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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 7 April 2011: Just talk to him face to face, and explain that you really love him but you dont feel ready for sex yet, and you are hoping that he will understand and wont push you on the issue. Tell him that you will let him know when you do feel ready, but for ... (read in full...)
Who answers the questions on this site?
Q. Hi Andew Not really sure how I got here virtually!!! Must be on a cloud? who is it that actually answers these questions people have? other users or do you have a staff of lisc. social workers, Ph.d's ect...who purse this site and chime in when th...
A. 6 April 2011: We are just a bunch of normal people happy to give advice to those who need it. We have no professional qualfications (well most of us anyway!) but we are experienced in life and just enjoy helping people out in whatever small way we can.
NEVER... (read in full...)
I usually date skinny girls, my girlfriend is bigger. I'm worried I won't be attracted once she's naked!
Q. Okay so this is a rather simplistic question. I am 16 dating a girl a month younger than me; just to provide you with an age. I usually only date girls who are pretty skinny but I recently fell in love and am dating my best friend who is a little ...
A. 6 April 2011: Quite simply - if you truly love her then you will be attracted to her and think she is the most beautiful girl in the world.
If you are not attracted to her when you see her naked then you are not in love with her - in which case you probably... (read in full...)
My girlfriend told me she had a threesome. Now I want to know with whom!
Q. My girlfriend while being blunt tells me that before meeting me that she previously had a threesome. Should she tell me with who? She brought it up and now I feel like it is a curiousity that will not go away. Should she tell with who or should I ...
A. 6 April 2011: Let it go - if you find out it will only make things worse and create more issues. You think it is a curiosity that wont go away now? Well imagine if you knew the man and the woman - that would be an image in your head that would never go away and ... (read in full...)
Elopement right for me?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have been datikng for 11 months we worked with each other for a year. We both got out of bad 4 year relationships and our first night together (although it was the most amazing night of my life) we agreed to not be in a ...
A. 5 April 2011: I dont think it is the right thing for you to do - you have not been together anywhere near long enough, plus as you said yourself, you shouldnt be getting married just to make other people happy. Of course it would be wonderful if all family an... (read in full...)
Is his mom getting too nosy?
Q. Okay so I've been in a relationship with this wonderful guy for about two and a half months. He's great, and his family adores me. Both of us being hispanic its not uncommon for our parents to hangout and have drinks and such. However, one of these ...
A. 5 April 2011: I dont think saying anything to her would be a good idea - you will only cause a problem and may offend her. After all, if that is how she raises her children then that is her decision, you cant really tell her to stop it because it is her son and ... (read in full...)
Solo travelling - with a girlfriend back home. How do you approach the issue?
Q. Hi guys, I want to go on a solo backpack tour around America in August. I haven't been travelling on my own for years, and just desperarately want to get some time off for myself - off from uni, work, friends, family. I have been in a healthy ...
A. 5 April 2011: Have you seen the film Into The Wild? If not - definitely worth a watch. Might bring a few things into perspective for you.
I understand how you feel - travelling is an incredible experience and you do feel very liberated when you have no plans an... (read in full...)
I'm fifteen and I really want a baby!
Q. I am fifteen and I want a baby so bad!! I know I'm insane because I'm still a kid myself but I just want to have something that's truly mine. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now and we both love each other and want to be together ...
A. 5 April 2011: Well let me start by saying that how you feel is totally normal, we have hundreds of teenage girls that come on this site feeling the same way. It is mainly because of your hormones - once you have started your periods and you are fully into puberty ... (read in full...)
I want her... but NOT her kids!
Q. hi, im 21 years old and i am having an affair. the woman is 32, married with two kids. over the last 6 months we have been having wild sex in hotel rooms and at my place and going out for meals miles out of town. she keeps telling me that she will ...
A. 4 April 2011: Well her and her kids are a package - you cant have one without the other I'm afraid. You must have realised this pretty early on, so it is pretty awful of you to allow this woman to fall for you and cheat on her husband when you are not ready to ... (read in full...)
