A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for a few weeks. I really like him and we have fun together. The thing is, we've done some sexual stuff and I sort of feel weird that I did that with someone who isn't my boyfriend.He just got out of a long-term relationship about two months ago so I understand that he doesn't want to be exclusive yet. He says he doesn't want to get serious with me but that there's also a possibility of that happening. I haven't been in a relationship in three years so I'm ready. I want to be with him. But I'm not sure if I want to wait around for him to be ready. Does that make me a bad person? And does that mean I can see other people? (sorry, i know that sounds bad) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): "He says he doesn't want to get serious with me but that there's also a possibility of that happening."
Yeah right, that's the oldest one in the book. I might in the future but in the meantime let me shag you while I make up my mind.
Op if you're up for a rebound casual sex thing with a guy who has no intention of being your boyfriend go for it.
He'd know now whether that is going to happen, he said maybe so you wouldn't piss off and he'd lose the sex.
I bet you 1 million bucks if you stuck to your original principle of no sex while not in a relationship he'd be gone like a shot. Give it a try, I bet he'll just stop bothering if you don't have sex to offer.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I would not wait around for him to want to be exclusive.
date others
don't be sexual beyond your comfort level till you get a commitment. USE protection if you do.. including for oral sex...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I think you will probably be waiting a LONG time for him to want to be exclusive, if he ever does. If you really think he might change his mind, then yes you can see other people. If he can, why shouldn't you? Not to sound manipulative, but there's also a lot less pressure on him to want to make a decision if you are waiting patiently and monogamously for him while he can do what he likes.
My advice is to not wait though. You can continue to see each other casually, but in the meantime look for someone more promising. If you find someone better, good. If he changes his mind? Also good.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (21 October 2012):
 You can wait as long as you wish for you and "new B/F" to become exclusive....
HOWEVER, until/unless you and "new B/F" discuss this issue, all specific details are off...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (21 October 2012):
 Yes you can see other people. If he gets upset then you can tell him you weren't official. Better yet, just break up and move on and be sure that the next guy is ready. Waiting is painful, I will tell you why. You would always wonder what it feels like to have a proper guy who asks you out, treat you like a princess. When you wait for him you forsake that sweetness at the beginning of the dating ritual and you would resent him later for taking that experience away from you. When he is finally ready he might not be chasing you, since you already gave him sex. For him, it will feel like relationship is a doable, manageable thing, rather than an exciting journey together. He might even agree to a relationship because he feels he owns you, gets attached to you but doesn't want some other guy to have you. So before that stage, break it off. It's easier on both hearts. I am not saying a relationship is not possible but why gamble. What has he got that's so worthy of you risking of your vulnerable heart? I do believe that courtship is an essential part of the relationship.
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