A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I stupidly got really drunk the other night and came on to my ex-boyfriend when I saw him in a bar. He told me no. I did not know that he had a new girlfriend. Anyway, she has found out that I tried it on with him and has gone completely mental, got hold of my phone number and sending me abuse and also on facebook Ive had threatening texts and phone calls. She is convinced something happened between us even though we have both told her that nothing happened and I didnt realise he had a new gf. Not only that but shes also turning a lot of people against me, banning me from a couple of bars that she works in (and even the managers are siding with her so I cant complain to them)and going round telling people that Im the one bullying her!! She keeps asking me to meet her so she can 'rip my head off' and to be honest I am quite willing to meet her so this can all be sorted out. But really I dont want any trouble. I'm a mother in my late twenties and so is she. I just made a mistake, why cant she see that? Ive already apologised to her.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 April 2011):
 She sounds a bit mad! But in all seriousness, keep a record of the texts she sends, anything she posts on facebook or any facebook messages, and write down the times and durations of any phone calls. If she carries on this way I suggest you go to the police and get a restraining order on her, so you need evidence. In the mean time, once you have recorded everything from your phone and online, ring your mobile phone service provider and ask them to block her phone number. That way she wont be able to call you or text you but you can still keep the same number. Also edit your privacy settings on your facebook so she cant have access to your page, and block her from messaging you on there too. I think she is obviously a controlling, jealous sort of person with anger issues, it is not your fault what happened and if you have apologised that is all you can do. Nothing happened anyway, so if she cant believe her own boyfriend that is their problem, not yours. I think she sounds a bit unstable and to threaten you over something so small is ridiculous, you need to be careful here as her behaviour sounds unpredictable and bordering on being violent. Dont go to meet her, just block all possible ways for her to contact you and let this blow over. She is venting all her anger at you rather than dealing with the problem by talking to her boyfriend, and you need to leave her to it. If she cant get to you, she might actually get over it or at least talk to her boyfriend about it. You are a mother, you dont want to be putting yourself into potentially dangerous situations by meeting unstable people like her, so stay away from her as much as you can. As for the bars - I think you are just going to have to take the hit on this and find new places to go out. It is not the end of the world if you cant get into a couple of places, and if it means you avoid trouble then it is worth it. If you block her from contacting you and look at getting a restraining order if she continues with this behaviour, then you will have proven it is her stalking and bullying you, not the other way around so she wony be able to go around saying that anymore. But I think you should just try and ignore it and let it blow over - go to some different bars and pubs, block her from contacting you in any way, and just avoid her and your ex. If she cant get to you she will soon get bored and find a new victim to take her anger out on. If she doesnt move on and still continues to harass you - then get the police involved. Having anyone threaten you and say things like she wants to rip your head off is a crime and the police will take you seriously providing you have evidence. Try and stay away from her so you keep yourself out of trouble, but if she wont let that happen then you need to think of your own safety and your children's safety. I hope this helps and good luck!
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