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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 18 May 2011: It doesnt sound like you are doing anything wrong at all, dont worry!
I think all it is is that you would really like a relationship, you simply want to meet a nice girl and enjoy all the things that come with relationships. Some guys your age... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 16 May 2011: Well in that case I think you should just get the top back and that will be that over and done with. If she has a new man in her life chances are it wont mean much to her anymore, I think it sounds more like you are hoping it means something rather ... (read in full...)
Don't want to live in my bf's parents house anymore but don't know what to do.
Q. I don't think I need any advice as such... I guess I just need somewhere to say how I'm feeling about things at the moment. I'll warn you now, this is going to be very long. Just to give you little insight - Me and my boyfriend met over the int...
A. 16 May 2011: I will apologise in advance if any of this comes across as harsh to you, it is not intended to upset you but it is hard to find sympathy in this case, so I may sound harsh in some instances.
Let me just say it right away - it pretty much is your ... (read in full...)
When should I just accept it is never going to happen for me?
Q. At what point should a guy who's never had a girlfriend, never kissed, held hands, or ever had anything more than a friendly hug from a girl just accept that it's never going to happen for them? Let's be realistic here, after a certain age and no ...
A. 16 May 2011: As adamantine has said, what are you doing to change the situation?
Without knowing that I cant really say if you should just give up aged 25, it seems a bit much to me that at such a young age you would have decided to give up already! Unless y... (read in full...)
I may never see my ex again after the next time we meet... should I ask for my possessions back?
Q. Hi all, When me and my girlfriend of 4 months were together, I would often leave a long sleeved hooded top at hers. Eventually it got to the point where I would never take it with me. When we split up back in February due to the fact that I'm le...
A. 16 May 2011: To be honest this seems like a bit of a fuss over nothing. Do you actually want the hooded top back? If you want it back - then ask for it. If you dont really care about it, then just leave it.
As for being friends with her - you still have fee... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to catch up with the ex from time to time?
Q. I sometimes catch up with my 1st love..like we talk a few times in a year... I'm no longer in love with him. But the fact is,i always feel happy when i talk to him. A few days ago, i thought about catching up with him after almost 4 months...
A. 16 May 2011: Quite simply - if you had no feelings for your ex anymore then you would not need him in your life to feel 'happy and calm'.
You have everything you need (supposedly) from your current partner, whom you intend to marry. Therefore you should n... (read in full...)
Torn between 4 guys! Help!
Q. OMG! I'm torn between 4 guys!! D: I like boy number 1 and boy number 2 who are brothers, and always look at me. Boy number 3 is older, hes 19 while im 15, and he's going off to college soon. And boy number 4 is just one year older than me, and he's ...
A. 16 May 2011: Ok, well I will look at this guy by guy:
Guys 1 & 2 - are brothers, so if they both like you (you have not said if any of these guys actually like you, just that they look at you which means nothing) then you cant date one of them, otherwis... (read in full...)
Am I exaggerating?
Q. Hi, I'm having a baby in August and my husband wants my inlaws to come two weeks before I'm suppose to give birth. I told him that it was a bad idea because I did not know how I was going to feel. And his family didn't know how to act and that ...
A. 13 May 2011: Not at all, if you are working right up until the end then it is very inconsiderate of your partner to ask for them to come and visit 2 weeks before you are due. Plus, there is always a chance the baby could come a bit early, and 2 weeks early is ... (read in full...)
Please give me suggesstion what shall I do?
Q. i am female of age 20. i am in love with man who is married and has three kids. he love me first and put proposals. i refused and said its not good. then he said me he cannot live without me. he will die, but still he says me he wants his family as ...
A. 13 May 2011: The only solution is for you to be brave and leave him, for good. I know you love him and feel like you cant leave him, but you have no future with this man and there is nothing left for you to do but leave. He has his happy little family, and then ... (read in full...)
