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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, everyone. My boyfriend has a thing for Kim Kardashian. I personally think she's an overrated, spoiled brat. He has pleasured himself to her before, while we were broken up, but just recently I had fallen asleep before him and I woke up to him in the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it and asked him to come to bed with me. I was exhausted, but he kept trying to make a move, so he and I well... you know. Anyway, I woke up after that and being the sneaky girlfriend that I am, (please, no hard criticism here), I looked through his browsing history, and there were almost ten pages of him searching her nude, sex tape, sexiest moments, etc. He knows how I feel about him watching porn. I just don't like the idea of him going off to pleasure himself when I'm willing to have sex anytime. He tried denying it,and then finally admitted, only because there was proof. I'm SO disgusted that he not only watched that, but had sex with me after. What does everyone think about this? Am I overreacting, or is he being disrespectful? Also, what's the deal with this girl? Why do guys like her so much?? He's an "ass" man, and I'm the complete polar opposite of her, so it makes me feel inadequate and that I'm not his "ideal beauty". I'm pale, with tattoos and short hair. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty, but more "Suicide Girl" pretty than "stereotypical rich girl" pretty.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much! I feel so much better about this. He and I talked and he respects my opinion. He felt horrible that it made me feel so poorly about myself, and sharing that with him made me realize why I'm with him to begin with. He even bought flowers, and I shared some of your views with him. As always, the advice you all give is just what I need.
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female
reader, shrodingerscat  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 *I have to disagree with this. Her good complexion is all makeup, her "full" lips are no doubt lip injections, eyes lashes are most definitely fake, and she has hair extensions. She is NOT beautiful. At least to me, she is not. It doesn't count unless it's NATURAL. And lets face it, very few women (if any) have ALL of these qualities naturally. *You can disagree all you like, as we're all free to have our own opinions. I think that cosmetics and cosmetic surgery are perfectly valid in the quest for improving one's appearance, and don't condemn people for doing what they like to their own bodies. It's not really any of my business what she does to her own body with her own money, and frankly, her job is to be attractive. That's what she's decided to do with her life. I don't really understand why it "doesn't count" if it's not natural. Very few women these days are beautiful without ANY sort of cosmetic alteration...even the most tom boy girls out there still do things like shave their legs.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): I've had 6 boyfriends, 4 of them viewed porn. The only thing i can think of is to get someone who doesn't like porn and finds it tacky there are some.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Kim Kardashian has a body like what Jessica Rabbit was modeled after. She looks cartoonish to me, and most guys I know don't find her to be that attractive.
As for him wanking to other women/porn, I have MANY links about this on my profile that will help you talk to him about this in a more productive way. I know it hurts a lot and is probably hard to sound non-accusatory, but if you sound upset about this right off the bat, he will reflexively become defensive and that won't go anywhere. Look at the links on my profile.
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female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 She is w*nk material, that's how she promotes herself and wishes to be seen.
You are his girlfriend, who he talks to, snuggles with and makes love to.
You are so right when you say 'poles apart' It's the difference between a quick w*nk and making love.
Sometimes men just need the quickie option and he uses this 'objectified' woman to grab that.
If you find he's getting a bit too obsessed you might have to have a bit of a chat and pull him back from the ledge, but I don't think it's anything to worry about.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): "Objectively, she's very beautiful. She has a lot of markers that display fertility and youth, such as a good complexion, full lips, long eyelashes, shiny hair, and an hourglass figure."I have to disagree with this. Her good complexion is all makeup, her "full" lips are no doubt lip injections, eyes lashes are most definitely fake, and she has hair extensions. She is NOT beautiful. At least to me, she is not. It doesn't count unless it's NATURAL. And lets face it, very few women (if any) have ALL of these qualities naturally. For the OP: Don't compare yourself to fake beauty. There's no point, because unless you have thousands of dollars to spend on your appearance, you're not going to match that "perfect image" you see all the time in the media. Why would you want to, anyway? They're a dime a dozen."I'm SO disgusted that he not only watched that, but had sex with me after. What does everyone think about this? Am I overreacting, or is he being disrespectful?"Yes, I feel he is being disrespectful to you. If he was only masturbating to her, that would be one thing. But he's coming to YOU after looking at her. It's only natural for you to feel like he has to look at her because your body doesn't turn him on enough. Whether that's the case or not isn't the point. There are a lot of women who feel like you do. Some women feel this way if their men look at any porn at all, let alone if they constantly look up photos and videos of one particular woman. There are gonna be people who will tell you you're "overreacting", but it's nothing against you. It just means they wouldn't consider it a problem.Another reader stated "And his porn use is obviously not harmful since he's still sleeping with you regularly." It is if he's using it right before sleeping with her. If he has to look at another naked woman in order to be turned on enough to have sex with her, then there's a problem. "Also, what's the deal with this girl? Why do guys like her so much??"Well, I personally don't know ANY guys who find her the least bit attractive. Just because your boyfriend happens to find her attractive doesn't mean every guy does. Have you ever asked him what he likes about her? If it's just her big ass, then the attraction isn't about her specifically. It's just about liking big asses. Another reader stated "Being in a relationship where the two of you are each other's fantasy vision of physical perfection is like winning the lottery."Then I won the lottery, so to speak. I'm not what the media would call perfect. I don't have big boobs, I don't wear makeup, my upper arms are a little thick (the rest of me is thin), I don't have a tan, and even though my hair is VERY long, it's not super thick. But I can honestly say my husband finds me physically perfect and he tells me AND shows me everyday. He's also not the "perfect man", but I still find him the most attractive. OP, it IS possible to find a guy who thinks you're the most beautiful woman in the world. Don't let anyone discourage you into thinking you could never be a man's "ideal" just because you don't fit a certain stereotype of woman.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): I don't know her personally so I can't comment, but the persona that is her disgusts me and she represents everything that it wrong in this world. I hate media whores and I include men in that statement.