Does my drunk neighbor owe me an apology?
Q. I sought advice about a relationship issue last week and received wonderful thoughtful advice from the people who responded. Their advice was taken, and it helped immensely. I showed my wife their comments, and I believe an unbiased ,anonymous ...
A. 4 April 2011: Well you would like to think that morals and decency would indicate that yes, you should say sorry when you are out of line, drunk or not.
However, he may be embarassed and wanting to pretend the incident never happened, or maybe he was so intox... (read in full...)
I find him irresistible and I think it is mutual. I know I shouldn't get involved. How do I handle this?
Q. This time last year I was uncertain about whether my teacher 'loved' me or not and I thought it would blow over as soon as I left school. However my teacher also teaches at the college I go to and I teach sessions along with him once a week. I am m...
A. 4 April 2011: Well if you are not going to report him (I know this isnt what you want to hear but he is comitting a crime, and it should worry you that he could be acting this way around other students, children who may be younger than you), then think of it this ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend's new girlfriend is seeking revenge. Please help!
Q. I stupidly got really drunk the other night and came on to my ex-boyfriend when I saw him in a bar. He told me no. I did not know that he had a new girlfriend. Anyway, she has found out that I tried it on with him and has gone completely mental, got ...
A. 4 April 2011: She sounds a bit mad! But in all seriousness, keep a record of the texts she sends, anything she posts on facebook or any facebook messages, and write down the times and durations of any phone calls. If she carries on this way I suggest you go to ... (read in full...)
Should I move away in the hopes of finding a partner?
Q. I have been single now for 18 months and I just don't meet any potential partners anywhere. I can't even get a date using online dating and with the net the rsponse is always because I don't want kids and there seem to be very few women in their ...
A. 4 April 2011: Just did a quick search online and spotted this http://www.babylessdating.com/index.php
Dont know whether there will be many people on there but you could give it a go! Alternatively you could be onto a bit of a moneymaker here, if the site abo... (read in full...)
Does my friend father want me?
Q. I just met my good friends family and lately I have been spending a lot of time at her house. The first time I was there I met her dad and it was fine nothing weird, only when I left he was staring at me it was really odd. So last night I spent. The ...
A. 4 April 2011: Even if he does find you attractive - it doesnt matter! I'm sure you know that you could never date your friend's dad, and I'm sure your friend's dad doesnt want to date you either, he has his own family!
As Flynn 24 said, just try and avoid be... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. Am I still a virgin? I have a sex with my lesbian partner, she finger me. I am worried on what I should answer on my employer if they are asking me if I'm still virgin? I'm totally lost I don't know what to do.......
A. 1 April 2011: Well I'm not sure what you mean by 'sex' here? You said she fingered you - was that all that happened? Do you think fingering someone is sex?
When a boy or girl 'fingers' someone it is called mutual masturbation, not sex. This is basicall... (read in full...)
Is it not normal for a girl to masturbate?
Q. Before you say anything, yes i'm quite aware that i'm a girl, but i mean, from what people say (not online or anything, like in 'reality') it seems as thought girls don't. But i do... At least once a week, usually once a day... But fro...
A. 1 April 2011: Quite simple - most girls masturbate its just they dont like to admit it or talk about it.
We all know men masturbate, that is common knowledge. But girls are not as open about sex and things like masturbation, so us girls tend to keep it quiet... (read in full...)
I'm going to what people call "party land" ..should I be worrying so much?
Q. I know this website is to do with relationships, but i really want some advice! I'm going on holiday with few my best friends this year to the place everyone calls "Party land". It's just tanning and playing on the beach during the day and partying ...
A. 1 April 2011: Well it would help if you said where it was you are going? Some places are worse than others, so it is hard to say without knowing where you are going.
I'm a bit confused why you agreed to go in the first place? You said at first it appealed... (read in full...)
Should I just cancel the dinner with my ex, or is it fine if I see my ex with my bf's acknowledgement? OR would it be really strange if I brought my bf to the dinner as well?