I'm ready now, but he isn't. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. We are very close and care so much for each other. It's like having a best friend and a boyfriend in one, and I'm really happy, but I'm getting a little frustrated with the fact that we aren't having ...
A. 13 May 2011: Gosh you are impatient arent you! Answers have to be approved on this site, so they can take hours, sometimes days to come through!
As for your actual problem - no you are not wrong to feel this way, it is natural to want your relation... (read in full...)
Internet love gone wrong...
Q. Hey :) Okay i really need some help x im 15 years old and well im on a couple of teenage dating websites, i only joined them at first to make some friends but i met this really lovely guy. Hes so sweet and we clicked ...
A. 13 May 2011: Well looks are important - I know you dont want to seem shallow, but you cant have a relationship if you are not attracted to your partner, it will never last if you are not attracted to him.
So I guess this is up to you - was his picture ... (read in full...)
How can I feel better about my appearance?
Q. So I was recently talking to my boyfriend and I mentioned that I don't like myself and feel fat. He then gave me a big speech about how much he loves me and that I look beautiful and attractive, even though I am overweight(though not obese, I'm 5'2" ...
A. 13 May 2011: I am 5"3 and I weigh 154lbs, so we are very similar! I am now 23 and I have come to terms with my weight, yes I dont look like a skinny model but I have curves in all the right places, I run 3 times a week and have just completed my first 10k ... (read in full...)
Our relationship ended. but now I want to talk. How do I open negotiations to re-start our relationship?
Q. I want to be happy. Im going to be happy with my boyfriend, we're going to be happy. And we're going to shut everybody else out. But right now, i need help, okay he's called all that day when i ended it. And now today's the second day and no call...
A. 13 May 2011: Sorry this doesnt make much sense! You ended the relationship? But now you say you want to be happy with him? So why on earth did you break up with him if you want to be with him?!
You cant just break up with him, ignore him and then expect h... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife to get professional help or hope she straightens things out herself?
Q. I have been married to my wife for 6 months. She is a medical professional. One of her co-workers contacted me to ask me if she has problems because she is not enthusiastic or energetic about her work like she used to be, and made a “joke” about ...
A. 11 May 2011: It sounds actually like she might be having problems with your relationship rather than having a medical/mental health problem.
From her comment of “I feel insignificant but useful when necessary” this indicates she is feeling used by you, cha... (read in full...)
What would represent a creative, memorable, thoughtful, romantic proposal of marriage that I could arrange?
Q. what are some creative, thoughtful ways to propose to your girlfriend? i know it sounds terrible that i'm having to ask, but i've just never been very good at this sort of thing. i try so hard and love her very much. i just want to make this ...
A. 11 May 2011: I think the most important thing is that is has come from YOU and it has come from your heart. You could arrange the most lavish and romantic proposal in the world but if it was not your idea and you were not entirely sure of what you are doing, it ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you like tall girls?
Q. Question for the guys, Do guys prefer a woman to be tall? Not taller than them, but not too short? Why do some guys dislike dating short women? Is is to do with the sex? lol ...
A. 9 May 2011: Well I am not male, but I am a short girl! I am only 5"3, so pretty small....and I have never struggled to find a guy. I have even dated men who are over 6ft!
There are all kinds of men that like all kinds of women. Some men like tall women, l... (read in full...)
Advice on buying a puppy?
Q. ok what i was wondering is advise about buying a puppy chihuahua , ok heres wht i waan know : 1) do you HAVE to have a crate for it or could i just have it in a bed straight away coz i havent got money for crate . 2) with making sure it doesnt w...
A. 9 May 2011: Ok to answer your questions in order:
1. A crate is VERY important, it trains the puppy to sleep in one place, not to roam around at night, stops it from chewing your entire house and from weeing or pooing anywhere. It is an important part of toil... (read in full...)
My girlfriend might be moving away for University.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for four years now and we have a very stable, happy relationship. Last week everything took a bit of a shake, as I found out she had feelings for another guy (not huge feelings... but feelings) and It reall...