Now to your specific issue, "I just don't like the idea of him going off to pleasure himself when I'm willing to have sex anytime." Masturbation isn't about sex for us guys OP, it's a quick release that takes two minutes, is that how long sex lasts for you? No. Masturbation is about having a quickie orgasm, nothing else. 2 minutes, no foreplay, no consideration of your pleasure, whip it out, make it hard, a few tugs, done, quick orgasm. OP quick masturbation is one of the perks of being a man, we don't get the mind blowing, almost blacking out types or variety of orgasms women can get but the trade off is we can have one in very little time, with very little effort.
"What does everyone think about this?" I think nothing of it because he was able to perform with you afterwards so it didn't have any negative effect physically.
"Am I overreacting, or is he being disrespectful?" For me personally overreacting. But that's just an opinion, you find it disrespectful then fair enough, the problem is OP most people masturbate in relationships both me and my girlfriend do and we both use erotica, porn etc to do so. In fact suicide girls is one of our favourite sites but the artsy black and white erotica stuff is far more appealing. I think it would be a mistake to try and stop him doing that simply because if he wanted sex OP he wouldn't be having a wank he'd go to you, plus come on are you really trying to tell us you're in the mood to satisfy him 100% of the time and during your cycle too? I mean if I haven't had sex that night I have a wank to fall asleep faster. Nothing sexual about it just a handy way of making myself tired. My girlfriend too may be in the mood for vibrator instead of me for an orgasm and she'll go ahead and sort herself out, no big deal.
"what's the deal with this girl?" Easy, she (the media persona) is fake trash, meat, basically an inhuman sex object who released a sex tape with a guy to get money and fame, so it makes it easier for guys to look at her with zero emotion or respect only sex because that's what she sells herself as, a mindless body with a big ass, someone to be used and thrown away. What better type of woman to use for a wank than a living sex doll who disappears from your mind once you finished?
A friend of mine described her as the kind of woman you wouldn't even look in the face while you're shagging her and kick her out of your apartment once you're done. Not the most politically correct view but it's common.
OP give me a break with that ideal beauty stuff, is he your ideal? Every little thing about him is perfect is it? He's the dream guy you always imagined being with in every single way? OP we can like more than one ass you know, we like all shapes and sizes of boob, we love all skin tones, heights, weights and the vast majority of us while we may have preferences find women outside those preferences beautiful too. I mean you may like blond hair in a guy but you've seen guys with dark hair you thought were hot right?
He wouldn't be your boyfriend if he didn't think you were gorgeous and he never compares you to any other woman especially not cheap trash.
Personally if it bothers you talk to him, tell him to be as discrete about his wanking habits as he would be at home around his mom, you want to see no evidence and you'd prefer he didn't do it while you are around as you'd rather fool around instead. Just tell him if he wants a wank while you're around then let you be a part of it or let you do it for him or something. Simple as that. Just remember though OP a wank is like a snack, a quick bite to eat when you're a bit hungry but don't want a full meal, it may get annoying if you keep offering him a full home cooked meal when all he wants is an apple if you know what I mean.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2012): " He's an "ass" man, and I'm the complete polar opposite of her, so it makes me feel inadequate and that I'm not his "ideal beauty". If he is an ass man and you have no ass, then yes, you do not match up his vision of ideal beauty. So what? I am not my fiance's ideal woman either. I am one cup size away from the ideal and you know what? I couldn't care less. Why? Because I know he loves me more than he has loved any other woman in his life. Because I know boobs and butts don't make a relationship nor do they sustain one. And to top it off, he is far from my physical ideal as well. In fact, I am closer to his ideal than he is to mine. Can you honestly say that your boyfriend's body is your vision of manliness? How many women do you think have boyfriends who they consider ideal and who gets them horny just looking at them? Being in a relationship where the two of you are each other's fantasy vision of physical perfection is like winning the lottery.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Please don't compare yourself with Kim Kardashian. With money, anyone can be beautiful. She is just a sexual object. No one cares if she is a spoiled brat. When he has sex with you, he should only think about you, and not fantasize about big asses. He should also rely less on porn as a visual aide to get turned on. When he can't be turned on just by looking at you, there is a problem and you should end the relationship rather than going around circles try to fix something he won't change.
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (22 October 2012):
Objectively, she's very beautiful. She has a lot of markers that display fertility and youth, such as a good complexion, full lips, long eyelashes, shiny hair, and an hourglass figure.Her personality doesn't mean anything in terms of his fantasies. She could be the biggest bitch in the world, and she'd still be objectively beautiful. In his fantasies, she's not a person, she's just an image to masturbate to. So her "spoiledness" or "overratedness" doesn't matter.The fact that she's objectively attractive and your boyfriend's "type" is the reason he masturbates while fantasizing about her. Unfortunately, human nature dictates that we don't masturbate thinking about how great someone's personality is, we objectify them for their beauty. It's not shallow, or wrong, it's just the way human beings are.I think you should stop snooping. It's obviously bothering you. And his porn use is obviously not harmful since he's still sleeping with you regularly.
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