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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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She broke up with her fiance, do I sent an email offering my condolence?
Q. I'm pretty sure of what the answer to my question is, but I thought I could get a little input. Several years ago, my girlfriend and I at the time decided to break up.(Of course this is just before high school, so whether someone can call that a ...
A. 22 March 2011: Leave it be - it would be totally inappropriate for you to contact her. You are right in saying that you would come off as snide, because you would look like you are happy about her failed relationship. And there is always the other issue that it ... (read in full...)
I'm on 14 and I'm scared he'll dump me if I don't have sex
Q. I met this guy and we have been going out for a while now. I think I am falling in love with him. He is so good to me and makes me so happy. The thing is he wants to have sex and im not ready for it. I have never done any sex stuff before. I am...
A. 22 March 2011: You always need to use condoms, regardless of what sexual activity you are doing because condoms prevent std's like HIV etc. Std's can be fatal so it is incredibly important you use one, whatever sexual activity you might be doing.
But aside fr... (read in full...)
Does he like me or should I just give up on him?
Q. i like this guy a lot.. But he has a girlfriend.. and he said he does not date black girls but he is black to he flirts with me a lot like he came up to me and started pinching me a lot and then he checks me out also and we talk just about every ...
A. 21 March 2011: Look - he has a girlfriend so there is no future here. Whether he flirts with you or not is irrelevant, he is in a relationship with someone else therefore he can never be with you.
So forget about him, he is wasting your time so move on.
I... (read in full...)
Afraid to sleep over at my boyfriend's house because of my snoring!
Q. I am 21yr old female and afraid to sleep over my bf house because I snore....any advice?...
A. 21 March 2011: Go to the doctor. There are many different things they can do to help you, so make an appointment with your doctor and that should sort it out.
Or try this website for further information http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/
I hope this helps ... (read in full...)
Are boys just stereotypes who only like girls for their bodies?
Q. Hey there! Okay, I'm beginning to believe stereotypes and bad notions about teenage boys. Maybe even males in general. Like most other fifteen year old girls, I have a Facebook account. I've posted about three hundred photos, but none were very ...
A. 21 March 2011: Yes, teenage boys are a bit obsessed with girls bodies, at their age all they tend to think about is sex because of their hormones running riot (they cant really help it!). So when they see a pretty girl in a bikini of course they are going to ... (read in full...)
Are these good baby names?
Q. I am hoping to have a boy. If I do, his name will be Kylan Jake. But if I have a girl, her name will be Joselyn Nicole. Do these names sound good? Please help!...
A. 18 March 2011: I am hoping you are not being serious and having a child at your age.
But if you are already pregnant then chosing the name of the child is totally up to you - whatever you like. There is no point in asking strangers what they think of your per... (read in full...)
Online date: Confused about initial interest and the waiting game...
Q. I was recently on a popular online dating website. I had intended on leaving upon the expiration of my membership. Four days before expiration the customer service of the website contacted me to tell my that a past match wants to re-open ...
A. 18 March 2011: I think you should just ask her out - see if she replies, if she does then great, if she doesnt well thats your answer.
This whole relationship is bizarre anyway - putting aside the fact that you are in the UK yet talking about dollars (is this... (read in full...)
Token Penis Size Question
Q. No serious insecurities here, and I know this gets asked constantly but seriously A good, caring guy with a great personality and good career who totes your average 6 inch 5 around penis or A good caring guy with a great personality and goo...
A. 18 March 2011: As the anonymous poster said - it all depends on compatibility. If both guys were identical and I got on with them both incredibly well, then I guess it would be the guy with the larger penis. However I would never make the decision on penis size - ... (read in full...)
Should I wear makeup on our first date?
Q. Should I wear makeup on a first date? We met at a party and wore full-on eye makeup with lots of shimmery eyeshadow and fake eyelashes. However, I normally just wear mascara (for going to school, casual hangouts, etc). We're having dinner ...
