A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm so unhappy with myself. I'm a terrible person and have lost all the people from my life because of it. i had a best friend from 13 years who did a lot for me and gave me eveything i wanted. i betrayed him and asked him to leave when he introduced me to his girl friend because i was jealous and even told his girl that he left me because of money which was not true. now they no longer want to see my face anymore.i made another best friend and went on a trip with him for the summer and he really helped me get out of my breakup and was there for me during my bad time when i was suicidal. i didn't even check on him afterwards to see how things are with him and just made it about my self. instead i started telling people mockingly that i hurt him. i never called or text him or anything and he was there for me. now after two months i'm too ashamed to call him now after so much gap.i made some girl friends but only used them but i only went with them when i wanted to, was late on their birthdays, last night i went out for a friends birthday and got her late by 30 minutes and i always get drunk and do stupid things and people think they always have to take care of me and they don't want t0 be with me. i go for fun and don't take any interest in them.this was all while living in one city and now everyone knows what a selfish person i am. i feel terrible about my self. i'm alone and have no one not even a single person wants to be with me. everyone makes fun of me and that is because of my own actions.i have only now realised why i am loosing people from my life because i don't care for them and always expect them to do things for me instead of me doing for them. i said sorry but never changed. now i'm in a severe depression my life is meaningless. i don't have a job or famiy or any friends and my mother is the only person i talk to and she loves out of country.i know i'm a horrible person and i have hurt people thats why they want to hurt me. Can I undo the damage i've done to the people aleady or should i just move on and move out of town and just learn and start a new life altogether. will i ever change or will i always be like that? there are no people in my life right now not even a single friend and its scary how do i tell new people why i don't have anyone? how can i tell the old ones to forgive me. i know everyone tells me i need to work on my self i'm always loosing things and being irresposible i have never worked in my life because i was married to a doctor for 7 years who left me for the same reaons.
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best friend, drunk, jealous, money, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MaggieU +, writes (1 November 2012):
Im goin through the same thing right now!! I have been sober for one week today. After countless stupid actions, I have finally come to realize that I am in control of my life!! Look deep within yourself and find what is really bothering you! Is it insecurity, bad things happen in your life ? Take control of yourself and your actions, keep a journal of how you feel in certain situations, YOU CAN DO IT ( God Bless )
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (28 October 2012):
Have you tried AA meetings? You do not need to be an alcoholic to attend...anyone who has a desire to abstain from alcohol is welcomed at the meetings. The 12-step program is about acknowledging that your life has become unmanageable and it provides you with steps (and guidance) to make positive changes in your life. Their website is www.aa.org. If you are interested in attending a local meeting, use a search engine to find local chapters, meeting types, and times.
Belief in a higher power is part of AA so if you are athiest, agnostic, or simply not religious you may prefer a program like Smart Recovery which focuses on empowering the individual to change their negative habits and learn how to make positive life choices. Meetings for Smart recovery are held both online and in many larger cities. Please visit their website http://www.smartrecovery.org/meetings/index.htm for more info.
