A
female
age
30-35,
*ecretlyShy_
writes:This time last year I was uncertain about whether my teacher 'loved' me or not and I thought it would blow over as soon as I left school. However my teacher also teaches at the college I go to and I teach sessions along with him once a week. I am most certain that he either fancies me or loves me now. We always had a friendly relationship where we would greet each other with a hug and he has kissed me once on the cheek before. In addition he compliments me excessively which I find flattering yet odd. He has always been 'touchy feely' in a friendly manner but last week is when he hugged me in a very intimate position after we finished teaching. For the past 2 years he has been teaching me I have absolutely loved his charm and I think I do even fancy him borderline love him. But someone like me who is strong, yet versatile in traditional beliefs, I do not think I could form any type of intimate or sexual relationships based on my morals, but my issue is how do I resist? He is my ideal type of man, charming, funny and a genius having graduated from oxford university. I don't want advice such as 'report him', as he has nor will ever do anything against my will, it is my ability to resist that is the matter.Thank you for any useful advice and sorry for the essay.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2011): sorry about this but i just wanted to say to k_c100 that their advice is incredible and has helped me a lot...do take it!!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Well if you are not going to report him (I know this isnt what you want to hear but he is comitting a crime, and it should worry you that he could be acting this way around other students, children who may be younger than you), then think of it this way - imagine what would happen if you allowed yourself to get involved? Think of him losing his job - he would be fired immediately once a senior member of staff found out, from both his school and college jobs. Think of him being reported to the police, then facing a trial and then going to prison. Think of his family and friends, how most of them would disown him. Think of the rest of his life, how he would never be able to get a good job again and how he would be an outcast socially.So everytime you feel you want to give in - think about what that would mean for him and the rest of his life. If you really care for him, you would go nowhere near him, because you would not want to ruin his life. He is incredibly foolish for acting the way he does at the moment - if another teacher happened to walk into or past your classroom whilst he was hugging you in an intimate manner that would have been reported right away, he is risking everything by acting this way with you. So much for being an Oxford graduate genius! He doesnt even have any common sense, I know you dont want to hear this but a man who is behaving like this with a student at his age with his education has some severe mental issues. You dont need a degree from Oxford to realise that getting intimate in your workplace with a student is going to result in you losing everything, therefore if he is willing to risk his life basically for a student he has a few problems mentally. If he is missing the chemicals in the brain that calculate risk and trigger warning reactions when they are doing something wrong, he is mentally ill and he needs help. I know you are going to be angry for me saying this and you wont believe it anyway, but I hope it plants a little seed of concern in your mind. But in terms of how you resist - all you have to do is think about what he could lose, what could happen to him and that should be enough to keep you away from him. If you love him like you say you do then you wont want anything bad to happen to him - so think about all the terrible things that will happen and that will give you some strength to resist. I hope this helps and good luck!
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