A
female
age
26-29,
*ings_alot_chicky
writes:I am a 15 year old Christian girl who likes to take a, as my mom would say "ride on the wild side". and lately i've had one thing on my mind when im near my bf. well actually more then one but them all leading to the same thing. SEXI am a virgin and never thought like this before either. He tells me he wants to marry me and he is the one i want to take my virginity but is thinking like this wrong?
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 April 2011):
First - he is 15. There IS NO WAY he really wants to marry you. The chances that you two actually get married are next to zero.
With that in mind, remember this is a gift you can only give once.
Proceed accordingly.
A
male
reader, mdw  +, writes (6 April 2011):
look it sound like to me that your BF might be pushing you in to it. you might not think it now when your 17 years old you think what a creep my BF was picking up a 13 year old. if you have sex with this guy it means your always going to be looking for older guys that not healthy for a 13 year old you might look like a women at 13 but mentally your still a child.
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male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 So, your a normal 15 year old... good for you!Your thoughts and feelings are healthy and natural.However, even though your body's ready for sex,is your mind?The emotional costs are far greater than anything you can imagine. I know a few adults my age, that still can't handle it. Sad, but true.
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female
reader, Sings_alot_chicky +, writes (1 April 2011):
Sings_alot_chicky is verified as being by the original poster of the question He just turned 17 a month ago.
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male
reader, mdw +, writes (1 April 2011):
how old is your bf?
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female
reader, melissa123 +, writes (30 March 2011):
Personally I don't think you are too young. Being a young (21) Christian girl myself I would say wait a bit longer. This is the advice I would give to my younger sisters too. One of the most exciting parts of sex is the anticipation and the unknown, so why would you want to cut that short? I know you have probably heard this but it is something you can only give away once and say this bf doesn't work out (even though it seems like it will) do you really want to explain to next bf's about other guys you have slept with? Good luck! You can only make decisions for yourself
xo
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): No, it is definitely not wrong to just think about it, I should think virtually everyone else your age is. If that really is all your question is about then that's fine.You have had some good advice though, even if it applies to the future. Waiting at least until 16 (which isn't very long) shows maturity and that you aren't acting rashly thanks to hormones. I think there are a couple of doomsayers on here.....yes use protection (whenever you chose to have sex) especially condoms without fail, you'll save yourself from potentially a lot of trouble. Do that and your chances of getting pregnant or catching an STD are very slim and would be the same as if you chose to have sex at 30.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): Definitely NOT too youn to THINK about it lol. It's human nature. Don't be ashamed of these thoughts, just make the proper choices in relation to these thoughts and you'll enjoy your sexuality when it comes time to! xoxo
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female
reader, Desiray. +, writes (28 March 2011):
I'm fifteen, too, and a Christian-- so I figured I'd give my own opinion, haha.I'm not a virgin. I lost my virginity around January, to a boy I really, really loved and I was okay with it-- it was nice, it was wonderful, actually, and I have no regrets. We're not together anymore, but I still think on it and don't regret it-- I don't have any resentment at all.So what I'm saying, is think on it. Think on it for ages and wonder what it would be like after? Is there anyway you would regret it? Is your boyfriend someone you wouldn't mind losing your virginity to? Not that it matters, sex is special whether youre a virgin or not, but some people feel it's special.You don't even have to have sex, there's other stuff you can do first, right? If you haven't done anything that is-- so you could always build up to it.Also there's the subject of protection-- you could go on the pill, or make sure he has a condom, yano? How long have you and your boyfriend been going out? Are you sure he doesn't just want sex?If you feel ready, then go for it, is what I'm trying to say :P Just really think on it first. It's not wrong to think like that at all. :)
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reader, Sings_alot_chicky +, writes (28 March 2011):
Sings_alot_chicky is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know it is wrong to DO it....i just wanted to know if it was wrong to think it.I already have a parenting class to learn about all this stuff....im not gonna do it for a while...JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WAS WRONG TO THINK ABOUT IT!!!!
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female
reader, Cupid_or_Stupid +, writes (28 March 2011):
 It's natural for you to think like that. As a teenager your hormones are racing and you're head is completely messed up.At 15 I felt exactly the same way but I waited a little longer and I lost my virginity not long after turning 16. Virginity is a personal thing and the age at which you lose it is completely your own choice. If you feel ready then no one else can tell you otherwise. It's great if you feel you want to give your virginity to your boyfriend but bare in mind that you may not stay with him forever. If that doesn't bother you then there's nothing to worry about. You can still give your virginity to someone special without them being 'the one'. Another thing to consider is if you start having sex with your boyfriend this can change your relationship A LOT. Once me and my boyfriend became sexually active we stopped going out/just generally hanging out together as much and we often stay in and just have sex or something of that sort. It's also something that once you do you don't really stop doing. Also, once you and your boyfriend have had sex there isn't really anywhere for you to afterward. You've got no where to advance to as a couple as you'd have been all the way. They are just some points to consider, but do remember you are still underage and if you do decide to have sex you both need to discuss contraception BEFORE you start.Hope this helped! :)
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reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Your thinking is natural - after all at your very young age your hormones are raging - but misguided.
