A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am 26 years old from the United Kingdom, and have Asperger's Syndrome. I have a brother but I only see him now and then as he has his own life in another county, and a job.I enjoy life, do voluntary work including some with elderly people [mainly IT tuition sometimes on a 1-to-1 basis] and have some friends - mainly older people or friends of my family.However, it's getting a relationship which is hard for me as I've never been on a date at all in my life.I won't use online dating or Facebook/Twitter (too many scams, risk of malware and viruses) and dating in work is too tricky (or in my workplace, a slight social faux-pas, even though there are some couples who work together, but that's a rare occurrence generally).I'm also a bit embarrassed about what I think may be my bisexuality - about 90% women, 10% men (although for now it's really 95% women, 5% men). My attraction to women is both emotional and sexual, whereas with men I think it's mainly emotional and/or appreciating their looks (but on a lesser scale than women).Obviously sexuality is a private thing but I've mentioned this for relevance anyway.I would like to have a girlfriend, or at least go on a date with one, but for me it's hard due to my disability (not that it's an obvious one), and finding social activities that aren't too male-dominated, since my interests are mainly male-dominated. (cars, motor racing, travel, computer design, rock music, British rock music).I'd prefer to date a girl first, simply because there may besome girls would probably be turned off if I had a same-sex partner first, and it's probably the best way to do things, date a girl, and I'm predominantly attracted to women anyway as I explained.I do have interests in things that are generally older than many people my age are into (with the exception of things like The Beatles who span multiple age-groups) and the fact I feel 'out of it' with people my own age, despite liking modern pop culture as well.It's not the issue of meeting friends, but dating which I struggle with..It's where I'd meet people to date that's the problem - some people would consider it shameful to get friends to set them up with a friend of a friend (don't know why) as I don't want to date someone younger than me (except maybe 2 - 3 years) or someone much older than me (10-12 years is the limit, I guess). I rarely if ever get much attention, I'm average-looking, but I don't consider myself ugly.Finding someone in my town is hard, as it's a small village where (almost but not) everyone knows everyone else.I'd appreciate any help, as as much as I enjoy my life, it's the lack of a partner to share it with is the problem.(Note: Some details changed/withheld for anonymity purposes)
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 October 2012):
 Very few people are truly 100% heterosexual so you can just drop that bisexual issue. It's not haunting our life. If you never had sex with a man again you are not missing anything if the percentage is only 5% so there is no need to mention it. In your post you are mainly talking about what doesn't help with your dating. How can I be interested in you if all you talk about are problems finding that person? Instead, talk about why you would make a good partner and what you are looking for in a woman. I had never had a scam or malware problem with online dating. If you are willing to date girls in your closest city you will open up to more possibilities.
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