A. 17 March 2011: Agree with Abella on this one - tone down the full on party make-up and go with a more natural look (but dont go completely au-naturale!).
A good way to do the natural look is to wear a good foundation that is around the same colour as your own... (read in full...)
Is dating in the first few months of University easy, or do all the girls have boyfriends back at home?
Q. Before I start, if my grammar or phrasing is poor, please forgive me, I’m not a native English speaker. This is not another of those “oh dear god, I’m 18 and I’ve never had a girlfriend, my life is collapsing about me” questions, so please bear w...
A. 16 March 2011: Well it tends to vary by university so I cannot be certain when I answer this. However Kings is a very good university and tends to specialise in the more typically 'male' subjects (science, law, medicine, maths, engineering etc) so you may find a ... (read in full...)
Dating a European guy and confused.....is this normal in his country?
Q. OK, It is my first time to have dates with foreigner, and i am a little confused. 1,He said he never married and then i decide to have dates with him. But later he told me he has girl friend in his country and she lives his house with her two chil...
A. 16 March 2011: Ok, to answer your questions in order:
1. No this is not normal in Europe. He is cheating on his girlfriend with you, he is being unfaithful, having an affair....whatever you want to call it, he is doing something very wrong with you behind his girl... (read in full...)
Question for the girls on attraction to men......
Q. Hi girls i have two question i have always thought of! 1-Do you by nature get attracted to normally hairy men, like some hair on the chest and legs and do you enjoy it if you do? 2-Do you feel the sexual desire a man feels when he sees a pre...
A. 16 March 2011: Well keep in mind that all women are different and like different types of men, but here is my opinion:
1. Dont mind if a man has hair on his chest and legs, but if he has hair on his back that is just wrong. Most men have hair and I wouldnt like... (read in full...)
Is dating in the first few months of University easy, or do all the girls have boyfriends back at home?
Q. Before I start, if my grammar or phrasing is poor, please forgive me, I’m not a native English speaker. This is not another of those “oh dear god, I’m 18 and I’ve never had a girlfriend, my life is collapsing about me” questions, so please bear w...
A. 16 March 2011: Well it is really hard to say - so my advice would be dont expect anything at all then you cannot be disappointed!
When I went to university a few years ago (I am 23 now) I had a boyfriend, but because of the long distance and the new life tha... (read in full...)
Caught in a torrid love affair with a married woman but she refuses to walk out of her loveless, boring marriage. Why???
Q. Okay....please refrain from excoriating and vilifying me because I know that I'm not supposed to partake in this endeavor, but I'm a little too deep into this game. I've been seeing this married woman who is five years my senior for about three ...
A. 16 March 2011: Ok seen as you are not paying any attention to all of our posts (where we have already answered your questions) then I will make this very clear:
1. Do all cheaters get caught? Not always. Some are incredibly good liars, sometimes the partner just... (read in full...)
Caught in a torrid love affair with a married woman but she refuses to walk out of her loveless, boring marriage. Why???
Q. Okay....please refrain from excoriating and vilifying me because I know that I'm not supposed to partake in this endeavor, but I'm a little too deep into this game. I've been seeing this married woman who is five years my senior for about three ...
A. 15 March 2011: Have a read of this question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/affair-advice-please-however-wrong-it-is-i.html
You might just realise that your relationship is heading the exact same way so jump ship now before you are 6 years down the line lik... (read in full...)
Affair advice please... however wrong it is? I am in it!!
Q. Well here goes again I have asked advice now twice on this matter and have taken advice in different degrees. My story is long but i will keep it short. I promise this will be the last phase. I have been seeing a married woman now for 6 years. I...
A. 15 March 2011: Quite simply - yes you have done the right thing, so well done for finding the strength to end it.
Her behaviour is typical of a standard 'cheater' (regardless of being male or female, all behave the same). She has her safe, stable family l... (read in full...)
