A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:So, a couple days ago at work this group comes in. I'm behind the desk so I help everyone. Consequently I sing really well so from time to time i sing to customers and at some point during the night, must have sung to this girl because she came up to me and started a conversation about singing. During which she sang a song to me too because she sings as well. I said we should karaoke sometime and she agreed. then I ask her number she gives it to me. I wait a day and call her and get no reply. I left her a little singing voice mail, so she'd remember me. and still no call back! anyway, i called her again today and got no answer...so an hour later I had a friend call her and she answered! There was a lot of noise in the background so Im pretty sure she was at work. My question is, is she purposely avoiding my calls? Why bond over our love for music and give me your REAL number if you're not going to answer?I'm confused. Can someone help me out here?
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 I agree with most of the responses here. And Eddie's rule is better to do in this case. Most girls hate to say no to you especially if you've had already started a nice chat together so they just give their number away. I am quite guilty of this. Sometimes I agree to exchanging my number with them and save them to my phone book so that when they call, I know who it is and just ignore it. My girl friends do this too. I know it sounds cowardly or maybe rude but girls struggle to disappoint an enthusiastic guy.
I expect my callers to get the hint the second time I don't answer their call. In your case, try the second time after a day or two but if she fails to answer again, just forget about it. Don't take it seriously. It's her loss anyway, she missed the opportunity to get to know a nice guy like you.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Person12345 is totally right - I know I have even been guilty of doing this. You might get chatting to someone and think the guy is nice enough but you are not really interested, then he asks for your number - so the easiest thing to do is give him your number because saying no to someone's face is pretty harsh and a lot of girls (me included) struggle to do this.
So we give out our number, in the hope that you wont call - but then you do, so we ignore it. Yes it is cowardly, but easier than saying no to your face.
She is not interested I'm afraid - leave it alone and move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Very normal. Not saying it is nice or right or acceptable, just that it happens all the time and there is nothing confusing. Just, most people, particularly women, are better at using diplomatic evasive tacticts than at being assertive and outspoken. Very seldom you'll find a fearless Xena who, asked for her phone number, will simply tell you :" no, I don't want to give you my phone number , because I do not care about being in touch with you again. I am having fun right here this moment talking or singing to you, and I don't mind killing time with you for these 5 or 10 minutes, but not necessarily I'll want to do it again tomorrow ".It's not easy being so candid,- so make some allowances for her passive-aggressive behaviour and don't overthink it.
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A
female
reader, cheers  +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Don't feel desperate yet. Try again! You're active guy type but she's not). She's shy,not sure how to react. she needs more time
There's NOT BONDING yet & TRUST between you and her.If interest, this's the area you've to DEVElOP.understand?
Send her a hint first before you make call. For example: Are you free? can i call you now? or send greeting like Good morning/ afternoon. How'r you feeling today? I'm pretty busy with singing competition nxt wk. Wish myself good luck.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Sometimes people just feel bad saying no to someone's face. It's cowardly, but she probably thought you seemed nice and didn't want to seem mean or something (girls are usually taught not to directly confront people). My guess is she never planned to answer and just gave it to you so as not to hurt your feelings right then.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (17 August 2011):
 Sadly, this happens and it happened to me more times than I could count.
I wish I could give you a specific answer as to why she isn't answering, but my rule was 2 calls and if no reply, she is either playing games, changed her mind, was tipsy when she gave you her number, or has a boyfriend / husband already.
At this point, you aren't out much, While I know you were probably hoping for a connection, it certainly doesn't sound like this one is going to happen. As they say, "better luck next time".
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