A. 9 May 2011: serenity80 is absolutely right here, I know it hurts but it is just a fact of life I'm afraid.
If you have been together for 4 years, and she is going to Uni in September, that would make her 17/18 right? So you have been together since you were... (read in full...)
Is my plan to propose to her...a bit too cheesy? What do you all think?
Q. Hi all. I just wanted some input on this plan I have. My girlfriend and I have been together for two years (I was 17, she was 14 when we met seven years ago) and she's graduating from her community college to be an RN the day that I come back from...
A. 9 May 2011: Not too cheesy, it sounds lovely!
My only advice would be, as the others have said, propose when you are alone, not in front of everyone else. When she is having her photos etc it is HER moment, when she is centre of attention and she should b... (read in full...)
I just don't feel anything for him other than friendship! What should I do?
Q. There's this guy that likes me in my year. When I say like I mean, he literally worships me. He makes me cake, buys me things, invites me out. He practically does anything for me. Thing is. I've been out with him before and I just don't feel any...
A. 5 May 2011: Just have a quiet word with him (in person) and explain that his behaviour is getting a bit too intense and you feel uncomfortable hence you would like him to maybe back off a little bit. Explain that you have talked about this before and he knows ... (read in full...)
Does grammar matter when people communicate today? Or is it a lost cause? What's your pet grammar issue?
Q. First off I will admit it: sometimes I mis-spell words. And another thing, sometimes when I'm in a hurry I abbreviate some words. And when I was at University I used to have the best set of abbreviations in Contract Law. If I needed to refer to ...
A. 5 May 2011: My pet hates:
1. Text speak. It drives me up the wall! all these stupid words like 'dat' instead of 'that', 'abt' instead of 'about' etc. Sometimes people will even write words in txt speak that even have the same number of characters as the orig... (read in full...)
I feel like no one will ever date me. What do girls do to get boys interested in that and want to date them?
Q. ok i'm a thirteen year old girl who is confused i feel like no one will ever date me i would love to know what to do i feel lonely and hurt is it just that in ugly or something is it just the fact that i'm not like perfect or absolutely perfectly ...
A. 5 May 2011: I remember when I was 13 I too thought no boy would ever want me and it is a really tough time. But when I was 15 I got my first boyfriend and have never struggled to get a boyfriend since!
I can promise you now, there is absolutely NOTHING ... (read in full...)
She has stopped texting me, what does it mean?
Q. I told my classmate that i like her but through text only. She said that she only likes me as a friend, and after that she stopped texting me. What does it mean?...
A. 5 May 2011: Maybe you should take some time to read the message again - she told you she does not like you, she doesnt want a relationship with you and just wants to be friends.
There is no mysterious meaning here - she turned you down I'm afraid and now ... (read in full...)
Which of these 2 scenarios is worse?
Q. I'm Doing a bit of introspection and have a very strange hypothetical question to ask: Which is worse; A) A guy who's a great provider, not very affectionate or caring, never helps out around the house, spends hardly any time with his kids bu...
A. 4 May 2011: I would say they are both as bad as each other and I cant pick one which is 'worse' - they are both unforgiveable and would end a marriage/relationship in my opinion.
However the only thing that may swing it, to make the cheater the worse of... (read in full...)
Does being in a romantic relationship contribute to happiness?
Q. Does being in a romantic relationship contribute to happiness? Romantic relationship meaning a committed, stable, relationship. you also must be with the same person for at least 2 years....
A. 4 May 2011: Well a stable committed relationship is always going to make you happier than if you are in an unstable, non-committed relationship isnt it!
Having a partner who cheats, wont commit to a future with you, breaks up with you frequently, is emotiona... (read in full...)
Update: Why is this teacher acting like this
Q. I know you’re all going to think I’m being childish here, but please hear me out. I’m 18, and very mature for my age.I don't really understand body language. Last year, I met my college lecturer, and we hit it off straight away. There was one point ...