Life is passing me bay and I'm just standing still.
Q. I know there are a lot of pleas for help on how not to be so lonely and how to make more friends but here is mine, another to add to the list! The only time when I feel comfortable and I can truly be myself (whoever that is) is when I am with m...
A. 3 March 2011: You are only lonely because you are making sure you stay that way, you are doing nothing to make things happen in your life. It sounds like you expected to go to uni then suddenly you would have loads of friends and it would be problem solved. But ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he's just using me!
Q. ok so ive been with my boyfreind nearly 6months... and he fingered me about 2 days ago for the 1st time... his fingerin me everyday since then :/.... and i dont mind to be honest even though his leavin me a lil bit sore... but o well... the thing im ...
A. 2 March 2011: Well think about it this way - when he 'fingers' you, it is supposed to be pleasurable for you, so why would he use you for something that has no impact on him? Its not like he is making you give him blow jobs, hand jobs or pressuring you for sex is ... (read in full...)
He initiated the whole thing a few months ago but now its gone to nothing with no obvious reasons.
Q. Argh! Whats going on?! I went on a date with a guy I'd liked for a while. Was a simple, rather unromantic date, cinema and fast food. 3 weeks later, despite texting him and messaging him, I've only had a few words from him on facebook chat, an...
A. 2 March 2011: One simple lesson to learn about men - if they are interested then they will chase you, if they dont like you then they will either a) not reply or talk to you, or b) will be short and blunt with you in their replies.
A lot of men are cowards ... (read in full...)
I fancy my boyfriends best mate!
Q. I have a boyfriend and I used to be in love with him, now not so much, I have fallen for his best mate ! But he has a girlfriend , they only got together a few days ago , things seem to be going great for them , but not for me and my boyfriend . He ...
A. 1 March 2011: You havent fallen for his best mate, I'll try and explain what has happened here.
1. You and your boyfriend are having problems = you are unhappy
2. An unhappy person in a relationship looks for potential ways out of the relationship... (read in full...)
How to turn a drunken hookup into more?
Q. Friday night I drunkenly hooked up with a guy I was set up with to go to a college formal with. I am interested in continuing to talk and possibly hook up more, but how do I find out if he is too? I waited until Sunday to text him, but he didn...
A. 1 March 2011: Hook-ups, especially drunken ones, very rarely turn into anything more. And the fact is you have text him but he did not care enough to reply to the second text - therefore he is not interested.
Maybe try being direct one last time and ask if h... (read in full...)
How do I convince him about having children?
Q. Okay, so here is the issue. I have been with my boyfriend, who we'll call "C," for about a year and a half. We are getting an apartment together in a few months and are discussing marriage quite soon. The topic of children has come up a few time...
A. 1 March 2011: Sorry I'm not totally sure what you mean by your question? Is he unsure of having children NOW? Or does he not know if he wants children EVER?
Presuming you mean that you want kids now and want to convince him to feel the same:
Well you cant... (read in full...)
I need no-contact in order to move on, he agreed then sent me a text!
Q. Was with a guy for five years, engaged and lived together for two of those! He broke it off with me, been split now over seven months. Been a pretty rocky road ever since, talking one minute, not the next. ! He rang a few weeks back in tears, s...
A. 25 February 2011: To keep this short - he is lonely and wants a comfort blanket, someone he knows that loves him and will always come running. It has been 7 months - if he wanted you back he would have said so by now.
Instead you are letting him walk all over you... (read in full...)
I can't stand my family and friends derogatory remarks regarding my girlfriend's weight...
Q. I've begun seeing a girl I care deeply for. We get along great and are friends as well. The only problem is I can't stand my family and friends dirogitory remarks reguarding her weight. I'll admit in the past I really wouldn't date a bigger g...
A. 25 February 2011: Simply tell them. Explain that you have met someone really special who you care about very much, and you dont appreciate their rude comments about someone so important to you.