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A
male
reader, Beautifulboy +, writes (28 October 2012):
hey there miss, ok heres my opinion being that i have acted the same way to my friends and have been that drunk idiot that has made mistakes and has even made fun of my very friends that have came to pick me up and take me out to the bars.. ok you may believe you here this alot but its all about loving yourself. it really is hun!! the reason i acted the way very similar to you is because i did not love myself and believed that i was a failure. i tried to hide my drug use, i was an alcoholic in denial, was hiding that i was molested as early teen, and even though i was popular growing up, i felt if people realy knew me then i wouldnt be popular anymore becuz how could any1 like who i realy was?? this is how i felt about myself. im also very goodlooking but didnt believe i was or that i had anything to offer to a beautiful girl. what you do first is except who you are and do not hide it from ur friends. once you let it out they will still be there for u and still be ur friends an that goes as well with family an bf\gfs too. if u have been abused in the past or hurt u need to open up or u will not change just trust me. i have been thru this and im a diff person now. u have no idea what it feels like to instead of act like the hott guy player, or the life of the party, or mr popular or that cocky cool guy to instead be subtle, sensitive, mature and sweet and caring while out with my friends and be who i really am. its great and i have way more mature beautiful stable women approaching me than the lesser amount of hott hoes an party girls who liked me because of my rep an just because i was hot in the past in my acting days. the real me realy cares about girls and their feelings an want to hold them and be there for them compared to me joking about them an talking about them behind there backs in the past. all of my friends and i mean all of them want to hang out with me way more an women text me all the time and im friends with girls now an we go to church together an lunch dates an me an my guy friends play basketball an go to the mal and work hard an wen we do go to the bars, i am now myself because i have opened up and have grown up and i am me. i now have no desire to do drugs or drink and i have been sober for months all because theres no pain once you open up to the people around you and you see that they are still there and like u more and respect you. im pretty sure that the girl im responding to the statement of that you are amazing deep down. i know you are just by the way you care to make it up to your friends an how you came here wanting that EXTRA LITTLE INCENTIVE TO OPEN UP TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU which you have already planned on doing and i admire that. be open and honest ok sweetie, you have to trust me please... the life you have always wanted is waiting for you just like mine was. i have opened up to EVERYBODY ALMOST an the pain is gone... it was the biggest exhale ever. alot of girls have a front an act a certain way because the way they act while out has gotten their friends attention an they believe if they act diff or be who they really are that everybody wont like them anymore and will leave them and sweetie, that is the FURTHEST FROM THE TRUTH-. if you want a great life be yourself be yourself be yourself. you will get your friends back and all the people you care about wheb you open up an tell them u act that way out of fear an explain exactly the root of the drama type scenarios that stem from you are due to fear and insecurity.. Your friends will respect you and love you more. dont waste another second of ur beautiful life ruining it. please just trust me. go be yourself sweetheart because the real you is far more amazing and loyal than they could ever imagine and i know this because one of my gifts is reading people and your a rose waiting to blossum.. god loves you a lot and he's waiting for you to use your angel like abilities that he has blessed me and you with an spread his love and care... take care... friend kisses.. mmwhaaah
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 Sorry to read this. To take some positives from this, you've realised yourself that you have behaved in a way that upsets others (you have insight) and you're in a young age bracket (you have loads of time to work on yourself).
Have you ever been treated for depression? Have you tried therapy? I would say that you have more chance of making sense of this and finding ways to move on with some help.
One of the things that's hard with depression is admitting to people how you feel. Your friends probably have no idea. They just see the side of you that you describe. It helps to tell friends when you feel vulnerable and not keep it bottled up inside you. It might not be too late with these friends you've lost, same with the guy you went on summer vacation with, but you have to learn to open up and ask for help. And apologise when necessary. You can make a start by trying to rebuild some of those bridges. Don't feel too ashamed; no one is perfect after all.
I agree that finding some work will help you, even if just voluntary or entry level to begin with. You will have less time to brood, feel lonely and you'll get a sense of achievement. You need to find your feet, change from a teenager mentality to being a grown woman with responsibilities.
Good luck with everything.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 October 2012):
 What you need now is not partying and escaping from depression, you need to face this aloneness and make peace with it. You have to understand that negative emotions is a part of us. People have chosen to suppress it, stuff themselves with food, alcohol, drugs, they hoard. Still the same, the depression is there. You have been so reliant on outside factors to fill your emptiness. Now you have to train yourself to be more self reliant. First you have to get back to basics like getting an entry level job if you could. Have you ever thought that you don't take interest in people because you are not really interested in making friends, even before you met the doctor? I think it's time to really sit and think about what you want to do in your life, because other people can't do this for you. You don't have to start a new life in another town. No one has to know how "horrible" you were. Basically you are getting a divorce just like half of the population is. Because you are in a hole now it would seem like everyone else is having a good rewarding life. Struggle is a part of life and maybe after this experience you will cherish what you have when someone happens to be good to you. There is no need to punish yourself by reinforcing you are bad and have people leave you. It's good you didn't get pregnant. I think it's possible for you to date and love again, but first you have to forgive yourself and move on from the past, then you can think clearly.
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