A. 4 May 2011: I think he is being more than a teacher now and it is getting scary, his behaviour is totally inappropriate and you need to do something about it.
I cant say if he has a crush on you, if he has feelings with you....etc because no-one apart fr... (read in full...)
Why do I suddenly feel so sad and betrayed when I see pictures of the Royal wedding?
Q. Last week as we all know, was the Royal wedding in England. Well when the news broke out of the engagement and i accidentally read an article about it, i suddenly felt REALLY sad and i guess a bit jealous. A lot of people may have felt that way, but ...
A. 4 May 2011: Can you explain what it is about the royal wedding that upsets you? Are you jealous that they are married (meaning you want to get married too)? Are you jealous that she has prince william now and you have a crush on him?
I cant really help unl... (read in full...)
I wanted to become celibate, but my boyfriend threatened to leave me
Q. I wanted to become celibate but my boyfriend threatened to leave me..... clearly he cannot respect my decision... What do i do? But he claims he loves me so much....
A. 28 April 2011: Why did you want to become celibate? Had you been sexually active with him in the past, then suddenly decide you want to be celibate? Or have you always wanted to be celibate and are still a virgin? Please give a bit more information befo... (read in full...)
Guys, I feel I've been left behind. Do you think anyone could give me some pointers or an action plan to get me connecting with girls?
Q. Not really sure what I hope to accomplish with this. If anything it just helps to write it out. Any advice would be appreciated. This really isn't the kind of thing that guys talk to their friends or family about. The thing that's been really both...
A. 28 April 2011: Well as much as you might go out with friends, when people tell you to 'get out there and be confident' it means approach women when you are out! You could go out every night of the week, and have hundreds of different hobbies, but if you never ... (read in full...)
The guy I dated on vacation turns out to be my new teacher! Can we keep things a secret?
Q. I was on a holiday with my friends three months ago and one night we were out in a club and we met a few guys thinking nothing of it i got really close to one of them and we kind of just stuck together for the rest of the holiday we had a great time ...
A. 27 April 2011: You can only have a relationship with him once you are over the age of 18 and are no longer a student at the same school as him. Otherwise there is a very good chance he will get fired, go to jail, be put on the sex offenders register and his life ... (read in full...)
Do girls get pleasure from anal sex?
Q. Hi, I have never had anal sex so I always wonder do gals derive pleasure out of it?...
A. 27 April 2011: Well I personally do not, I have tried it a couple of times in the past and always found it painful and uncomfortable, even when using lube.
But it is a personal thing, I am sure there are plenty of women who like it and plenty of women who dont... (read in full...)
Do women like nice guys with confidence?
Q. Through out my life I've never scored with a women. I've had them as friends, but never anything more. In my eyes, it was because I've never tried anything, always playing it safe, but now I've become more confident with myself and I'm still a nice ...
A. 26 April 2011: Well I am female, aged 23, and I have never ever dated a 'bad boy' - I am simply not interested!
I am quite simple when it comes to guys, if they are funny, attractive, confident, intelligent and have good manners then I am a happy girl! I am not... (read in full...)
Ladies, would an effeminate man who had a male roomate at forty and flirted with younger students attract you?
Q. I asked a q before about a guy who may be gay. He is good lookong, very intelligent and highly educated. He is effeminate but he doesn't dress "gay." However, mamy people who meet him for the first time think he is. His colleagues think he is. ...
A. 26 April 2011: He doesnt sound like much of a catch to be honest! Any man above the age of 30 should not be living with anyone else, whether that is parents, roomates, friends etc....it is a clear sign that either a) he cannot afford to live alone, or b) is not ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me like this if we are just friends with benefits?
Q. **I realize it is long, but please... just read it I have an FwB, but we act like we are bf/gf (just that there are no strings). He knows I like him a little, and he said he is starting to like me (not sure if that has changed or not, i ...