I guess your friends and family dont understand how much you like her... (read in full...)
What are the laws regarding underage sex in the USA?
Q. What are the (United States') laws on underage sex? Thanks!...
A. 25 February 2011: It is illegal. It does vary by state, so best to check in your own state as we dont know where you live. This website might help http://www.ageofconsent.us/
But generally in the US the age of consent is between 16 and 18, and if you are underage... (read in full...)
Are men and women really that different in terms of our sexuality?
Q. Perhaps I'm wrong, but it seems to me there's a tendancy these days to want to think that men and women are identical, or close to it, in most or all respects. As an (obviously unscientific) experiment, I created both a fake male profile and a fa...
A. 23 February 2011: Ok it is quite simple - women enjoy sex just as much as men, but 99% of women want sex in a committed relationship format, rather than 'no strings attached' sex that you advertised on those profiles.
Men on the other hand, will take sex in any w... (read in full...)
Was asked out by a girl, but had been thinking of asking another
Q. Hi guys I'm in a spot of bother with my current situation. I have been interested in this girl for a while and was thunk of asking her out then just today a different girl asked me out. I said I will think about it because I wasn't sure about what ...
A. 23 February 2011: Sorry I dont understand why you will get stick from your friends? Do they not like this girl that has asked you out? Or do they know about your crush and will think badly of you for going out with someone else?
At the end of the day, it is your ... (read in full...)
I think I'm falling for a guy who has a girlfriend!
Q. Help! I think I am falling for a guy who has a girlfriend! We have been friends for a year but two months ago we admitted to each other that we have feelings for each other that are stronger than that. We have kissed a few times and last week we...
A. 22 February 2011: There could be a million reasons why he hasnt left her, including:
- Safety/Secturity - they have been together 2 years, this is quite a long time and he will be settled and happy. It is hard to break routine, she will be like a trusted pres... (read in full...)
Poll on breast size
Q. Ok guys and girls if you want to, are very small breasts and very large breasts a turn off if so what cup sizes are the 2 barriers?...
A. 22 February 2011: Dont worry, I remember being your age and its horrible, boys are so immature up until they are about 18 (some maybe 16) and they only think about boobs and sex. But I promise you it will get lots better when you are a bit older and the boys grow up, ... (read in full...)
Was asked out by a girl, but had been thinking of asking another
Q. Hi guys I'm in a spot of bother with my current situation. I have been interested in this girl for a while and was thunk of asking her out then just today a different girl asked me out. I said I will think about it because I wasn't sure about what ...
A. 22 February 2011: Well do you like the girl who has asked you out? Do you want to go out with her?
Or do you not like her and only like the other girl?
What you need to do is this - decide who you like the most and stick to that decision. You cannot date this... (read in full...)
Poll on breast size
Q. Ok guys and girls if you want to, are very small breasts and very large breasts a turn off if so what cup sizes are the 2 barriers?...
A. 22 February 2011: There are no 2 difinitve barriers - some men love small boobs (A and B cups), some men love big boobs. Just as some girls like tall dark and handsome men, whereas other girls like blonde guys - we are all different and have different tastes in ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if the pill is working?
Q. i have just started taking the pill, today is my 3rd day, should i b noticing anything different with my body so i can be sure it is working? or are there no signs? thanks x...
A. 21 February 2011: You wont notice anything at all, the pill has no obvious effects externally so dont worry - you wont see any signs!
As long as you take your pill the same time each day, and are not taking any antibiotics, and are not experiencing any sickness... (read in full...)
Break through bleeding on the pill......
Q. I've been on the pill for about 9 months now but this past week i've experienced a lot of break through bleeding. Its nothing like a proper period but is enough to stop me having sex as much and i am wearing a pantyliner to aviod the inconvience of ...
A. 21 February 2011: If you have been skipping your pill free week then I am 99% certain that this bleeding is because of that. Break through bleeding often happens even when you skip just 1 pill free week, so if you are doing it frequently then you are going to ... (read in full...)
