A
female
age
26-29,
*nonymous1996
writes:Long story short i have a Friend with Benefitswe have met before, but we Haven't yet met up for 'sexual favours'and I know that he just wants me for sex and sh*t, but that's all I looking for anywaysbut I'm a virgin (he knows this)whats your opinion?
View related questions:
friend with benefits Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): Now, you have to be extremely careful with this kind of situation. I'll be honest and say I lost my virginity to a Friend with Benefits and I'm happy with my decision due to me and my FWB not wanting any kind of formal relationship. But, what you have to be careful of is becoming a conquest to this FWB. Being a conquest is one of the most hurtful thing especially if you get emotionally attached easily. Just stay wary and don't let him take advantage of you until you're ready emotionally and physically, and if things to turn sexual get yourself protected and make sure he does the same.
A
female
reader, CuppenZeCake  +, writes (30 March 2011):
 Different opinions everywhere! I have a friend like that and I'm not the only girl he sees, but I find myself okay with that because he treats me SO well and as far as I know, differently. I was close to him and was flattered because he liked me. I'd say yes :) because really, all I want is to have a lot of FWB....go for it! But if you doubt it or feel unsafe, get out yo!
...............................
A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Your still very young, do you really want to cheapen yourself at such an early age?What about all the stories he "will" tell his friends?Do you want all the guys thinking that "they" can have you too? Because that's what most of them will be thinking. It won't be too long before you start to wonder if, when a guy asks you out, whether he really likes you, or he just wants to get laid. What will all your friends think of you. How will Mom and Dad feel when they hear that their little girl is the town SLUT? Don't kid yourself, they will hear about it!Be smart. If respect yourself, others will too.Remember, youth is fleeting, regret lasts a life time!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Only if you want to live a life full of regret that you did that and it wasn't someone "special".Really, you are special, and you should be someone special to someone else.That can make it really special.Lots of people "lose it" when they are drunk with nonspecial people and they feel like shit over it.Or, worse, they think they are someone special, to the other person, who after they've "done it" doesn't want to see them again and they realize they weren't special at all, and the only thing was that they were virgins.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 March 2011):
 NO... NO NO NO!
DO NOT do it.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Hey, you seriously shouldn't do it. I did and after meeting someone who I really connected with, I really wish I'd have waited and did it with someone who I really cared about. It should be special not just for the sake of doing it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): You do realize that unless you are drunk or something you will always remember him. You always remember your first. Is he someone you always want to remember?
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 Like you say, 14 or 15 does not make a difference, in terms of life experience.
Yet, if you were 24 or 25 I'd tell you the same : don't waste your first time on an FWB.
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous1996 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Anonymous1996 is verified as being by the original poster of the question im 15 also, haha
my birthday's in january.
(i realise it doesnt make a difference, haha, but its weird that u all assume im 14)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 March 2011):
I totally concur with k c100- the first time should not be with a FWB. You'd be shortchanging yourself.
As for you not being good at relationships...... sorry ,but my comment can only be :
hehehe.
At 14. You have decided " you are not good at relationships ".
Based, surely, upon your extensive life experience, depth of meaningful interactions with partners, and total, crystal-clear knowledge of yourself,mind and body.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (29 March 2011):
 That still makes no difference - your first time should not be with a FWB, regardless of who started it.
And I promise you this - when you meet the right guy, you wont be shit at relationships anymore because with the right person, it will all work out. If you have had bad experiences with relationships in the past then that is because it wasnt the right person, or the right time. So dont write off relationships entirely, you are only 14 and it will all come with time. When you meet someone special, it will all be totally different!
...............................
A
female
reader, Anonymous1996 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Anonymous1996 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for the answers, and i just thought i should add a few details:
It was my idea to be FwB
I'm the one who is shit at relationships and just wants 'sex' and other things
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (29 March 2011):
No, don't throw away your first time with someone who does not give a shit about you, your psychological comfort or your physical satisfaction.
That may give you a spoiled perspective about sex for the rest of your life. Don't let the scratching of a temporary sexual itch ruin your chances of a happy, healthy future sex life.
...............................
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (29 March 2011):
Absolutely not! I cant begin to tell you how important your first time is and how much you will regret it if you lose your virginity to someone you dont love and who doesnt love you.
You only have on chance at losing your virginity, and it should be a special experience that you look back on with good memories, not something that you look back on when you are older and wish that you had waited to be in a relationship with someone who truly cares about you.
If you search this site you will see hundreds of men that come on this site with problems about their girlfriend's pasts (its called retroactive jealousy) - they hate the idea of their girlfriends being promiscous and slutty in the past. Imagine in maybe a year or so, when you meet a great guy and get serious with him, when you have to tell him that a) you are not a virgin b) you lost your virginity aged 14 and c) that it was casual sex? How do you think a guy will react when he finds out that you were having casual sex aged 14? He wont want to know you because he will think you have no morals and no standards, and he wont be able to look at you the same way ever again.
I know sex might seem fun now, and of course your hormones are raging so you think about sex a lot. That is perfectly natural. But you have to be a bit mature here and think carefully about this - this is a decision you have to live with for the rest of your life. Sex should be special, not something you give away to any random guy just because he wants it. It connects 2 people in a way you cannot imagine, it brings you closer, and especially for women it makes you emotionally attached to that guy. So this guy is just wanting to use you for sex, and you will end up attached to him when he wont feel anything for you - you will end up feeling hurt, sad, alone and used.
Please please dont lose your virginity to him, just wait until you have met a lovely guy who wants to be with you for YOU, not just for sex. I'm not saying wait until you are married here, just wait until you have met a nice guy and have been in a relationship for a while and are in love. That way when you look back on your first time, even if you dont stay with that guy forever, you will still be pleased that you waited until it was with the right guy - not just some hormonal little teenager who only wanted you for one thing. Being used is not nice, I promise you and as much as you think 'well I only want sex too' - the way the female brain works means that after you have had sex with him you wont feel the same, you will be incredibly attached to him and will want more from him, whereas he will probably never want to see you again because he got what he wanted from you.
And if you still dont listen to any of our advice - please listen to this bit - use a condom and get birth control! You really dont want to be having a baby with a friends with benefits guy, so get birth control sorted out before you even go near his penis. And you definitely dont want a STD, so condoms are a MUST. If you are going to throw away your virginity, at least do it safely. You dont want any extra regrets like pregnancy or STD's.
I hope this helps and good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): NO do not you will regret it the rest of your life.
...............................
|