Q. I am currently in a relationship, but my ex wants to meet with me, and I don't know if I should. The relationship with my ex didn't last very long, just a few months. Our break up was pretty mutual, and we agreed to remain friends, and we talked ...
A. 1 April 2011: Well what is he celebrating? If he is celebrating getting engaged, then it would be fine to go for a dinner with him. But if it is anything else, then I would be concerned why he is so eager to celebrate his good news with you?
Think of it this ... (read in full...)
BF is moving to a flat with three social guys. Do you think he will be tempted to cheat?
Q. Hello, I am a 20 year old girl who has been going out with her bf for just over 6 months. We have both said that we love each other and recently, he has mentioned that he has thought about us living together. He also said that he never said it ...
A. 31 March 2011: I think from the sounds of things he just wants some company and some male companionship, there is no harm in that! Look at it this way - if you went to a club with some single female friends, does that mean you would cheat? Of course the answer is ... (read in full...)
Both girls in my life are amazing! What should I do?
Q. Ok, so I've been going out with my girlfriend for 5 months and shes the perfect girlfriend but its just missing something; for instance I used to get jealous when she'd tell me about guys buying her drinks at the bar but now I really don't mind. To ...
A. 31 March 2011: Look Mr 'God forbid I would ever cheat on my girlfriend' - here is a wake up call - you are cheating on her already and have been since you met this other woman. You are having an emotional affair and this is just as bad, if not worse than a purely ... (read in full...)
How can I get more attracted to my BF? Or ...find another guy!
Q. I don't find my boyfriend really attractive, I said I would go out with him, because he is the only guy that has EVER shown any interest in me... I have tried everything to become more attracted to my bf because he really loves me! But I don't re...
A. 31 March 2011: You have to break up with him - it is very unfair and unkind to string him along when you are not attracted to him. If he loves you then of course it will hurt him when you break up with him, but you will hurt him more in the long run if you stay ... (read in full...)
Should I continue dating this guy ? (one red flag)
Q. I met a guy from an online site sunday for a drink...it went well..the bar was dark so apart of me was thinking maybe we wont even know if we are truly attracted you know? He seems like a very genuine guy (but i am still cautious from past ...
A. 31 March 2011: Just give it more time - Facebook should never be used as an indicator of someone's personality or how they live their lives. If you look on this site Facebook tends to be the downfall of so many relationships, and causes so many issues when dating. ... (read in full...)
Can I still think of myself as a virgin since my ex had a small penis?
Q. Is it possible to think you're still a virgin after you've had sex a few times??? Im asking this cuz my ex had a small penis and im ready to have sex with my new partner but im afraid cuz he has a 9 inch penis... Give me your opinions...
A. 31 March 2011: Sorry I'm trying not to laugh here - you have had sex! Of course you are not a virgin! I really dont understand why, after having sex a number of times, you then start thinking 'oh I'm a virgin again because he was only small' - that is just ... (read in full...)
Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 30 March 2011: Absolutely not!!! Afraid you are wrong on this one, just because a man masturbates to images of women does not mean he is going to cheat. If he is chatting to other women online, using dating sites, facebook etc then yes that would indicate he may ... (read in full...)
Can anybody give me some advice as to how I can go about making my dream come true?
Q. This may seem like a weird question but I really need some help. (I'm from the UK) and my ex is from the US. We split up around 10months ago. However when we were together, we was starting to plan my move over there etc. When we split up, I wasn't ...
A. 30 March 2011: Try researching throughly online and looking at jobs in the US that will utlise your skill set. Also, try speaking to a law firm that specialises in immigration to the US (like this one http://www.solutionsinlaw.co.uk/) as they will be able to help ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him to leave his girlfriend or just walk away?
Q. Hi everyone got a bit of a issue and would love all opinions on it. I started a new job about 6 months ago and I met this guy there which I got along with great straight away. We were always flirting and he got a new girlfriend who lives on the...