What will I say? He wants to know more. But I lied about me on the dating site profile
Q. Hey all. I have been chatting to this guy I met on an internet dating website. my profile was set up as a joke so i had no problem checking it out as it had nothing properly on it about me so being nice i tried to tell some quiet shy boys that they ...
A. 21 February 2011: Well without knowing why you are not a 'normal girl' there is not much we can say to help!
Have you lied about your age? Or something worse?
What are you 'known' for? Why will that mean he wont like you anymore?
Unless you explain yo... (read in full...)
He cussed at me, I slapped him and he slapped me back!
Q. It started in the car coming from a birthday party and theres a girl that i dont really like him being around so we get back home and i say why were sitting by her in the car. Im a very jealous person. Any ways he starts geting loud and everyone ...
A. 21 February 2011: You were both wrong. Violence is never the answer, whether it is a woman hitting a man or a man hitting a woman - it is all physical abuse and is ALWAYS wrong.
You both need help with your anger, if you get to the point where you hit someone ... (read in full...)
I drink a bottle of wine almost every day. Is this ok?
Q. To make this short and simple I drink a bottle of wine every day, well almost every day!!! is that to much. I dont start drinking in the morning, only at night when my son goes to bed, I contiue to carry on with my life through out the day. I get up ...
A. 10 February 2011: Ok well in terms of "normal" (if there is such thing!) I would say it is not that bad. But in terms of your health - you will be doing some serious damage.
You are not displaying 'alcoholic' tendencies - you are only drinking at night, you have... (read in full...)
Why do some girls like anal and some don't?
Q. Why do some girls prefer anal sex and others don't? Are some afraid to try it? Or is it deeper than that?...
A. 10 February 2011: Well its just personal preference! Just like some people love chocolate, others love savory food - each to their own! Everyone is different and it is foolish to think that everyone should like something just because you like it, or others you have ... (read in full...)
I am so depressed and have no motivation to do anything
Q. I was wondering if anyone felt the same way? Lately i have been so depressed i dont want to do anyhting but sleep and eat. I broke up from my ex a couple of months ago(he was emotonally abausive) but i am over that, but i still feel empty and sad ...
A. 8 February 2011: This is definitely depression, you have the classic symptoms so you really need to seek help from a doctor. You say you have a psychiatrist and you are on medication, but if this is not working then go back to them and tell them how you feel. They ... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 8 February 2011: You keep coming here looking for your next bashing, I think you are enjoying this otherwise you would not keep posting these follow ups provoking the aunts & uncles on this site! You are not even asking for advice anymore, you are just telling us ... (read in full...)
Room mate refused to help clean up when moving!
Q. Interacting with your housemate is a kind of relationship, right? My housemate and I are moving out. So we have to clean the place up thoroughly to get our bond money back. He's been living there for 10 months and I've been there just under 2 yea...
A. 7 February 2011: Well yes he should have done some more cleaning, it was not fair for him to be so lazy and leave it all to you.
However it would be very wrong of you to keep his bond, unless he has caused damage to the property where you would need to pay for ... (read in full...)
Will having sex with my friend help me get over my ex?
Q. I can't get over my ex but I'm good friends with a guy who treats me like a queen and wants me to be his girlfriend and wife one day but I'm still messed up in my head about my ex. If I have sex with my good guy friend, will that make me get over my ...
A. 7 February 2011: No - you wont have a clear head at all, the situation will be even more messy and complicated, and you will feel even worse.
Look - your friend really likes you and wants you to be his girlfriend. He REALLY cares about you so you should have the... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 11 January 2011: Look - the issue here is that neither girl is right for you, if you could combine the looks of the Latvian with the personality of the Australian you would have your dream girl, right?
So that conclusively proves that neither girl CAN EVER mak... (read in full...)
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