A. 26 April 2011: Ok first things first - you are not 'friends with benefits' and I am very pleased at your age that this is the case! FWB is where you basically have no strings attached sex with a friend. So you are not having sex with a stranger, but you are not in ... (read in full...)
What are the odds of getting pregnant if we use a condom and he pulls out?
Q. i know this isnt one hundred percent safe, but do i have a good chance of not getting pregnant if we use a condom, and pull out. i know the pulling out doesnt do much... i just want opinions, i know what is the safest. just answer the question ...
A. 26 April 2011: Well if you use a condom then you are 97% safe against getting pregnant. The pulling out business makes no difference at all.
The best way to be safe is to take birth control and use a condom - that way you are protected against STD's and unwa... (read in full...)
If we're both fifteen...what happens if we want to have a baby?
Q. What iF You're 15 And You And Your Boyfriend Want To Have A Baby?!?...
A. 26 April 2011: First things first - having a baby when the age of the mother is under 20 puts both you and your baby at some prety major risks of birth defects and health problems. Here are the main ones:
- Teenage mothers are less likely to gain adequate... (read in full...)
Could taking a shower after sex somehow get me pregnant?
Q. i didn't get any clear answers from this last time, so im asking again, and making my question clearer, my boyfriend ejaculated onto my breasts and stomach. we did not have sex!!!( i want to make it clear, we didn't have sex, or use the "pull ou...
A. 26 April 2011: Absolutely no chance of that happening, sperm cannot survive in water. They can only survive if they are inside the vagina (as in he ejaculated inside your vagina).
The only way to get pregnant is if he ejaculates inside you. There is always a... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is shooting blanks
Q. Hey guys I need a little help... Me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for 3 months now and wev still not got pregnant Im 21 and already have 2 kids from a previous relationship and my boyfriends 30 and doesnt have any kids Iv been pr...
A. 21 April 2011: Well you can try it, you will probably be wasting your money though as they will be nowhere near as accurate as a doctor running tests on both you and your partner. I honestly think stopping smoking and buying an ovulation kit will have far be... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is shooting blanks
Q. Hey guys I need a little help... Me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for 3 months now and wev still not got pregnant Im 21 and already have 2 kids from a previous relationship and my boyfriends 30 and doesnt have any kids Iv been pr...
A. 21 April 2011: The smoking will be having a far bigger effect than the drinking, so if you and your boyfriend are going to stop anything, it MUST be the smoking (and the drugs). Even if it is just your boyfriend that smokes, it is significantly lowering his sperm ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: It sounds to me then like there are a whole heap of issues here, and porn is the least of your problems. If it really is the case that he is not willing to work on the marriage, you feel you have done all you can and he is making no effort - well ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is shooting blanks
Q. Hey guys I need a little help... Me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for 3 months now and wev still not got pregnant Im 21 and already have 2 kids from a previous relationship and my boyfriends 30 and doesnt have any kids Iv been pr...
A. 20 April 2011: Look just be patient - the doctors know what they are talking about, and you need to have been trying for 12 months before you can worry about being infertile.
Have you recently stopped taking birth control? For example the pill can take up to 6 ... (read in full...)
My husband is a cheater, but I'm in a dilemna if I leave him
Q. My husband and I have been together 6 years, married for 5. We have 3 children. About 2 months ago I call him while he was out with his friends and instead of pushing end on the cell he push talk by accident. I heard him getting it on with a girl ...
A. 20 April 2011: Wow. I am so sorry you are in this situation with this awful man, no-one deserves to be treated the way he treats you.
All I can say is that you MUST leave, regardless of anything he has hit you and he is a danger to your safety, which means he... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: Ok, to answer your questions one by one:
1. Do men ever stop watching porn once they have started? Very unlikely, in most cases they will continue to use porn.
2. Are there many men who chose not to watch it, whether in a relationship or not? No ... (read in full...)
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