If your boyfriend is around the same age as you, then HIS hormones are in full swing, also. Not only that, but its actually illegal in England until you are 16. EVEN SO that's still very young.
Another thing is that if your bf says he wants to marry you, this is WAY too young for either one of you to be considering marriage!! You need to get some more years under your belt - another 10, 15 years, for instance - and to get established in a good job, plus some emotional maturity and life experience before even thinking about getting married.
Going back to your immediate question: if you start having sex now, it will be very hard to stop. There is a risk (not inconsiderable) of catching a sexually transmitted disease - even if your bf is healthy now, there's no guarantee the two of you will stay together (sorry, that's just in the nature of relationships, many of them begin very well, but often don't last). Perhaps the next boy you have sex with could give you something nasty........also there is a risk of getting pregnant. You REALLY don't want or need to find yourself with a baby on board and then have to decide whether to have an abortion (not the best choice and not one anyone really wants to make); go through with the pregnancy and birth, then give the child up for adoption, OR keep it and have the responsibility of bringing up the little one for the next 20 years.
That's 20 years when your parents may sometimes help with baby-sitting advice, and money, but basically it would be your responsibility to pay for food, diapers, visits to the baby's doctor, and medicines (and children do often get ill with all kinds of things); school supplies, everything. You might have to forgo hanging out at the mall with your friends, or the local pub, going away for the weekend with friends, going on holiday, going to parties, attending college, etc.
Or at the very least, you might be able to enjoy some of these activities sometimes, but not nearly as much as if you didn't have a baby to look after.
I know you don't want to hear all this. What I'm trying to do is to give you a realistic picture of what is likely to be involved if you do sleep with him........sorry.
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reader, k_c100 +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Well thinking about sex and actually having sex are 2 very different things! Thinking about sex is totally normal for teenagers, your hormones are running wild so of course as you go through puberty sex will be on your mind a lot, especially when you are around someone who you are physically attracted to.
But as for acting on these thoughts and having sex - yes that would be wrong. For a start you are underage, I dont need to tell you that. Then there is the risk of STD's - there are so many different types but some can be fatal (like HIV/AIDS), some can cause infertility (Chlamydia), and some cannot be cured at all. Have a look at this website http://www.cdc.gov/std/default.htm
So having sex puts your health at risk, so you need to be very mature and sensible before you have sex, you need to be grown up enough to go the doctors to get birth control (you definitely dont want a baby!) and you need to get condoms too.
Having sex at an early age also drastically increases your chances of getting a bad strain of the HPV virus which causes cervical cancer. There have been a number of studies which have shown that the younger you start having sex, the more likely you are to develop cervical cancer. HPV is a sexually transmitted virus that most people will get at some point in their lives, because condoms dont always prevent it spreading. HPV can be harmless, it can cause genital warts, and when it is the very harmful strain of HPV, it can cause cervical cancer. So by putting yourself at risk of HPV from such a young age, you are greatly increasing your risk of getting cervical cancer.
As I mentioned before - pregnancy. Now you really dont want a baby at your age, I wont go into the million reasons why you shouldnt have a child as I'm sure you know them all. But if you are going to be having sex you need to be thinking about this - you need to use 2 methods of contraception in order to prevent STD's AND pregnancy - so birth control plus condoms. Are you really going to go to the doctors on your own and get this sorted? Or do you still rely on mummy to come to the doctors with you? I dont want to patronise you here but if you are going to take responsiblity for your own health you have to be very mature and there are very few 15 year olds who would be mature enough to deal with this.
And then lastly, but by no means least - are you emotionally ready for sex? It changes a lot in your relationship with your boyfriend, it isnt just a fun romp in the bed that you can lay back and enjoy. It makes you feel things you have never felt before, it will really test your emotional maturity and will test your relationship. Have you been together a long time? Do you love each other and want a future together? Is your relationship happy most of the time? Do you want to have sex to make your relationship even better? Or is it just because you are feeling horny?
If I were you, I would wait as long as you can to have sex. Make sure this boy really is the right guy for you, and make sure you have been together a long time before you do have sex. Make sure you get birth control and condoms sorted, and think about whether having sex is the right thing to do for you. You have to feel 100% ready, and 100% certain in your decision before you do it, if you still have doubts or feel worried about it at all then it is not the right thing to do. And most of all - try and wait until you are legal, there are so many problems that can occur if you are having underage sex so just wait as long as you can.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2011): You're so young, too young for sex in my opinion, but maybe you should discuss this with your mom. And I can hear you now, saying that your mom would blow her gasket if you brought this up, but there's probably a reason - you're too young and she's worried you're going to make mistakes that will ruin your life.Sex in itself shouldn't be excluded from life, but you are young, and if I may say, coming from a religious standpoint, I have a Christian cousin who married young because of a "lust" issue, and the marriage did not last because they weren't ready for marriage and the responsibilities that came along with it. Wanting to have sex and being ready for marriage are definitely two different things!I don't think you should be married to have sex, but I'm not as religiously inclined as I was in my youth. Whatever you do, protect your fertility and don't get pregnant young! even if you think you're ready, wait until you're older so that you KNOW you're ready and able to give a child everything they would possibly need. xoxo
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