A. 30 March 2011: I'm sorry to say this but I have seen this hundreds of times on this website and the outcome is ALWAYS the same - you are the other woman, and the man will never leave his partner for the other woman. Thefore there is no hope for you in this ... (read in full...)
40 year age gap, is it worth the envitable heartache?
Q. Hi, I'm 27 and dating a man who is 68. We have been together almost a year and some of our friends and family know but I do often question my sanity for dating someone so much older. Before starting this relationship I had a few longer ones with men ...
A. 30 March 2011: This really is very simple - what do you want from life? What is important to you?
You mentioned marriage and a family - is this what you want? Because obviously he cannot give you this, so if that is what you want then you are indeed wasting ... (read in full...)
Am I too pushy or selfish about moving in together?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have bin together for a year and seven months.Im 25 just turned in Feb and hes 24 he turns 25 in May. I work two jobs one full time and one part time he works nights and goes to school full time. I plan on attending grad ...
A. 30 March 2011: Just talk to him - there is no point in speculating about why he is dragging his feet or wondering what is going on in his head, simply tell him everything you have told us and get to the bottom of it.
I understand both sides of the situatio... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to my friends with benefits guy?
Q. Long story short i have a Friend with Benefits we have met before, but we Haven't yet met up for 'sexual favours' and I know that he just wants me for sex and sh*t, but that's all I looking for anyways but I'm a virgin (he knows this) ...
A. 29 March 2011: That still makes no difference - your first time should not be with a FWB, regardless of who started it.
And I promise you this - when you meet the right guy, you wont be shit at relationships anymore because with the right person, it will all... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity to my friends with benefits guy?
Q. Long story short i have a Friend with Benefits we have met before, but we Haven't yet met up for 'sexual favours' and I know that he just wants me for sex and sh*t, but that's all I looking for anyways but I'm a virgin (he knows this) ...
A. 29 March 2011: Absolutely not! I cant begin to tell you how important your first time is and how much you will regret it if you lose your virginity to someone you dont love and who doesnt love you.
You only have on chance at losing your virginity, and it shoul... (read in full...)
Does anyone know if hypnosis, or any other sort of alternative therapy works for self acceptance?
Q. How can I accept myself? It seems so difficult. I like my personality, my brains... I just don't like my looks. And sadly, appearance is the most obvious part of a person. I feel like I'm never thin, despite being at a normal weight, I still get ...
A. 28 March 2011: It sounds to me like you have body dysmorphia so I suggest you speak to a doctor who can refer you to a therapist. No amount of people on here will convince you that you are not ugly and men don't want what the media portray - you have some very ... (read in full...)
I feel ready to lose my virginity, but am I wrong to think this way?
Q. I am a 15 year old Christian girl who likes to take a, as my mom would say "ride on the wild side". and lately i've had one thing on my mind when im near my bf. well actually more then one but them all leading to the same thing. SEX I am a virgin a...
A. 28 March 2011: Well thinking about sex and actually having sex are 2 very different things! Thinking about sex is totally normal for teenagers, your hormones are running wild so of course as you go through puberty sex will be on your mind a lot, especially when ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with all the issues surrounding dating a man 20 years my senior?
Q. I am in my 20s and have recently started seeing a guy 20yrs my senior. We have been friends for years prior to dating each other. He is stable, but not wealthy, and I have a good job and support myself - I am not looking for a sugar daddy ...
A. 28 March 2011: Ok, question 1 first:
1. Other people's comments - simply say in a polite manner that you have a great relationship and are very happy together, therefore unless they have something constructive to say then you would rather they kept their opin... (read in full...)
Why is my ex still talking about me and telling friends she loves me when she has a new boyfriend?
Q. Here's a weird one...Today I get a phone call from my best friend telling me he saw my ex girlfriend in town and she kept asking how I am and when I'll never be in town....then another mate tells me last night his gf and my ex gf were talking and...
A. 28 March 2011: Sounds like she still loves you and wants to talk to you. Have you tried calling her? Sounds like you still love her too seen as you are on this site asking the same question over and over again so just get on with it and call her, tell her how you ... (read in full...)
