes across as someone who offers safety and such. You have to understand now, that what you choose to do can not just affect you, but him. I had a friend who had a crush on a teacher, and she told him. They had a relationship. He is now a registered sex offender and has been in prison. He life has been left in tatters. That's an extreme, but it's important you know that you could get him into trouble if you send him a note. You can't risk it. It would be better for you to just accept nothing can happen, and move on.
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