A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys this is a really personal question and I hope you can help me with it I,ve been dating this guy for nearly two months. He makes me feel amazing and beautiful and like i,m the only girl in the world I,ve met his family and I think they like me and he's going to meet mine this week!. I,m really starting to trust this guy. The problem is I,m a virgin and he's not and he knows i,m a virgin and he's ok with it. He's not putting me under any pressure like yeah we've been touching and all that ( well i,ve him kept above the waist ) and he's still happy with that. I really like this guy and I think i,m ready to give him myself but....I don't know how or where to begin :/ I know to use protection but other than protection like condoms what else can I use?Any tips or advice?
View related questions:
condom Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Ok well first things first, yes you need to use condoms to prevent STD's, but it is also a good idea to be on birth control to prevent pregnancy. Condoms do prevent pregnacy but there is always a chance of the condom breaking, slipping, some of the sperm leaking out, not being put on properly.....etc so being on birth control is a very good idea to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Have a read on this website for information, http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Contraception/Pages/Introduction.aspx, then book an appointment with your doctor who will be able to help you pick out the right type of birth control for you.
As for having sex itself, if you havent done more than touching above the waist I would suggest you start off with some foreplay and see how that goes before you think about having sex. Oral sex, handjobs, fingering...that kind of thing....that is a good way to build up to sex and get more confidence before you go ahead and do it.
It is also a good idea because it means you learn about each other's bodies and what feels good for each other. So maybe the next time you are kissing and touching, let him go below the waist and take it from there. When you are feeling confident you could do the same to him too, and learn a bit more about what he likes.
This is the most natural and easiest way to progress to sex - if you have done things like this first then sex wont seem like such a big step because you are already sexually active together. That is what happened with me and my first boyfriend, I think it started by him fingering me, then I gave him a hand job (this was over a few weeks/months), then we progressed to oral sex, and then penetrative sex came after that. By the time we did have sex it felt natural and exciting rather than scary because we were familiar with each other's bodies and we knew how to turn each other on so we both really wanted to have sex, rather than feeling very nervous about it.
Hopefully that should give you some ideas - just go to the doctor first and get that sorted so you never have to worry about pregnancy scares! And talk to your boyfriend too - tell him you are wanting to take things further. Talking about sex is a bit daunting but it really helps, especially when one person is more experience than the other, it will mean he knows to take the lead but also knows what you do and dont want to do.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): i've been in this exact situation with my boyfriend. I hadn't done anything below the wasit with anyone and he had a very sexual past. First you need to be comfortable with everything he has done because for months I couldn't stop thinking about his past, but he got me comfprtable with it and said it was just me and him. My second piece of advice is too not plan it, thats what me and my boyfriend did and it went down hill, I was so scared that he ended up loosing his erection, it took a month for us too try again. With protection me and my boyfriend don't use condoms but that's only because he and I have both been tested (even though I hadn't been sexually active there was no harm in being fair and aslo getting tested) and I feel condoms can sometimes get in the way of the mood, so I'm on the pill. However, for your first time I reccommened the condom and pill to increase the less chance of an unwanted pregancy. If this guy is as amazing as you say this moment should be really speacial and nothing should get in the way. Just take it slow, build up to the moment. He knows its your first time so he should be fine with taking you stage by stage. By if you ever want to stop, then stop. Don't be pressured. Hope it works for you darling xx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): just approach him about it. tell him at the right time, like when you are alone in one of your rooms. If you two like each other the way you say you do, then he will feel the same way and there should be no problem.. Condoms are obviously the way to go to use protection. There is also birth control that you can go to your doctor about.
...............................
A
female
reader, Larissalover1  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 try having him over one day for something you both like. fool around for a bit then, if you feel u for it, go for it :) tell him to be gentle and to ease into it. be sure you use a condom and to be even more safe go on birth control. my first time he pulled out just to be safe.
...............................
A
male
reader, confusedguy777  +, writes (5 September 2011):
honestly i would start by letting him touch you below the waist and not rushing straight into sex, get to know each others bodies, allow him to see you semi nude or nude and to play around with your downstairs region and reciprocate. Most importantly make sure you are comfortable with each other and even if you dont feel it try to act confident about what you are doing and about your body and dont do anything half hearted.
good luck i hope this helped :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Well it's good that you're aware of the safety of using protection. I think this article can help you out as well:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ladies-what-you-should-know-before-you-have.html
Hope this helps!
...............................
|
