A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend seems to be jealous of my kids he Is tryin to go ahead and push them grow up I understand my kids are getting older and they need to start planning to move out My question is how would you feelin about his eagerness in getting them out on there when he has 2 more of his own that are younger than my kids ages
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Well in that case you have equal rights to have your say, but it means that he cannot lay down the law and you have to obey - if there is no valid reason for him wanting your kids to move out apart from he wants more space or wants to be a little family just you and his kids, then he has no right to try and push them to move out.
However (this is just an example) say if your kids were causing lots of arguments, were treating his children badly, were affecting the living environment etc then he would have a right to speak up and expect you to do something about it.
But if he simply is jealous and just wants them to move out, then he has no right to say this or make it happen as the house is 50% yours therefore it is as much your kids home as it is his kids home. Dont give in and make sure you talk to him about it - he is being totally unfair.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe are renting the home together so half the bill are slip between us
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (10 August 2011):
That is a bit worrying if he is pushing them to move out - do you share the house with your boyfriend? Do you own the house or does he own it?
If it is your own house and they are your kids, then he has no right in trying to push them out and you need to put your foot down and stop this. As much as kids as they get older do need to start being independent and prepare for the future, it is a tough economic climate out there, jobs are hard to come by and life is pretty expensive for young people. So they cant be expected just to get out of the house and fend for themselves purely because your boyfriend wants more space or wants to have you and his kids as a little perfect family.
A lot of men can feel threatened by a woman who has kids from another relationship, very few men want to raise another man's child as their own, and this kind of baggage is not appealing. Women are far more accomodating of other children as we are designed to be caring and nurturing towards children, whether they are our own or not. Whereas men are designed to 'protect their own' and look after their family only, so my guess is that your boyfriend doesnt see these kids as his own and all he thinks about is that they are another man's children so he wants them out.
You really should talk to him about his behaviour and tell him it is not acceptable to behave this way - they are your children and you make the parenting decisions, and it is your decision that this is their home as long as they need it. Explain that you want them to grow up too and be independent, but there is no rush for them to leave home and you want them to always be welcome at home.
Hopefully if you talk to him about it he should back off.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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