A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:An older man contacted me. He is older by a lot but likes me and wants to have a relationship. I like him but he is old! and i am waaaay younger. He wants me sexually but is it wrong to like someone with a 50 year difference? Is something wrong with me? What do I do? Is it wrong to have a relationship with a much older man?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): Hi, It is not wrong at all. You cannot help who you are attracted to. A 50 yr age difference may seem like a big deal, but as long as the two of you are content with being with each other then what does it matter? Just be prepared to be judged and talked about, because that is how society is.
I am 18 and have been seeing a man who is 52. To us it is not weird or creepy or anything like that. I would say you are completely normal to have these feelings for your guy, and it is NOT wrong to pursue it.
Never do anything you are not comfortable doing, always listen to your gut feeling, be safe and best of luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Ok, first off, its NOT wrong based just on the age difference. If you were a minor then yes, but you are an adult and you can make your own decisions. Socially its a bit unacceptable but since when does that make something truly wrong? I disagree with those people who say its definitely wrong, difference in opinion isn't grounds enough to make something truly wrong either. To most, this would seem very unappealing but again, that doesn't make it wrong. Who cares if he needs viagra? Stop being superficial people!Some good points were brought up on whether you actually have feelings for him or its strictly sexual. Either way as long as both you and the man have the same expectations then who is to say its wrong? We all have our own sexual preferences and there is nothing wrong with that as long as its not dangerous to you or others and I hardly see how this is a dangerous situation if you trust this man. The longevity of this is questionable but if you are ok with that and the things that may come along down the road, such as being a potential care taker or him dying, then go for it. If it was my choice I wouldn't but again that is my OPINION, and yours is what really counts.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 August 2011):
Yes, to me it´s wrong. When he was 50 you were a baby. In this case, the age gap is the size of the grand canyon and can´t be bridged with a simple rope. It can´t be bridged at all. He could be your grandfather. It just reeks of creepiness. What respectable, honorable man would propose to have sex with someone who could be their grandchild? Steer clear and get a therapist.
Your attraction for this guy probably stems from issues in your past and if you want to have healthy relationships in the future, these issues must be identified and dealt with first.
So really, unless you're a leech who hopes he'll put all his life savings on your name when he passes, you have a really distorted taste in men. (Also, the leech part--if applicable-- won't work because he'll always pick children over you.)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 August 2011):
 If you have to ask then it's wrong.
he contacted you? how did he find you?
he only wants sex? why is this even an option for you?
umm there is NOTHING wrong with AGE GAP relationships as long as they are based on mutual love, respect and truth.
I'd say in this case NO
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 August 2011):
 Is he rich?
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A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 go for it sweetheart, you may learn something, just make sure he's not a pervert first. I would like someone in my life who is wise and age usually brings wisdom. it is better to learn from someone than by direct experience, if you beleive in them.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 Hey. I'm with k c100. I'm currently dating someone 16 years older, so I'm not against age differences. However, 50 years is a massive difference. But it depends what it is you want out of your love life. If it is long term partnership, I'd say around a 20 year gap is really the biggest you want to go. Although I'm sure there have been bigger age gap relationships that have lasted many years.
But be realistic. He is really close to the end of his life. He'll be lucky to get another 10 years. Any longer and he'll be really lucky to be still in relative good health. You are at the start of your life. So if you start a relationship with this man, you will end up being his carer after maybe 5-10 years, for however long he lives. Then if he passes away at 85(a good age) you would be in your mid 30s and a widow.
If this is what you really want, don't let anyone stop you. You're not the first to be attraced to much older men, look at Hugh Heffner(but look at what else he has to offer). Your man is probably happy for any sexual attention he can get at his age, and from such a young girl, he'd be over the moon. But if you want to really share your life with someone who is on your level and understands you, this will be difficult with such a difference in age. You still have so much to learn about life and yourself, and he will have set ideas.
Really think before you act on this one. If you fall for the guy you will have some massive hurdles to overcome. Age gap love can have many benefits but you will always be very separate in one important, unchangable area.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Thats really not right, you cant even call it love.. i mean whats a 70 year old interested in? and how can you be interested in a 70 year old? with that age gap you two are defo not interested in the same things that for sure, and your priorities arent the same.
Just leave him he must be using you for something
Find someone your age
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A
female
reader, LatinaChick  +, writes (22 August 2011):
 OMG yes... it's wrong unless you like him? If you have strong feelings then i guess age isnt a problem but if its just sexual then im really thinking you should not.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 August 2011):
 So let me get this straight - you are 18-21, so this man is 68-71?! I'm surpised at that age he can even get it up!
You cant have a relationship with a man this age, sorry to say this but he doesnt have many years left, maybe 10 years, 15 if he is lucky....do you really want a relationship with an old man who wont be around for more than a few years?
He is old enough to be your grandfather, possibly even your great grand father...it is very very wrong. I doubt with a 50 year age difference sex is even a possiblity for him without a heck of a lot of viagra, but even still....he wont take you seriously or be thinking about anything long term with you (mostly because there is no long term once you hit 70) - he will not be able to believe his luck that a young girl is even interested in him and will want to use you for whatever he can get.
I dont have a problem with age differences, I have dated a man 15 years older than myself and there really is no big deal. But 50 years?! That is just wrong on so many levels. You are a young girl who can get any man she wants, fair enough if you want an older man thats fine, but a man who could be your grandfather? What on earth could you find attractive about a man that age? Do the wrinkles do it for you? Grey hair? Sagging skin? Poor hearing? Bad health?
I just dont get what you can find attractive about a 70 year old, and I can tell you now if he is still able to have sex then he will definitely only be using you for that one reason.
Find someone closer to your own age and leave the old people alone.
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