A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I still a virgin? I have a sex with my lesbian partner, she finger me. I am worried on what I should answer on my employer if they are asking me if I'm still virgin? I'm totally lost I don't know what to do....
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much to all of you!!!! you answer is a big help to me...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answer... I will clear what I've said.. they do not ask me if I'm still a virgin they just ask if I have a boyfriend or is there something happening to us. Now I am relieve. Thank you!!!!!
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A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (4 April 2011):
 Unless "virginity", is an extremely important part of your culture, who cares?Now a days, "virginity" is more a state of mind than anything else. It's your business and yours alone! No employer has the right to make any inquiries into your sex life for any reason. If they insist, look for work elsewhere. There's definitely something with this employer!
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Very true dmartin, it would be easy to answer "yes" if it was still intact, even though I agree with you completely. It all depends on who's definition we go on.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I'd like to note that the Hymen has NOTHING to do with virginity. You can be a virgin and not have a Hymen. This is only associated with virginity because it can sometimes break with penile penetration and back in the day it was the only method to check if a girl was a virgin. This was before sports, tampons, sex toys and when masterbation was deemed a sin.
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reader, dirtball +, writes (1 April 2011):
That is NOT ok for an employer to ask. Not ok at all. If someone asks that, you don't want to work for them!
I think I'm in the minority who think that sex is sex. While losing your virginity is often considered a penis in your vagina, I think it has more to do with having sex. If you and your partner have sex, then you're not a virgin. Is your hymen still intact?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011): Hi,I come from the Philippines and have been working many years now, been with different employers. The thing is I have never heard an employer require the answer whether you are a virgin or not. It is in the Philippines an inappropriate question and a rude one to ask. Tell them it's none of their business.Medically speaking, virginity is represented by the hymen being intact. Most of the time, penile penetration will make you lose your virginity. But nowadays, the word sex is too broad and so the meaning of virginity seems to have changed. My concern more about your question is why your boss needs an answer to that. You don't have to.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Virginity doesn't have to do with sex, it has to do with penetration by a man. It's kind of weird and sexist that lesbian sex doesn't count, but by most definitions it doesn't (even though virginity is a mental state not a physical one).I'm kind of horrified that that's acceptable for an employer to ask if you're a virgin or to inquire in any way about your sex life.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Well I'm not sure what you mean by 'sex' here? You said she fingered you - was that all that happened? Do you think fingering someone is sex?
When a boy or girl 'fingers' someone it is called mutual masturbation, not sex. This is basically the same as what would happen if you were masturbating alone, except someone else is doing it to you. So if you fingered your girlfriend, it would not be sex, it would also be mutual masturbation. Sex, in the most traditional sense, is a penis entering the vagina. Yes there are many other forms of sex but to keep things simple we will go with standard penetration.
So if all you have ever done sexually is 'fingering' then yes, you are a virgin. If you have ever had a penis inside your vagina, then no, you are not a virgin.
As for your employer - I'm not too sure of the laws in the Phillipines but I know here in the UK it would be illegal if your employer asked that question! I cant see why they would ask, it has no relevance to your suitability for a job - virginity doesnt make you a better employee! I think you would be well within your rights to decline to answer the question as it is a private matter, rather than something that will affect your job.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, Anonymous1996  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Everyone has different views on what is considered 'losing your virginity' and what isn't.
Typically, losing your virginity is penetration - Penis entering the vagina
However, if you are gay (lesbian or homosexual), one can assume that if you have had sex with your partner, then you are no longer a virgin.
But, everyone has different opinions, so i advise that you ask your employer what his definition of being a 'virgin' is.
Also, why on earth is he/she asking this?!
Hope this helped!
Kind regards - Jordyn
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