I cry too much!
Q. I have a sort of strange problem...It's that I cry too much. I'll cry at almost anything. Whether it be on tv, or in a movie, or just from a story. It's not like I want to cry. Half the time I do I'm sitting there asking myself "Why am I crying?" I ...
A. 28 March 2011: Well crying easily and too much can be a sign of a number of things - you should go to see a doctor.
In some people it can indicate depression - but it doesnt sound like you are depressed, you just cry easily and are a sensitive person.
Most... (read in full...)
I don't want to be 40 years old and coming home to a computer, not a husband!
Q. Im just curious here but im in a LDR and have been for around 2years and a half. I met him online and yes I have met him. We have many ups and downs and have had some incredibly low times where you would think we would break up but havent. We ...
A. 28 March 2011: Well the other option would be to make yourself a 'skilled worker' so you can get a job in Canada and stay there. We are not living in the 1940's where marriage is all women are good for, you can go to school, college, university etc and study so ... (read in full...)
What makes a guy ask a girl to marry him?
Q. Hey, I'd love some advice, esp. from any male readers, about what makes a guy ask a girl to marry him. What is it in a girl that would make her marriage material? What would make you not want to marry a girl? I'm asking because I've bee...
A. 28 March 2011: Look, I really wouldnt worry yourself too much about this, it sounds like your relationship is great and will be heading for marriage eventually, so just be patient and enjoy being together!
You both want the same things, he has spoken about gr... (read in full...)
Why do I look smaller when I'm the same size?
Q. I am a petite girl with a large chest. I've always thought I was a 32DD but when I got measured the other day I was told that I'm a 30FF. Why is it that other women who are a 34FF or 36FF have really huge breasts but mine aren't as huge as theirs ...
A. 28 March 2011: The 30, 32, 34 etc measurement is the width of your back, not your actual cup size. So it is nothing to do with the size of your breasts, just the size of your back basically.
So, as harsh as this is, women who are say 36FF are just fatter t... (read in full...)
My mom says he says that to all the visitors!
Q. i met this boy in the bahamas he works on the beach and i thought it was love at first site he keeps telling me to move to florda so we can live together and get married my mother told me he says that to all the visiters..i have my money saved up ...
A. 25 March 2011: NO!!! Listen to your mom - she is 100% right on this. Often when locals, who have poorly paid jobs (like your beach guy), meet tourists who are on holiday they spot the money a mile off and think that if they can persuade the tourist to fall in love ... (read in full...)
Put your hands up in the air if you agree that studying SUCKS!
Q. Hiyaaaa!!! It's almost end of March and I have the most agony test during the end of May and they determind whether I get in University or not (another word I'm doing my AS) It's bloody annoying because I've lost motivation and whenever I d...
A. 24 March 2011: I remember my A levels very well, the pressure is enormous so I do really feel for you. Everyone when they are studying feels like they want to give up at some point, at times it seems hopeless and like you will never do well so you might as well ... (read in full...)
How do you tell a guy you won't go any further in the relationship until he is well off?
Q. I met a really nice divorced man a while ago and we started a relationship in which we were both happy, and even discussed marriage and children. However lately I have realised how much it actually costs to raise and school a child. (I don't have ...
A. 23 March 2011: I think you should just be honest with him but be careful about your choice of words. Saying "well off" makes you sound like a gold-digger, and that you wont committ to him unless he is rich. But the reality is that you need him to be financially ... (read in full...)
She broke up with her fiance, do I sent an email offering my condolence?
Q. I'm pretty sure of what the answer to my question is, but I thought I could get a little input. Several years ago, my girlfriend and I at the time decided to break up.(Of course this is just before high school, so whether someone can call that a ...
A. 22 March 2011: Leave it be - it would be totally inappropriate for you to contact her. You are right in saying that you would come off as snide, because you would look like you are happy about her failed relationship. And there is always the other issue that it ... (read in full...)
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